Category Archives: rock

Presents of Mine: where credit is due

All that shopping! Are there any consequences?

Doctor Kitty bemoans the bills due after “Black Friday (Credit Cards Love Christmas).” Not sure they’re serious. Maybe it’s the lugubrious folk moaning.

Bob Wire with Chip Whitson want to celebrate the buying season with a rockabilly “Credit Card Christmas.” Fun with dads!

Prog rock from Natalie Pfeiffer  seems to be some home grown talent from a decade or two ago. Still “Credit Card Christmas” has few regrets, so don’t worry, be hapless.

Just as retro comes Scottland with “Credit Card Christmas (It’s Gonna be).” This ’60s soft rocker invites us to singalong to bitch.

Treermendous Holiday Fun: What the Ficus?!

I’m coming around to the idea that some of these Christmas Tree entitled songs are jumping on the log truck bandwagon and have nothing to do with celebrating the holidays after all.

Or i can’t tell what the sap they’re talking about.

But i like the songs.

Mattie D’s “Christmas Tree” overwhelms us with percussive urgency.

Mike Red & Rai P sample off the ‘Home Alone’ movies. “Christmas Trees” lays the angry rhymes down. BLUE ALERT

Word jazz accompanied by experimental jazz (it almost tells a story…) “Black Christmas Tree” somehow from Midget Handjob. Enter at your own risk.

“Christmas Tree” from Romantic Beats may be trying to trick us, but the angelic distortion of pop music lulls me to confused submission. Ahhh.

Thinking about what passes for reality, Love Tractor claims “I’m Not Afraid of a Christmas Tree.” Latin psychedelia, so: hunh?

Under the Bodhi Tree torture their “Pink Christmas Tree” with grinding club rock. But what in the dickens is it?

Does anyone sing along with metal? Twitch’s “Christmas Tree” has an angry punk message (i think) but mostly keeps time (to me). You try it.

Ditto for amped punk. EXTREME BLUE ALERT “Christmas Tree Farms” by way of Snag spews vitriol, and i guess some December framework.

180! Light gentle jazz pop from The Pearlfishers intoning some Rod McKuen-style poetic sloppiness with “A Christmas Tree in a Hurricane.” Like a musical intro for a ’80s sitcom.

Also tender, Borderline Beauty (which seems to associate the growth with peace) cries out for “Christmas Tree Without an Oh.” Folk rock on a mission to change the world through poetry.

Guy Capecelatro III has a concept album (Abandoned Christmas Trees) about existential angst which ticks off the Christmas boxes. “Chainsaw” is a folk charmer about failures. “Tinsel” bemoans our futility with experimental rock. Now go take drugs.

I even looked up the lyrics for “Barcarola (You Must be a Christmas Tree),” but it stumps me yet. Sufjan Stevens is the troubadour of trial and error.

Fun rock from Women’s Christmas who regale us with “Pissing in the Trees.” Not Christmas, p’raps, but a party song of enormous proportions.

Cardinal tells a song of hopeful love in “If You Still Believe in Christmas Trees.” Symphonic ’70s rock. No trees are discussed.

Underground blues from the UK, the chatty The Sensational Alex Harvey Band detail the crime spree gone bad in “There’s No Lights on the Christmas Tree Mama, they’re Burning Big  Louie Tonight.” I get the story, more than in The Stagger Rats cover, but why o why the tree?!

When the lyrics talk about losing all friends, i think i know the category for the song, but Vengaboys are so party-strange with Uncle John dying and reggae-disco beats… i give up. “Where did My Christmas Tree Go?” is for you to figure out.

Short and sweet Laura Watling’s “Christmas Trees in July” pop tinkles across the dance floor.

Jumping Through Fiery Hoops also coopts our topic oddly. “Working on a Christmas Tree Farm” is psychedelia with a folk bent and flashfast imagery to corrupt your status quo. Whoa.

I’ve listened to “Christmas Tree” by Bewitched Hands on Top of Our Heads several times and i know it’s about something, but i don’t care. Chorale rock. Art qua art, dudes.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: TIMBERRR!!

