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Category Archives: rockabilly

Mall World: complaints

Kids may not appreciate the whole sit and wish mall Santa scene. How far do they push?

Krismas Kookies barbershop quartet the list of travails with their “Shopping Mall Santa.” It’s like being fired for malfeasance in a monotone.

The mall under construction is but the first of the troubles for “Steamrolled Mall Santa” by Birthing Stirrups. Punk observations of an absurd corporate season-scape.

Howard Morris returns to his “Department Store Santa (After Xmas).” The same tune, the same tadpoles, but some bitter vinegar for the part-time employee (is he being accused of sex-trafficking?!). Rockabilly country.

Mall World: uninnocent

One of the biggest problems for the mall Santa is keeping up with those crazy kids. The pre-teens wanna be smokin’ and drinkin’, the single digits wanna be too cool for yule, and the toddlers wanna be Kim Jong-Un. Where’s the youthful purity?

Sean Madigan’s “Mall Santa” has gun-toting, broken-family psychos to whisper in his ear with this easy-going rock bopper.

Howard Morris’s “Department Store Santa (Before Xmas)” has to grow up fast in this rockabilly spoken-word comedy 1960 classic.

Look at Lights

Decorating with lights can be as much fun as cleaning the house, but when it’s time to bask in Christmas wonderment near the top of the list of fun is wandering about to look at all the pretty twinklies. Even not on drugs.

(However, if you are so bent, perhaps The Smoking Trees’ “The Psychedelic Lights of Christmas” might be up your mainline. Whoa.)

The Symmetrics punch the pop (seriously, the plosives are seismic) with “Light It Up.” It’s that moment when the whole thing is turned on. (Mistletoe included, wink.)

Kidsongs ruin the imagination when they rely on familiar tunes (is it a parody? are there so few melodies? built-in sway-alongs?), but “Little Light” by Bobs & Lolo might reach above that low bar using ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ as a stepping stone. ‘Sup to you.

K C Kookaburra (The Swinging Kookaburra) admits that driving around or walking around “Look at Christmas Lights” is a happy time. Australian pop.

Brad Dison is just driving around looking at “Christmas Lights.” This dad band rockabilly nails our sentiment, coolly joyful.

Born this Day, twenty-six (Lamb, Lion, Lord)

Dance off! Beedays are excellent excuses to party hearty. How could you not–for Jesus.

“Christmas Party!” is just what i’m talkin’ ’bout. Orange Kids’ Music rock the Christian message with repetitive empty words (make the loudest noise you’ve ever made). But the X-kids have a raucous anthem, at least.

2014’s Evil Wiener’s Christmas Album drops a number to trip the light fantastico with “All Around the World (Happy Birthday Jesus)” in which a certain godhead gets a special shout out from Santa Claus flying by. ‘Billy pop.

Merry Criminals! lawyers

You have a right to representation against Santa, or anyone else.

Lawrence Savell fronts The Law Tunes to wonderfully amusing effect over several holiday albums. Here’s a commercial sampling from Season’s Briefings. Pick it up for your legal eagle holiday needs for next year.

Also Hutson & Harris parody carols as free wisdom for potential clients to comic effect with videos like “Texas Lawyers Singing Some Holiday Advice.”

It’s beyond HR when Santa bumps the wrong way at the Christmas party. “Vixen’s Talking to a Lawyer” is rockabilly-lite with country charm from J.P. Davis.

Merry Criminals! court BLUE ALERT

Christmas Day may be a time of peace, but not peace officers so much.

While “The Court’s Closed on Christmas” has more to do with The Eradicator’s need to play squash, i like how the obscenity makes it blur into a more urgent urban need for justice. At Xmas.

Sky Saxon does not want to spend “Christmas in the Courtroom.” Bluesy mushmouthed ‘billy brings conscience to the fore, just like it should.

Merry Criminals! reckless discharge of a firearm

Out of fireworks for the holidays?! Load up the Official Daisy Red Ryder Range Model 1938 Air Rifle BB Gun and blast in the Lord!

Angry Johnny and the Killbillies go ’round the neighborhoods “Shootin’ Snowmen” as a Christmas tradition. A little C4 for a carrot nose and voila!

Merry Criminals! grand theft auto

Some forms of theft get their own genre. Well, maybe not grand theft sleigh…

Or–? “Santa Took My Car” is the island-themed pop from Duck Logic Comedy about what a bro’ does with borrowed posessions.

Scott Campbell goes for a flying joyride in the pop’billy “Christmas Crime.” What a ride.

Xmas Tech Support: phonograph

Still not to the 20th C with the advent of the gramophone and the oppo to hear full orchestration in the parlour at home whenever you feel like it.

The 1920s made the recorded platters more available with all that easy money of the Jazz Age. 1922 drops Edward Hare with “Santa Claus Hides in the Phonograph” a speech to amaze the wee ones. More of a song (mad rhymes anyway) from Harry E. Humphrey with “Santa Claus in Your Phonograph.” Both of these overlong demos end with actual music (Hare’s with ‘JBells’; Humphrey’s with a lively musicbox tinklefest–and mad laughter).

The Mangles deliver a “Turntable Under the Tree” with a punk ‘billy rock collection for all your audiophile needs. I’m goin’ ’round and ’round, too, catchin’ up with their twistin’ list of playables.

ReduXmas: You Auto Have a Merry Christmas

I knew of some odd Xmas songs concerning automobiles and one thing lead to another. For all the roadster rock, however, there were as many trucker numbers about helping out delivering presents. And also some inbetween the category bits. What else is on the back lot?

How could i forget Lindsey Buckingham’s overtired “Holiday Road” from that one movie that time? That’s right, it’s NOT about Christmas! Not even when The Stone Lonesomes put in on a Christmas album with all the ‘billy you could ever want.

2 Live Jews parody ‘Frosty’ with “All Used Car Salesmen.” Funny, but no mention of holidays.

“Toboggan Boys” from Steven Courtney is not tired, but has a Beach Boys tribute that won’t quit. They’re movin’!

Farmer Jason digs deep into country pop with “Santa Drove a Big John Deere.” How’d i miss this cornpone?

“Christmas in My Car” reroutes the topic to the suffering of the homeless via Do You Hear What I Hear (feat. No Kisses for New Years). Conscientious rock.

From the blues side, Matt Roach starts with Christmas in my car for “Christmas Blues ’95.” He gets around, but he’s not happy.

Bryan Kennedy is more down home with the plonkity-plonk in “Santa Drove a Dually.” The fiddle sells it. Cody Romshok goes electric with this.

Molly Starlite & The Sputniks saunters through “Hot Rod Christmas” without the need for speed. Slo-mo ‘billy.

Roadster rock should sound like Slant 6 and the Jumpstarts. Or is “HotRod Christmas” just a bit too familiar?

JD McPherson parallels without pause in “Santa’s got a Mean Machine.” Jolly jazzy big band ‘billy. Go go go. Gone.

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