Don We Now: SWEATERS!

Weirdly, that horrible knitted thing has a spell on you.

Gina Naomi Baez wants an “Ugly Christmas Sweater Party.” Pop soul for the puppies (!).

Loving that “Ugly Christmas Sweater,” The Withers sway and swoon with their new objet d’art, which may be made of twine or of pop music.

You know who really wants one? Hermione Crookshanks sings “The Sweater Song” about how Mrs. Weasley knits for Ron and Harry for Christmas… but what about the girl? Jazzy pop.

Fetishizing, The Benefit & The Chinese Fire Kites get aroused “(When You Wear) Your Christmas Sweater.” Punk driven pop fun.

Garth Brooks also does love that girl in “The Ugly Christmas Sweater.” She stands out, unlike his cookie cutter country claptrap.

Michael Flores loves that “Ugly Christmas Sweater” ‘cuz it’s ugly–i think. Home studio R+B cool pop.

Dude’s only friend is his top, so Jason Harwell is folky alt with his “Ode to a Christmas Sweater.” He’s talking to it. That’s not usual, is it?

Orange Para get all hypnagogic pop with their “Attractive Christmas Sweater.” The focus seems to be proximity to somone else warm, tho–