Get busy extorting, or get busy doing something else. Santa seems like a primo target.
Little Johnny peps up the parang with “Santa Blackmail,” which comes across more threatening from his youthful energy. Give the Barbadian kid what he wants!
Category Archives: world music
Dependent Claus: engaging
Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus is such a mighty institution that we hardly give a thought to when he was single before.
But it’s a big world, someone has gotta pen that number.
Everybody knows “Santa Needs a Mrs. Claus” honky tonks Marjorie Michelle Rose with some suggestive wahwahs and train whistles. He’s just a man.
The Di Mara Sisters give us a behind the scenes in their paisano pop “Santa’s Italian Wife.” It’s cheesy in the tastiest way.
Soca from Brindley Benjamin travelogues the Caribbean with “Santa Looking for a Wife.” And maybe you too should shop Trinidad for your next significant other.
WHAT ELSE: Yule B Laffin
Is there enough latitude in Paganism for wee nip of humor? Even for Midwinter celebration?
Secularitarians show a glimpse of levity in Dar Williams’s rollicking folk gathering “The Christians and the Pagans.” We CAN all just get along.
Laughing at (not with) Karina Skye misses the mark with her continual pagan updating of Xmas carols with “Jingle Spells.” She’s got faboo delivery, but the parcel’s empty.
The H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society also get up in your carolophobia with “We Wish You A Scary Solstice.” Cute kid choir/creepy Cthulhu tidings.
The Motern Media Holiday Singers (aka Matt Farley) hopes we celebrate this dark dark dark dark dark dark day with his “Winter Solstice Celebration Song.” An odd number.
The jolly old world folk boys of Emerald Rose keep tongue lightly in cheek for “Santa is Pagan Too.” Irish Hee Haw.
WHAT ELSE? Yule B Mother
There’s something about Midwinter that leads to cavorting. Is it the home stretch to planting and food? Is it the astronomical alignment of Earth’s pole tipped furthest? Is it just another excuse to waggle the bum?
Not having received The Word, pagans did fine at concocting their own festivals and fun. Alban Arthan, Dongzhi, Korochun, Shalako, Ziemassvētki, and more conjured up cuddly traditions and endearing salutations for the ages. Disappointingly i’m gonna use my English lit major to stay Western Civ and not stray too far from the Europeans. But they did Paganism pretty well, you betcha.
One difference between Yule observance and Xmas is Mōdraniht, the honoring of da mama, without whose blessings (bearing our borning), we wouldn’t be here.
Pissed off Russian metal from Gartraada, “A Night of Winter Solstice” salutes the Queen of Seasons. I presume as a fellow killer.
The Goddess of Pleasure and Delight is the old timey subject of James Mosher’s “Winter Solstice Song.” I’ll drink to that.
Sacred Mother gets a more middle of the road Celtic tribute from Jan Garrett and JD Martin with the dulling “Winter Solstice Lullaby.” Yawn.
Yala Lati, a women’s global music choir, rounds up the “Winter Solstice Round” with much gravity for the grandmother.
More tribally, Leah Salomaa chants up the womb metaphor in “Solstice Song.” Primal stuff.
Wyrd Sisters blend their voices speaking tune to power with “Solstice Carole.” Lullaby and happy new year. Pretty stuff.
WHAT ELSE? Kwanzaa t’My House
Let’s unroll some serious music to celebrate 12/26-1/1. Our spiritual black roots are showing.
Lovely Hoffman has some pop soul to dance and soar to. “A Kwanzaa Song” feels like gospel. That sounds right.
Tribal gospel from The Kwanzaa Gospel Chorus: “7” is a piece of power and inspiration. Try to keep your seat.
An island beat informs “Happy Kwanzaa” from Fanoko Singers. You should be able to learn the words pretty quick, bahs.
WHAT ELSE? K-7
In the spirit of Juneteenth, the Black Power movement in the 1960s USA embarked on a holiday for the cultural values shared by those with a proud African heritage. Others can stand outside the circle and learn a little of the seven principles.
By way of introduction, a children’s chorus from Kutsal Gun intone the honorarium “O Kwanzaa.” It’s for the kids! Be ready to take notes (the song repeats because there’s so much information)!
Trying for more authenticity, Quaver Music’s “Kwanzaa Celebration” uses more drumming. Seven days, class–who wants the time off?