Now that we’ve had our fill, how do we go about defoliating the Christmas scene?

Sandy n Steve don’t see eye to eye on the majestic pine in their house. Sandy says yea! Steve says “I’m Taking Down the Christmas Tree Now!” Show tune without much exclamation point.

Simply knock it over? Drew Carey’s ‘Whose Line is It Anyway?’ take the Irish Drinking song bit to the “Knocked Over the Christmas Tree” arena. Improv… it’s funny ‘cuz… elephant pants!

It could be an untimely accident, too. “Santa Knocked over the Christmas Tree” is that wordy Roger Miller country that we need more of from David Norris. Presents and a show!

“Tipping over the Christmas Tree” is the jazz swing we need to capture our mood: drunkenness and ennui. Big ups to Beatnik Turtle for the perfect sound for AFTER the season.

Small arms play a part in the un-decorating of John Flynn’s Christmas tree from the “Christmas Balls.” Growling folk that rocks.

Drinking and Christmas trees also spell doom for “Christmas Balls” according to Holy Moly. Punk ‘billy.

Give the kids a turn! Tommy Mulaney’s kids keep “Breaking Christmas Balls.” Oh, wait, this jazzy pop blues is about what a pain those needy offspring are… Ballbreakers!

Assemble the conga line! Carter Conlin and some church kids investigate “Who Put Their Finger Through the Ornament?” with Cuban orchestrated kidsong. (Fret not, Jesus saves the day.)

Farting all the ornaments off is the job of Stinky Ninja against “Three Stinky Christmas Trees.” This cockney toddler nails the kidsong without self indulgent whimsey.

Hey, that gas is flammable. “Burn Down the Christmas Tree” is a pyro’s prize for the holidays. Slick country fun from Abbie Gardner. And she means it.

Even more fun is the polka rock from Piedmont Songbag “Burning the Christmas Tree.” It’s like druidic partying married to Christian solemnity. Hey!

Hey this is easy when the “Christmas Tree’s on Fire.” Holly Golightly uses experimental folk to bring down the house.

Tom Heinl celebrates while trying to put out “The Christmas Tree on Fire” (with a tube sock). Comedy country with one of those tiny toy pianos–segue to church organ & sirens. Good song.

The Lickity-Splits mean love when they screech “You Set My Christmas Tree on Fire.” Raging garage classic rock.

Cledus T. Judd cashes in on his parody “Tree’s on Fire.” It’s no ‘Ring of Fire,’ it’s funnier.

Cowboy saga music accompanies the legend of Chaston and Groditski’s “We Burned the Christmas Tree.” It’s like a family tradition on acid.

Here’s a good time to have The Toilet Bowl Cleaners “Pee on the Christmas Tree” again.

An original, but disturbing method of de-treeing the house comes by way of calliope music from Nicci & The Project. “Santa was Eating the Christmas Tree” turns out to be a dream after all. (Still need therapy.)

How do Christmas trees leave? One children’s song imagines the “Christmas Tree Tango” as an exiting number. Pretty, and pretty messed up.

So now IT’S GONE! Little Willie John and the Three Lads and a Lass bemoan the empty spot from 1953 with “Mommy, What Happened to Our Christmas Tree?” (It was the commies, Will.)

TreeMendous Holiday fun: This is What I Plant, What I Really Really Plant

Yeah, yeah yeah. You want presents under the tree. Could you be more specific?

Inca Jones (as i’ve blogged) gets melted with he finds “LSD Under My Christmas Tree.” Don’t expect coherence from this electronica.

Here’s something you may not want: Beefus plays the blues (isn’t that trombone funny?) on “STDs Under the Christmas Tree.” They’re waiting for you.

Specifically, Brysi the Machinima Guy wants “Master Chief Under My Christmas Tree.” Pop culture begets fanfic and filksinging and other vaguely naughty-sounding made up words.The videogame  Halo‘s protagonist has give unto us this folk number. Get on it.

