Jonathan Coulton and John Roderick hearken us back to 1977 and the best present a kid could hope for, the Atari Computer Video System–a game you could play on your TV that wasn’t Pong. Also known as the “2600,” this quantum leap in technology began the decline of Western Civilization. Who didn’t want to be the first kid on the block with one?! Repetitive pop madness.
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Ringers: Tootles
Not quite at the bottom of taste, The Ninja Fam put to music the story of the flatulent force behind Santa’s need for speed. “Tootles the Tooting Reindeer” might be an animated Xmas special somewhere. Those who need to can find it, I’m sure. Otherwise, enjoy this tame pop music kidsong.
Ringers: Boudreaux
If you wondered who was the most Cajun reindeer of all, Eric Stone has a tune-appropriate answer: “Boudreaux the Cajun Reindeer.” He apparently saves Mardi Gras by making the beer run. Wild piano solo.
X-claim: hey (pt. 3)
Who do we really Hey around Xmas?! Is it Santa?! (Listeners, a whole month-load of songs exist to call out Big Red; let’s reduce our consumption to a handful of odd ‘uns.)
The Something Awful people (well, Kruxy) take on Carnie & Wendy Wilson’s pop nonsense with an unending hell of “Hey Santa.” DJ = demented jokery.
Awkward girl rap from Jocie Dena, “Hey Santa” is neither angry nor profane. Nor do the rhymes bust.
Pleading ’80s style lite jazz relays a personal message to help repair a bad breakup. Pricey Diggs’s “Hey Santa” is wet snow on the carpet.
Better is the dad rock of Kerr Donnelly Band’s “Hey Santa.” Elvis fossils.
Beating out Brian Setzer by the hair on my chin chin chin, Royal Crown Revue lays “Hey Santa” into jazz band heaven. You brazen hussy.
Sweet, Hot and Sassy take the ‘Santa Baby’ bit to swing nightclub lengths with their “Hey Santa (Hey, Daddy).” Cue the bluegrass fiddle!
Well, The Moonglows might just own “Hey, Santa Claus” in terms of doo wop, heartbreak, and overall cool. Dig that licorice stick.
So many more… Then there’s the alias–
In all their music video finery Showaddywaddy pop out some 1974 party fun with their hymnal “Hey Mister Christmas.” It’s all fun and games until somebody puts out. Vice Squad improves this with a touch of punk.
Life After X-and if I catch Santa– [BLUE ALERT]
Has Santa ever let YOU down? How does that make you feel after Xmas?
Johnny Setlist has got those “Post-Christmas Blues” for the reasons that no Santa, no presents, and even no snow inflict upon him. Humming, strumming actual blues. But ironic. (Which is not a blues thing.)
When Young Tom doesn’t get what was on his list, Same Time Tomorrow hard rocks the response in “The Day After Christmas.” Careful! When he still doesn’t get it another year after THAT, (BLUE ALERT) he’s even less satisfied.
Life After X-wah
The letdown of the end of the year is post-seasonal depressing. No matter how great Xmas was, the wind-down is a wet blanket in comparison.
Jerry Becker begs, Please don’t let “The Day After Christmas” turn cold. He reasons, It’s just another day. And his tuneless muddling is just another song.
More British, Quadband adds a symphonic backbeat to the message–“The Weekend After Christmas” shatters every childhood dream. Harsh, but well rehearsed.
Michael DeLong magics a guitar while reciting a laundry list of what you don’t get in “After Christmas Blues.” It’s a lot. More folk than blues, though.
The least wonderful time of the year, begins “After Christmas (Januarysong).” Wisherkings slows time and melody to make us face the end of joyeaux noel. Symphonic folk weirdness. Damn.
Isn’t the Sun a Star Too
This is an oopsie entry. Didn’t realize i skipped a day. But there’s always one more song to list for any theme.
Sia diva pops “Sunshine” about how good you’ll feel with my comfort. What?
Even more metaphorically, Hot Hot Heat rock the state of mind in “Christmas Day in the Sun.” I’m guessing it’s SoCal burnout.
More funnily, Joel Kopischke parodies up a storm with “Christmas in the Sun.”
Family friendly rock from Aussie Kids Rock with the geography lesson “Christmas in the Sun.” Thirty degrees, Bruce!
The Stage Crew reggae rocks “Christmas in the Sun” like they’re south of the equator (Jamaica isn’t quite the ticket). It’s all love, though. Check the sing-along fervor.
Star of Bethlehem
According to The Gospel of Matthew, the Nativity was backlit by a moving miracle. The star in the East drew the Magi, but not Herod, who was looking to murder prophecied Messiahs. And stars are a great symbol (pentagrams include all five elements, cf. Bruce Willis). And they’re pretty when you don’t have so much urban light pollution. (It’s a miracle to see any stars anymore.)
[Sidebar: “Star of Bethlehem” is such a symbol, Neil Young sings about needing help to get through a bad breakup in 1974. So, not so much Jesus.]
[Besidebar: German experimental band Can pinballed the weird folkrock “Little Star of Bethlehem,” but heavens if i can tell you what it’s about. Drugtrip for Froggie and Toadie?]
The “Star of Bethlehem” will show the way, according to the popified country from Danielle Rose. Yeah, it’s gonna be pretty Christian this month.
The Children’s Chorus sings “Star of Bethlehem” in the ‘Home Alone’ movie. Yeah, that’s John Williams’s churchy music. Lots of good stuff from this star: filling with hope, viewing with love, bettering our hearts, making us wiser. Star power activate.
Heaven Bells
When Heaven rings bells, it must be some kinder big deal. Thus, “Ding Dong Merrily on High.” This was an early 20th Century carol from one of those carol books the kids were always reading under the desks at school. Set to a really old dance tune, it has that ‘O’ part that goes up and down and up and down for people who like lots of notes but not so many words.
The music is nice filler for the background of some holiday party, but i couldn’t tell you who has a hit record of it–it’s that sacred. Roger Whittaker does his best to fool around with it, but it’s bells to God. And okay, there are lots of Celtic goes at it, a couple with bagpipes… which really makes a churchgoer sit and check his watch.
Let’s leave it to grunge masters I Don’t Know Margo to honor this hymn in their own garage way. Get me outta here.
At this point we gotta admit, sometimes the bells are TOO MUCH. “Christmas Bells” from the cast of ‘Rent’ documents the overexposure of marginalia instead of goodness and spirit during the season. Bells aren’t the topic, but the gateway into a mishmash of jazz atonal showpiece musical parts. Enjoy.
EX-Mas: the D word
Had enough? Time for the courts to get involved? You’ve been served.
Servo’s “Christmas Divorce” is jumpin’ ‘billy garage hotness which i suspect is slightly holiday themed.
Such a cool irony, it’s now an improv sketch. Painful Whispers treat us to an off the cuff sort-of folk song “Christmas Divorce.”
Trey Stone & The Ringers bring it home with “I Want a Divorce for Christmas,” an Elvis-inspired rock cacophony of woe and badly baked cookies.