Poof

In a world… without Santa… where would presents be?

Dunt dun DUH.

Fiction Family claims “I Don’t Need No Santa Claus,” but it’s because he gots his baby. Rockabilly always needs more airtime on noveltychristmasmusic.com, so there. Swing it, swingers.

Victoria Spivey rolls out the blues when she’s got no Santa (she means a man to take care a’ her). “Christmas Without Santa Claus” is depressing, but you know what she means, don’t you all?

Shirley Booth and Mickey Rooney and co. introduce “The Year Without Santa Claus” from the 1974 Rankin & Bass TV event with a musical tribute to the ol’ bugger taking time off. Gonna need a note from the Surgeon General, boo.

Myth? BLUE ALERT angry response. “Ain’t No Santa” from Trick Daddy raps hard on the miserable world we have, which precludes the hope and love a Santa would bestow upon us. No hugs from thugs.

Christmas gets along without him, right? “The Christmas Films that Forgot Santa” are the usual suspects that people debate whether or not they’re holiday movies. Launch Control rockets the pop so you don’t take any but their side. Woo!

Jonathan Fin finishes off the whole presents for free con job with sidebars to incest abuse, god gimcrackery, and alien invasion in the ‘Here Comes’ parody “There’s No Santa Claus.” ‘Nuff said.