Month: March 2017

Jesus Christ! drum and drummer

Because of David Bowie and Big Crosby, “Little Drummer Boy” got some cultish legs. Their generation gap is so flamin’ famous Will Ferrell and John C, Reilly have a Funny or Die skit bit on their hit (i died). Even Jack Black and Jason Segel pay College Humor homage to that fromage (this one’s animated, but still turgid).

A favorite iconoclasm on the song is to rock it, like Joan Jett and The Blackhearts do (slightly).

A whole cool new musical rebirth is what’s needed, like Jaime Bee and the Royal Jelly Orchestra does so well. It’s almost big klezmer band… so tasty!

Best of all is a parody of a Bob Dylan song about musicians (‘Tambourine Man’) turned inside down by joker Joel Kopischke. Witness “Mister Drummer Boy Man” and wonder how no one ever chanced upon this brilliant commentary on talent/showmanship/fame/pride heretofore.

Jesus Christ! keep away

“Away in a Manger” is a courtly reverence from the late 19th C.

It’s a Death Metal Xmas (I think that’s the name of the group) plays “Away” games meaning Devil whenever it refers to Jesus. What pure anger, what absolute irony!

The Blind Boys of Alabama (featuring George Clinton and Robert Randolph) completely rearrange “Away” with mighty blues and a dawning of the funk. God!

Bob Francis takes it “Away” with a lounge lizard lipping on the Lord. He-e-e-e-y!

The Go Go Boys homosexualize the whole magilla with “Away with a Stranger.” Don’t blush, this is the least explicit of these queer chorusers. It’s almost romantic (for a Christmas vacation hookup).

Jesus Christ! in the hark ballpark

I can’t avoid this forever: most old fashioned traditional boring Christmas carols are about the coming of the King of Kings,

“Hark the Herald Angels Sing” doesn’t get much jiggery pokery, not that it isn’t steamrolled by inappropriate talent.

purenrg puts a Disney caffeinated zing on “Hark” so at least it’s over quickly. But what a teeny mess.

Bob Dylan’s own holiday album from a couple years back murdalizes “Hark” with coffee making (‘he brews’ get it?). Ow-ow-owoooo!

Lounge lizarding the joint up, Jesus Presley (you read that right) smarms the high holy right off “Hark”‘s Godly goodness. It’s all instrumental, so save it for your next karaoke coming out. O my.

Jesus Christ! hoot nanny

The other side of the country coin is bumpkinism. Plain folks may be sincerely holy, but they have humorously illiterate ways.

Lucky Tones retells their mishearing of the Nativity with homey humor. “Baby Jesus, Santa Claus, and Frankenstein” may not rise to the level of Homer and Jethro, but it’s an amateur recording in a back room with good old boys who keep comedy clean. Good ’nuff for me. (What was Frankenstein doing in that manger? Frankensteinly stuff!)

Jesus Christ! pickin and grinnin

The Light of the World was born in the country, and country folk do appreciate him. So  many of the massive church numbers began as simple folk-grass.

The Staples Singers bicycle through “Wasn’t That a Mighty Day,” keeping the spiritual simple, showing their Xmas roots from when the power came from the words, not the orchestration and 3000 voices strong.

One of my favorite down-in-the-dirt folk albums is by some of the Seegers entitled American Folk Songs. Please to get your holy lowly from Colum MacColl’s own “Wasn’t That a Mighty Day” and Mike Seeger with “Sing a Lamb.” Well, garsh.

You can still hear traces of the heavenly choir in the harmonious Trail Band’s “New Baby King.” It’s a barn burner/praise raiser, without the tabernacle.

Jesus Christ! name-dropping

So, where’d the parents come up with that name? Did they have a grand-uncle with that name? Did they make a list? Were they told?

Maynard’s Groovy Bible Tunes extrapolates out of scripture how Josephus came down to it. David  Heath-Whyte sillies up the process in a children’s cheerleading chant: “Jospeh Call Him Jesus.” no need to take notes, you’ll have the spelling rote by the end of the song.

Jesus Christ! naming rights

What’s in a name? Well, Adolf Christ probably wouldn’t have worked so well.

Plain folk singer Pete Seeger muses through “Glory to That Newborn King.” It’s close, intimate, and moving.

Leave it to gospel man Kirk Franklin to explain that “Something about the Name Jesus” means everything. (I heard it was a variant of Joshua anyway.) There’ some trouble ending a joyful refrain here though.

Jesus Christ! the setting

Taking the time to rework ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen to meet your own comical needs is a consuming labor, but several have done it.

ApologetiX has a lively, clever version (or two), but it’s OT about David and Goliath. (Did they fight in Bethlehem? Or was that Elhanan and Goliath?)

Queen even did a Santa/gifts lark with their own parody.

I prefer the Mark Bradford attempt. Lots of churches use it (with awful costumes/puppetry), and it’s a super duper parody.

Jesus Christ! the place

Vanessa Bell Armstrong funks up the soul for a wonderful testament to the time and place of the birth of the Light of the World, despite the over-tympanification. “The Inn Keeper” is a song to feel deep down into your faith organs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JV3HtXyriwU