The Rude Off: crappy

Any other humor we can inject into the Rudolph song? How’s about the scatalogical?

Rudolph Don’t Go” is Kristen Key’s kidsong entry into Christmas poop. Guess what it’s about?!

Santa and Rudolph’s Poop Contest” also does NOT bury the lede. Lil Poverty Angels get word salad rap ready.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Hemorrhoid” is Matt ‘The Toilet Bowl Cleaners’ Farley’s depiction of holiday distress.

Rudolph Dropped a Package on My Rooftop” is the clever yet country humor of Brad Tassell and Steve Goodie.

Rudolph the Reindeer (S**t on My Lawn)” is The Flatworms’s garage nastiness (it’s like black cottage cheese!).

Sorry, everyone. I can’t feature any of these. So let’s end on a big downer, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (a rendition in minor key)” from Tempus Cucumis (Time of the cucumber??) This is more than shitty, this is enormously doomy. See, the ending is changed from happy to– well, you’ll see.