Bad Detectives ask for a “Cadillac Under My Christmas Tree.” ‘Billy + blues = finger snapping heaven.

Silent Stranger hard rocks (of course) “Guitar Beneath the Tree.” A tender tale of youth and obsessive thrashing.

Even better, John Jorgenson and Carlene Carter rock out a letter to Santa and the resulting “A ’55 Telecaster Under My Christmas Tree.” Okay, country rock, but still burning up the tinsel.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Sequoia Claus

Tree up? How else will Santa know where to direct the presents? Xmas tree marks the spot, little dudes!

This is such an essential concept it’s in every language! Well, at least two. Humberto Almaraz (with the kids) bi-lings the corrido “Santa will Love My Christmas Tree.” I guess that’s happy?

Gentle jazz-grass from Rough Shop catches “The Big Man Under the Tree” in the act. But–is that Santa? You might wanna get some ID, kid.

The Oak Ridge Boys sing about the boy waiting “Beneath the Christmas Tree” for Santa. But, in their own country/western way, it’s really Jesus. Sorry for the spoiler.

Keith Whittal and Friends also aim our attention “All Around the Christmas Tree” to spot the toy bringer. Stay awake, kids! Country pickin’.

Riddim from Kool: “My Christmas Tree” is to Santa like ganja to a Bob Marley fan. Dance off!

Just for chuckles Calvin Bremer parodies ‘The Hanging Tree’ from the Mockingjay movies with “The Christmas Tree“… waiting… waiting… waiting for Santa. Ha!

1959: Marguerite Trina shakes it down with the bluesy R+B rock of “The Rocking Tree,” beseeching that fat man for just the right greenery, daddi-o.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: pop 6

Party on, snowdude. For all people.

Leaning on Frosty a bit hard Monika Herzig polishes up some freestyle jazz for “Ballad for a Snowman.” Cool.

Blinded wants “Dear Mr. Snowman” to come in and dance. It’s a come on–he wants a friend. Folk fusion fun.

The Teds more reliably warn “Hey Snowman” don’t come inside. Slight pop.

Cameron Blake sings “Fireman Snowman” as an entry in the coffeeshop poetry finals. Folk dada.

Pierre Komin has a zydeco take for “Charlie was a Snowman.” It’s a love song.

Po’ folk in the South need snowmen, too. “Dirty Little Snowman” is warbling country from Catherine Irwin what might break yo heart.

Seemingly praying to the great “Mr. Snowman.” Thomas Wall Band asks, in an experimentally folk way, for it to snow. It’s to make the children happy, but… cause? effect? hunh?

John Prine’s got this. In his own style of country folk he reaveals “Humidity Built the Snowman.” It’s not a jolly jubilee, though. is it?

Soulful blues/country from Dragon Rock (feat. Ray Sharp) mashes up ‘Wizard of Oz’ with our flurried friend in the heartbreaking “I’m a Snowman.” Help him, Wizard!

Pickin’ and shiverin’, PigPen Theater Co. delineates “The Snowman’s Song” as one more snowball on the pile. Fine folk.

Cornball country from Hank Thompson in “Mr. & Mrs. Snowman.” But they have separate snow banks.

Chuck E. Cheese is not known for their hit songs, but i like this country thrasher from robodog Jasper. “Jasper’s Snowman” thus rises from the children’s clutter and is anointed proper pop from your chilly host. Rock it, J-Dog!

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: kids 6

Dance Time!

We’ve previously been entertained by the Crew Cuts’ “Dance Mr. Snowman Dance.” And “Do the Snowman” by The Holleytones. They bear redux.

Let’s also admit to Randy Sauer’s valiant effort “Snowman Dance.” Electronic almost music.

Definitely let’s include Mahri Sherlock’s barnburner “Mr. Snowman Dance.” Fun for kids and other square dancers.

“Snowman Jump” is a regrettable standard for the toddlers. I like the ’70s near-disco edition here.