The African-American Mr. Rogers NGUZO SABA recites “The Kwanzaa Song” to a badass backbeat, rap with values. He’s friendly, but morally authoritative. Heed to his Herbie Hancock backdrop.
It’s All Relative, the good stuff
I started out this month looking to compare Christmas novelty songs about loving family and loathing family. I’m going to have to admit the good outweighs the bad in quantity and quality. So let’s cap off the festivities with some coolcoolcool numbers i’ll listen to more than once.
Gene Wang leads a jazz ensemble in “Christmas Means Family” that knows how to set a mood. And the mood is good.
Here’s some new age dance music. The pagan party spirit of “Christmas in Your Family’s Arms” makes me think i can dance (i can’t really). Cheryl Hillier haunts my visions of sugarplums.
Pop country leaves me feelin’ empty inside. So imagine my surprise that Stephen Day’s “Family Christmas” uplifts me. Is it the blues underlying the tempo? Is it the irreverent folk? Gotta recommend.
Luigi Scaglione (later known by his performing name “Lou Monte”) hit with ‘Bella Notte’ and ‘Darktown Strutters’ Ball’ and is even known to Christmas novelty with ‘Dominick the Donkey.’ But “Christmas at Our House” is a saucy meatball of ethnic hammery. 1960 we all wished our family was that loving and close. Joe Dolce (the ‘Shaddup You Face’ guy) covers this even more sweetly (in 1981 when racism was more funny).
EX-Mas, for who?
It’s infidelity! It’s always cheatin’, why they leave–Christmas or no. Who was it? You can tell me.
Monty Lane Allen has a follow up from his spoofin’ ‘Randolph the Reindeer’ with more honky tonk, “She Left Me for Randolph.” Oh, deer.
Barbadian Eric Lewis parangs about the whole mix-up with “She Mistake Me for Santa Claus.” How long has this been gwan on?
ReduXmas: SciFi Messiah
Due to the number of geek/nerd acquaintances in my realms, i dug into science fiction (real aficionados hate the shortened form) Christmas songs. I had hoped to represent Christmas on Mercury and each of the other planets. Note to aspiring novelteers: only the moon and Mars are taken. So i settled for TV show fan fawning. A couple cool tunes did pop up Here are some more.
Piedmont Songbag answers the question What do boy-geniuses do when it’s April and they want holiday pageantry/presents NOW? “Christmas Time Machine” licks OG rock ‘n’ roll with some Jerry Lee flare. And a happy ending, unusual for their brand of iconoclasm.
“Rocket Ship Santa” continues the nasty rockabilly with The BellRays (feat. Lisa Kekaula, Tony Fate, and Bob Vennum). Flames a bit, but some by-the-numbers.
Rolling into rocking (alt) pop, Watch Out for Rockets settles their need for feline companionship AND technical upgrades with “Kitty Robot.” Brave new world that has such clickable purchases in it.
Finally some electronica! Control Volume randos out with “Robot Santa.” Brought to you by the Something Awful guys. Warned you.
Not to be confused with Kharmakray’s “Robot Jesus,” more a testimonial about church than holiday. But Christmas gets a call out.
The ‘Chocolate Rain’ guy from Youtube, call him Tay Zonday, has a lightly veiled topical metaphor “Alien Christmas!” Who would Jesus allow in? Pop loud.
Christmas Queens bring you Jackie Beat & Katya dragging the spaceways with “Bossa Nova Christmas in Outer Space.” Yeah, it’s got that beat. And some rap form romanticals. Fruit-cakey naughtiness.
HATE Xmas.01
The holidays are the best, right? Well, not for everyone. Not every year. For any variety of rationalizations, sentiments run red to black concerning the merry and the jolly and the joy.
Some songs, then, for the angered, the frustrated, the hater.
A couple years into Youtube Premium’s pay channel original content the holiday movie ‘The Keys of Christmas’ revamped ‘Carol’ with big musical stars and a few musical numbers. “Christmas is a Bitch” is Rudy Mancuso’s Scrooge-type character complaining on a grand piano outside at night. Showtune.
REM backbeats some maundering mumblings for their “Christmas Griping.” How do you like them crabbles?
We can always count on Arrogant Worms to deliver absurd mixed messages musically. “Christmas Sucks!” is klezmer character assassination done right (although Grayson174 is a little heavy handed with the hilarious memes).