Could we have overlooked anything?
Holey Moly yes.
Family – “That’s What I Want for Christmas” by li’l orphan Shirley Temple. It’s from some heart-tugger.
A black president – MC Overlord. Ahh, nostalgic rappin’ times.
A gun – The Vandals with more punkish punk. Ian Yo Yo Yo (Jib Jab Brothers) go urban for the Red Ryder Rifle. (Still preferable to the ‘Christmas Story’ musical version.) Best of the range is Roy Zimmerman’s “Buy War Toys for Christmas.” Made Demento famous by The Twang.
A bag of weed – Common Enemy (BLUE ALERT). Hard garage rock.
Cancer – Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains. Ah, the young and their guitar banging regrets.
A tan – Kenny Chesney mashes up Hawaiian slide with country drawl. (It’s an all over he’s after, with you dawlin.)
A space ship – Bah & The Humbugs recognize that some intergalactic captains keep getting their rides blasted out from under them.
A Doodle-Li-Boop – Art Carney with authentic drunk-sounding jazz novelty from the ’50s.
A Ting Ting – Billy Ruffian attempts to update this old folk chestnut. (Yeah, more punk influence.)
Swiss Colony Beef Log – South Park boys deliver it again with “Swiss Colony Beef Log;” it’s what a fat kid wants for Christmas.
A new hat – Thots takes it easy on Santa and for that we thank you.