Molly Starlite & The Sputniks features a ’50 Merc in their “Hot Rod Christmas.” Wassa mileage on that (when gas was 27¢ a gallon!)? For rockabilly this is a bit slow and tame, but those were the days, eh? Winkedy wink.

And a little more…

Run D.M.C. gets a mill in cash from Santa’s wallet in “Christmas in Hollis.” And that’s what Christmas is all about.

A million gold bars is one of “All I Want for Christmas” from LZTraps, mediocre rap about worth.

Simple Plan wants a million gifts, it’s right there on “My Christmas List.” Driving rock/pop.

So, Santa’s got those million gifts, via “Father Christmas is Coming” from BiiJ. Tweaking children’s music.

Liz Thresher equates your pleasant company over the holidays with “A Million Dollar Christmas.” Syncopated R+B that doesn’t flirt all that hard.

Greed leads to excess. So “A Million Dollars for Christmas,” a sassy rockabilly antic from The Andersons!, doesn’t seem all that surprising. Count how many times they sing the title! Repetitive!!

Sometimes a reindeer isn’t a reindeer. It might be an unshakable symbol of power/unknowable tool of legend. Or, i dunno, maybe a bank loan gone wrong.

You Are Something True explores childhood trauma with “Reindeer on the Roof,” a sensitive pop Rosarch test. I see– an angry father.

“Broken Reindeer” is mystical altpop from Jambones about–perhaps–climate change (??). Definitely a lively bummer.

“November Reindeer” might tell you about a night when you’re too ill to go out. Or hoping for snow. It’s a King Thing may not even know their message, just good ol’ garage rock.

House of Large Sizes also keeps it close to the garage with “Twelve Angry Reindeer,” a miscommunication misadventure set of notes.

Oso Oso’s “Reindeer Games” looks at the ups and downs of an uncertain relationship. Whiny love pop.

Lounge fun from M.D.C. (Millions of Dead Cops) poeticize the end of the world with “Acid Reindeer.” Uh oh.

Final words from Flooded Cellar with the rockabilly road rock “400 Reindeer Under the Hood.” Pedal to the metaphor, gang! Whooo!

Caribou crisscrossing the horizon… how am i NOT going to shoot at that?

Let’s establish the temptation with the oddly compelling “Three Blind Reindeer” by Nooshi. Not the cute kidsong it’s meant to be. This just raises the bloodlust.

Hokey pokey country dance music from The North Polio introduces “Reindeer Hunting Season.” Set ’em up, Bubba.

“We Hit the Reindeers” is another way to go. The Non Traditionals garage jazz band the philosophy of hit and run.

Shooting stars?! Shooting reindeer! “Imo Shoot Me a Reindeer” is the rockabilly we were meant to hear. Clydesdale roars through the joint with aplomb.

Ten… Nine… Ready… Set… On Your Mark… One For the Money… Here… We…

Walter Giblin’s kid-country fun “Good Old Santa’s Reindeer Roundup” details the chase, catch, and preparation of those North Pole runners. A bit circular, but so are some fine rides.

Mary Kaye has already told us about “Santa’s Roundup” with cutie-pie fiddling’. ‘Member?

Maniac Clown’s “Reindeer” is the acid-dropped experimental parody that some people dismiss as ‘Awful.’ It is.

Brady Rymer and The Little Band That Could big band/rockabilly the warm up with “Revvin’ Up the Reindeer.” You feel it as well as hear it.

How much fun can we have with the Rudolph legend?

Even kidsong can get off the mainstream. “Rudolph and the Snowman” is awesome folk Q&A from KidsTV123. Love it.

FuMP’s Phil Johnson & The Roadside Attraction curse out a metal revenge story in “Rudolph the Blood-Soaked Reindeer.” More curious than comical.

Kelly Nolf & Wyndi Harp use the moral here to tell “Rudolph Knows,” a country swinger of life lesson-ology.

Also into the figurative, Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers decry a horrid first rendezvous sporting a big pimple on the nose as if “On a Date as Rudolph.” Rocking polka.

“They Shined Up Rudolph’s Nose” gets more play than most of our novelties, but Johnny Horton brings just the right level of country rock to this number.

Some wild rockabilly elevated “Rudolph’s Ruin” beyond the drunkeness of the last post to victimhood. The Wildebeests deliver.

Vixen is the unfortunate name of the bunch. Some nasty connotations lead us where we don’t wanna go.

For example, Santa’s Angry Elves hard rock “Trump Grabbed Vixen by the Pussy.” Santa and Clinton are also named in this MeToo activated harassment complaint.

As a follow-up “Vixen’s Talkin’ to a Lawyer (And Santa’s at the Package Store).” J.P. Davis uses rockabilly to make her case. No objections here.

Can’t stop the music! Can’t stop the Xmas spirit from coming back on me, like nachos!

Drawling country pop from Anna Bergendahl reaches for the spurs in “Just Another Christmas.” She’s just watching from the sidelines. But she’s got an eye on you, ya ol’ cayuse.

Synth harmony pop like you hear during the parties of twenty-somethings in the back of CW adventure shows, Make Like Monkeys romanticize “Another Holiday” with room for more mood. My eyes are rolling… up in ecstasy.

Luke Ryder has an annoyingly synthed pop party number in “Just Another Christmas.” The electro-timpani overshadows any sense it might’ve made. Dance!!!

Rockabilly to the rescue–Lew Lewis struts the blues into a watchable routine with “Just Another Day to Me.” Go, candy canes, go!

When is another Christmas NOT another Christmas? When there’s no love, hope, meaning…. Buckle up, buck-o.

Ernest Tubb country waltzes “Christmas is Just Another Day” as if he weren’t falling to pieces. Poor guy.

Geneva Renee’s “Christmas is Just Another Day” is the soul treatment of the tortured soul. He’s gone, gone away, no longer here–get the picture?

Johnny Dowd gets experimental with his rockabilly in his “Christmas is Just Another Day.” But missing mommy has never been so weird. Nothing just about it.

This concept of joyous noel emptied of meaning in a cold, lonely house just won’t quit. It goes on and on. So does the music.

Preempting the problem, The Ready Set pop the seltzer out of “I Don’t Wanna Spend Another Christmas Without You.” Childish, but het up.

En español, Loona wills her sorrow over the annoying galloping of synthetic strings in “Another Christmas Without You.” My head AND my heart now hurt!

In cockney, Prozzak smirks that “It’s Just Another Christmas Without You.” Spoken pop, but with Anglo-charm.

Nsync snaps and pops (like bubblegum) throughout the smarmy pop of “I Don’t Wanna Spend One More Christmas Without You.” Next!

Orianthi & Cyril Niccolai moan over “Another Christmas Without You.” Glorious harmony here makes the pathos worse. Pop music ow!

Bobby Helms oldschools the countrywestern genre with “Another Christmas Without You.” How can we face it??? Mother, make it stop!

The Epileptic Hillbillys rockabilly “Another Christmas Without You” with Western insistence. I do believe ’em, i do, i do!