We’ve feted reindeers before (May-August 2021), but there’s always a few more songs….
Almighty Banks BLUE ALERT gets to be the nasty Santy in “Merry Christmas.” Rappin ’bout how: I’ll pull up in a sleigh with nine deer just to have them looking. Not sure if that’s sexual, but the rest is.
I suppose you were expecting cornball country! Like, say, Conway Twitty (and Twitty Bird) putting “Nine Little Reindeer” to cowboy quickstep music. well, i say thee nay.
Instead, The Sound of Monday turns Ho ho ho into Hey hey hey with “Lovin’ Santa’s Daughter.” But they’re sneaking’ under nine pairs of hoof (count ’em), so (???) i don’t know. But this surf rock spritely satisfies. So, huh.
Richard Melvin Brown plays soft jazz rock for his entirely serious “Santa’s Ninth Reindeer.” It’s a Rudolph song you probably have never heard. Ready?
Now, i ardently listen to Dr. Demento in the ’70s and could recite the lyrics to Benny Bell’s “Shaving Cream” at will. So, knock me over with a feather when i discovered Joel Samberg had updated this classic into “Holiday Shaving Cream” which includes building models of nine reindeer at night and finding behind them the next morning…
Christmas in Middle-Earth may not feature reindeer, in fact I sent the Nine, not reindeer, Ghosts. Who is this sender? Your clue is the title of the song “Eye See You (It’s Christmas).” It’s Sauron! This completely whack-a-doo Bossa nova delight from Brendan Dalton and The 1740 Boys Choir is the nerdy novelty you never knew you needed. Huzzah, it’s here.
Xmas is the time to dress up. Or is that the weather? Baritone intones in his word jazz opus: you’ve dress to the nines with jewels that sparkle, Now it feels like Christmas, I love… “The First Snow.” Lounge jazz with a Barry White coolness.
Leon Shelly gets more figurative with his “Ideal Paradigm.” This industrial folk wants an angel Under the Christmas tree, Unwrap her decorative paper, Beads of rosary, Dressed to the nines. Holiday ideals.
Coleman Spruce jingles some fine folk/honky tonk pop when he celebrates “It’s Christmas Here, Again.” It’s a fine line when I pour the wine, Be it red or white or nine seems to mark fine dining and partying, but then launches into some odd ‘Christmas Carol’ allusions.
“Jiggy Christmas” includes turkey sizzling with fried rice and Groomsmen more than nine guys. Figure that’s dressing UP. But the Yoruba from Yung Ziggy dresses up the wishes even more.
Cshakuore of Devaune Temple raps “Christmas Everyday” to pleasant Spanish guitar. Seems to be just hangin’, though the braggadocio of sexual prowess keeps coming up. Mentions a tech n9ne, but also Thankin’ Jesus for today now that’s a bar that u can carry For 9 months. Uh huh.
Chris Jones wants to make a case ’bout Jo and Mary fleeing the census (with her nine months out) in “No Sanctuary Here,” being ’bout the same as immigrants chased by INS at the border. Smooth blues makes the agenda go down easier.
Klaus Blatter reinvents the Nativity where God wants a son, has the hots for Mary, and (Here We Go!) nine months later… “Christmas Techno Dance.” Outrageous rave music.
More reverently, Henrisoul carib-raps the Nativity as “True Story (A Christmas Story).” [This one no be action film na real life story] the spirit of God na him enter inside the woman wey e give am belle so… Nine months time everybody start to jubilate.
Every fifth song about Christmas mentions the twenty-fifth, so we’re not going to play that game. Here are the NEW RULES for songs with this number: haven’t linked them before, and they’re GOOD. (Gotta be at least a 6.) This way we’ll keep this enumeration to a week of posts.
Ali Lohan comes prepackaged, corporate-approved, and formulated, but “I Like Christmas” is the bouncy mindless pop that meets minimum expectations. I bounced.
“My Christmas” by Louis Leiva may be a tutorial for those not so fluent in English, but this pop declaration marches to a party spirit. Dance!
Begrudgingly, Fresh Breath rolls out “It’s Christmas Time Again.” Old time country rock with a surly attitude when it comes to family: It’s holiday party season, There’s an open bar with a tip jar So I over serve myself And I’m drifting mid-conversation.
Also resigned, Southern Tiers call out It’s finally time to unwrap the best time of the year with lounge-y pop in “Finally Christmas.” Moody, but danceable.
Yoko Oh Yeah gets on the grunge side of folk balladeering while hunting for mushrooms to celebrate, bc–natch–“Santa is a Shaman.” The winter solstice comes for them with three days of darkness On the 25th the sun is born, let’s have a trippy mass. Daylight’s not here, man.
With just another parody of ‘Blue Christmas’ into “Zoom Christmas,” Sunday Comes Afterwards plays it cool with the wit and ukulele. Though your background displays 30 Rock’s Christmas tree; It won’t be the same dear, if you’re on my PC.
The girls are dressing to the nines for the holidays: Fur coat to the floor with the boots up high Swing my 30 inches from side to side. “December Sleigh (Slay)” from Nana Ama & 4.DAIZ backbeats hot salsa to their peppery rapping.
Piano bar jazz mellows down “West Coast Christmas,” where Micah Jess dreams of a TV white Christmas, or maybe 20 degrees, or maybe 30 degrees.
7, then 15, finally 30[something], Tish Hinajosa translates the super adorbs “Arbolito” about the little girl who just loves Christmas (and Andy Williams and icicles) and wants her little tree to know. Pop corrida.
It’s been a minute since we’ve seen ApologetiX, so let’s review their lovely Eagles’ parody “Hotel Can’t Afford Ya,” in which Joseph complains ‘They probably haven’t cleaned in here since B.C. 65.’ Rockin’ hilarious.
N95s are a symptom of “COVID Christmas,” a better-than-many-others comedy carol from Montague. Let the smarmy easy listening pop carry you to the ER.
Far away from home, and everything I know Cause only thing I see, is me on this open road South on 95, the thought of you keeps me alive. Jimmyjamster is getting there, baby, and “This Christmas” is the R+B road trip to your presence. So, okay.
Also getting there Jeremih and Chance the Rapper head On down Michigan Ave and hold my hand Take a red line from 95th to the End. “I’m Your Santa” is R+B rap with a romantic leaning. Awww.
Steve Pineo delivers unto us another Scrooge “In the Dominion of Mr. Klein.” This calypso rumba recalls when Mr. Klein he had a drink, told the poor people just what he think But don’t ever let the homeless say Mr. Klein never threw any money their way Because before he slammed the shelter door he threw 95 dollars on the floor And this was right at the Christmas time. And a one-two-three dip!
Oddly Irish-sounding, “Christmas with the Achmed Family” suffers due to the endless desert, 117 degrees, and opposing faith. But Jeff Dunham drags the comedy out of their unflappable suffering. So that’s a bit of fun.
While we’re lighting up the holy days let’s honor the Son of a Gun with… well, candles. Heart’s “Here is Christmas” begins with a little ‘Bring a Torch’ but deftly girl-pops into a soaring paean of… someone visiting the Earth. Candles really dress up a place for deity.
TobyMac (feat. Owl City) hard beats the pop in his rap “Light of Christmas.” This is the good of all of us, this light. Then a thousandangels are singing out–so now it’s sound not light. I guess.
“A Thousand Cookies for Christmas” lures us in with complex bi-lingual rhythms and sweets, but Angel A. Alvarez settles with that friend of ours, Jesus. That’s the reason. NOT the cookies. Just to be clear. There are no cookies.