Category Archives: spoken

ad silentnitum, repetitive

Here we go again. Songs about Xmas to infinity and beyond.

charizma! attempts to make us blush with their BLUE ALERT “Another Very Sunny Christmas,” blasting all their problems with some comme ci comme ça rap. Seems personal. Not professional.

Mine Like Me garage rocks “Another Lonely Christmas” with more feeling. Not so much catchy, as creaky.

Winning the loss game, Rev. Oris Mays (backed by Aretha Franklin and The New Bethel Baptist Church Gospel Choir eulogize “Another Christmas Without My Son.” This is how gramps rapped, kids.

Life After X-taking the cure

Another standard to observe after December’s festivities is the weight loss program.

The Christmas Pranksters use a barely recognizable ‘Santa’s Coming to Town’ tune to proclaim how tough it is to stop overeating in “‘Twas the Diet Before Christmas.” Wrong preposition, right sentiment. And clever.

Another advance call, this time with stronger parodic tones, “I’m Gonna Have to Diet After Christmas” posted by jsbarber1 features a talented diva claiming that a hippopotamus won’t do it either.

Spoken word parody (‘Night Before’) from Martha Taylor Lacroix begins our blues segment. “‘Twas the Day after Christmas” is a seductive selection of succulent proscriptions.

Almost Something

How bad do you have to be to be passed over by Santa? Do the math.

Merrill Leffmann leads the gang as they kid-culate what they can get away with in “I Hear a Lot About Santa.” Ragtime kidsong for the generations.

“Bad Little Boy” by Ray Stevens counts the sins like he’s sitting in the confessional. Kidsong but it ranges from pet torture to premeditating infanticide. It’s not exactly sung, but he’s not exactly repentant.

Yee Haw-liday: cowboy Santa

What’s Santa Claus do in his down time? Break broncs? Soap his saddle? Stare out into the wilderness until guided to his bedstead by those who care?

A sinister image, the red rider bearing down on you with his sack. “Far from the North Pole” is odd madness from Death Tongue that collapses one mythology into another. Just my cup of Glühwein.

Even more ‘Something Awful’ “Santa and Them Ingin Mans.” This spoken word acid trip from Lifepuzzler (feat. Stalwart Betamax) delivers the greatest gift of all: absurdity. (Well, racial tolerance, actually.)

Yee Haw-liday: the solitude

One hoof in front of the other, cowman. Keep it going. Count the days… it’s Christmas. How many days until the next stop?

Russell Roberts warbles improbably “Cowboy Christmas” as a tribute he may never understand. Country tinged pop mess.

David John and The Comstock Cowboys sneaks in some spoken word reflection for the song “A Rancher’s Christmas Prayer.” I’ll allow it. This is the philosophy of the planet. No better time to consider it.

Xmas Tech Support: Wikipedia

Whereas if you use Google you get ads; if you use Wikipedia to research you get whatever fabrication it amused the last contributer to append.

Worth repeating are Bill & Sam’s “Kwanzaa Song” just to teach you the evils of the computers and leisure time.

“Wikipedia Chanukah” samples Leonard Nimoy for Jonathan Coulton’s own comedic means to explain the history of this Jewish holiday. It adds his usual puckish electronica for full play. Not a song. But hella fun.