Some kids KNOW what they want. Some keep working and worrying it out. One such stream-of-conscious wonderer is featured in a fine folk bit by Professor Steve. In “A Letter to Santa” we learn no lessons, we reach no conclusions, but we kick back and have a fireplace moment with pencil and pad. Enjoy.
Month: December 2016
Christmas List: item ten (yellow cake uranium)
So i gots a case of the sillies and i might as well include Seth McFarlane and company with their Family Guy tribute “Christmas List,” which is mean and joyous and all those gee-dee things the kids find so funny these days.
[If you want an upbeat happyhappyhappy version of this tune, be careful what you wish for— then dial up the My Little Pony version “All I Really Want for Christmas.” All they want is happiness. In their own quirky girly ways.
Christmas List: item nine (forgot=zero)
What’s worse than not getting what’s on your list?!
The Kids get all retro twangy rock with funny accents (is this a new branch of rockabilly i didn’t get the memo on?) with “I Wrote a Letter to Santa.” This needs to get played at your next dance party, cats and kittens, but be advised: if you listen too carefully to the lyrics, YOU WILL CRY.
Christmas List: item eight (rocket pack)
While in a juvenile mood, let’s jump ahead. The best lists for kiddies are developed along a live-and-learn progression. Hearken to Heywood Banks (he of ‘Diddley Squat’ fame) and his ongoing letters of correction to Mr. The Twenty-fifth. “Dearest Mr. Santa Claus” starts out chock full of self interest and id, but give it a chance: …isn’t that sweet?
Christmas List: item seven (a million gifts)
Christmas list making is all about childish desperation. Let’s find a party anthem and get immature with Simple Plan. ‘I want everything!’ is the first line of an impressive list, so check your inventory, Kringle. Here comes “My Christmas List.”
Christmas List: item six (major credit cards/her)
Let’s turn down the lights and turn up the R+B. What is essentially a rap number gets the smoove treatment by Jamie Foxx. It’s slow, sensual, and essential for the giving mood. “Christmas List” here may take an odd turn to percussion, but it spotlights the home and hearth, y’all. Fulla love.
Christmas List: item five (a couple bucks/love)
Mo’ rap, mo’ wrapping. These guys want it all. Quad City DJs (incl. 69 Boys, and K-nock) run it past ya (get a pencil!) with “What You Want for Christmas.” Catchy, hey.
Ever suspect only the slow can rap? Exhibit B: Krispy Kreme with his “Christmas Wish List.” Don’t forget what you learned about girls’ butts!
Self appointed rap master EKOH would like you to visit him on Facebook. If you are suspicious of yet another white dude busting’ a rhyme, try to keep up with his “Christmas List Rap” (nominally set to the theme music of the movie ‘Elf’). He even juggles.
Christmas List: item four (transformers/world peace)
Let’s tone down the irony just a scratch with some heartfelt 1980s folk rock.
First, a retro She & Him evaluation over what a “Christmas Wish” ought to be for.
Then Timbuk3 lay into your merciless mercantilism with “All I Want for Christmas.” It was on TV and everything.
Christmas List: item three (robot pelican)
I can understand the big irony here: rough and nasty rebellious music for a childish idea about writing to Santa.
Showboats try to keep commercial rap alive back in the ’90s with “All I Want for Christmas.” Their list, when they finally sample their way to it, is pretty dope-y.
But let’s party with the coolest wannabes in rock metal–Tenacious D and Sum 41 going all gonzo with “Things I Want.” Mildly blue, gang. Hey–when are you going to use that bee bee gun in your time machine? Hitler? Cool. (Oh, yeah, and it’s a tiny bit blue.)
Christmas List: item two [BLUE ALERT] (anti-gravity gold boots)
Mo’ Midwestern guys, mo’ funny rap.
Not so much wink this time, hardcore The Basement Boys want to fit as much swag into garbled fast talk as they can. They want man-stuff and they want it now.
[For a hilarious version of awkward rap, Rappy McRapperson was tagged last Christmas by me singing one of my favorite grabby numbers: “Gimme Stuff.” Damn that’s funny.]