Most of human civilization began near waters. Food, drink, and eventually escape were at the opposable thumbtips. For novelty music purposes our holiday wetness mainly boards boats. It’s fun, a bit of a getaway. Unless it’s work; then it can kill ya. ‘Salso a grand metaphor. (Heavens ‘I Saw Three Ships (Come Sailing In)‘ is not about watercraft at Bethlehem–which had no seaport! Prolly the ships of the desert–camels–for the Magi.) So, just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale… or an odd song or two.
By inches, now. We begin at the launching point. Punters get a git traditional but with electronic guitars for the prettily paid “Christmas in the Harbour.” This may be home, with no intention of venturing. But it’s Irish.
Donna Lewis’s “Christmas Lights” may refer to harbor lights, or may just reflect on the seasonal ambience. Indie gymnastics.
Billy Roach offers to decorate the pier to get out the message “Come to California Santa.” Back to surf rock by way of electronic organ.
Regrettably, i am partial to a time loop. The same thing sung over and over, mantra-like, induces a transcendental state in me–like waiting for Christmas.
“I Can’t Wait for Christmas” is the entire libretto for this ’90s pop slow-build garage chant o’ happiness. King Everything makes the point stick. I mean, wow.
A bit more Nashville, Cody Trout Band also redelivers “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Listen carefully, one swinging word gets the switcheroo. Wow, wow, wow.
Expanding on our theme Vince Vance conducts cheerful children in a choir of “Can’t Wait ’till Christmas Day.” There’s a real churchy song in here (amidst all the greediness), but that redundant chorus hammers home the message. Ow.
This is such a sub-niche of micro-genre, let’s wind up with a redundant melody, but REAL SURFER VIBE. Laurie Biagini conquers the big wave (wait?) with “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Cowa-blitzen!
Throwback Day! As previously hailed, awesome Xmas parody band The ’60s Invasion takes on the Lemon Pipers’ 1967 ‘Green Tambourine’ with their “Green Christmas Tree.” My brand of hilarity with ornaments.
Kenny and Dave as The Carol Kings apply surf music to “Decoratin’ Our Tree.” No wacky wipeout jokes, no crashing wave sounds–just Christmas business. Wild.
Banging garage metal from Nothing to Envy portrays “Yeltsin the Snowman” as a scary monster. Surprized?
Record label Flying Bomb has been an outlet for punk, garage, experimental music since the ’90s. White Stripes got their toehold to success here. Now let’s dip into their phenomenal Xmas compilation from ’02. Happy Supply’s “Young Snowman Got It Bad, ‘Cause He’s So Round” puts the frozen one back on the street, in a cheerful love song.
King Automatic and Rich Deluxe jam some surf guitar into their crooning carol “Stay Drunk at Christmas.” It lends a secret agent vibe to an odd mix of Scary Father Christmas footage among the hard living Gauls and Deutsche in the ’60s. Dipsomania seems the norm, sad to say.
The Refreshments are also unparticular when they claim “I Want a New Baby for Christmas.” Guess as long as it’s not the old baby…. Rollickin’ jerry lee piano, but not exactly rock.
Slightly more picky is Bigg Robb who claims “I Want a Big Woman for Christmas.” This is a bit dull-witted, and largely spoken word (not on my blog)… but Robb tries so hard. I mean, he doesn’t even swear. Ups, my man.
The New Edition is very specific when they chant like ballad-bots “All I Want for Christmas is My Girl.” It’s cult-astir! (I suspect you shouldn’t give her to them, not with that weird theremin electronic bit.) Is “candy girl” code for something really wrong?
The Knickerbockers surf us back to the ’60s with “I Want a Girl for Christmas.” It sounds so harmless with harmony like that. Not like human trafficking at all.
Meshugga Beach Party has also cashed in on the surfer craze in the last ten years. These Bay Area bagels rock instrumentally for the most part. (I like “Go Go Golem” and visualize drag racing through the back ways of Marin County.) But we’re here to race, so please have patience with “Hot Rod Hanukkah,” the titular tune off their 2011 album. It’s slow to start. And to lap. And to finish. It takes eight nights.
Malibooz were 1960s surf rock from the East coast. they only lasted a couple years, but so did surf rock. Despite going separate ways, the boys were drawn together to compose original surfer tunes for movies in the late ’80s and early ’90s. Then surf movies became more of the zeitgeist of the ’00s: Malibooz returned. Good for them. Their Christmas album A Malibu Kind of Christmas from 1992 has unfortunate wipe-outs to the tune of ‘Rudolph’ and ‘Drummer Boy.’ Original jams like upbeat “Santa Man” and downer “Christmastide” serve them much better.
Today we’re concerned with “Santa Drives a Super Stock Dodge.” It comes across as more pretty than roaring Tom Petty, but the young harmony back ups and awkward ad lib shout outs personalize the piece. One of a kind.