Teresa Jennings keeps it kiddie with her Plank Road Publishing’s “Rock ‘n’ Roll Snowman.” Good for intermediate school assemblies afraid of saying Merry Christmas everywhere.

Snow Way: no where

Some locales are hemispherically challenged and can only see Xmas snow on Turner Classic Movies or Lifetime Channel. Does that make you sing? Does it?

Branded Duo have a nice country irony in “White Christmasses in Houston.” No snow. Nice swing.

Boogie Woogie zydeco from Allen Toussaint, “The Day It Snows on Christmas” posits the sad impossibility of a White Loozey-Anna Christmas.

Bombadil is more alt pop with “No Snow in the Valley.” Less Christmas, more message.

“No Snow for Christmas” is Tracey Jane Smith’s Xmas card for family from her hellish hole in Florida. They have it rough playing in the pool, and watch out for the last couple minutes of home movies. Roy Peter Clark also pisses and moans about “Christmas Without Snow” in Florida. He does sing slightly better than the Smith children. Piano bar.

“The Tropical Christmas (No Snow? It Doesn’t Bother Me)” is old Brit music hall rock and while it doesn’t get destination specific, makes the point party-ifically.

Nā Hoa ship us to more tropics with “Christmas Without Snow.” Hawaiian yodeling.

Electronica reggae! Billy Paul Williams raises the truth with “No Snow in Jamaica.” Testify!

Is this political? “No Snow in Africa This Christmas” from Puddock Stew is unplugged protest folkrock.

Mr. O gets gnarly with “Christmas in Hong Kong.” No snow is part of the angst he rocks off his chest.

Snow Way: flakes sr.

I’m not saying snowflakes mean love for the adults. But they are…

Bryant Oden has some synthy pop in his “Snowflake Kisses.” Young love is so fast!

Jason Chen is more puppy dog breathy with his “Snowflake.” Earnest pop love song. She could do better.

Slow it down with a lonely guy (and his guitar) in a dark room. Playful, almost Hawaiian, folk from Ernest Mistica in “Snowflake.” ‘Nother hour of practice and we’ll have something.

Laid back bouncy bluegrass from Pickin’ On in the form of “Trailer Trash (feat. Iron Horse)” mentions snowflakes, so here’s Sasha Armani jockin’ and syncin’ with his “Snowflake Song.” Fun. We may be a tad off topic.

Simo Dacanay rotates us back to the holidays with “Snowflake,” another power pop pouter about you, baby.

Amp it up with Amber Sky Records (feat. Adam Courtney) tearing up party rock with their “Snowflake Song.” The harder the backbeat, the deeper the love.

 

Let’s round up with ’66 country rock: funny, but also musical! Jim Reeves sings “Snowflake” to his sweetie ‘cuz he met her when it was cold (‘though i think she’s never warmed to him).

Parodies’ Paradise: 2014 “All About that Bass”

Meghan Trainor’s hit off her debut album became a strong candidate for “Song of the Summer”… in a negative review, Time named “All About That Bass” as the fifth worst song of the year… with 16 weeks in total it holds the record for total most weeks in number one at the Slovenian official singles charts SloTop50… received Grammy Award nominations for Record of the Year and Song of the Year… spent eight weeks atop the US Billboard Hot 100… topped the charts in 20 other countries, including Canada, New Zealand, Switzerland and the United Kingdom… sold 11 million units worldwide… the third best-selling song of 2014 and one of the best-selling singles of all time.

Girls of Suburbia honor Santa’s size in their parody of no clever name.

Streator High School love/hate Santa’s girth with “All About that Waist.” Kids today!

Jennifer Rose gets a bit more lascivious with the chubby chasing in “I Love My Santa Claus,” shimmying and gyrating like this is a ‘Santa Baby’ parody. (Hang on, a plate of burger and fries for Santa?!)

LindZ Owen plays sultry to Santa as well to get “On the Nice List.” Nice hair brush vocals.

shayshaymb approaches Santa from another side with “All About that Beard.” Is that all that saint is to you?

Richard Peachey dips shallowly for “All About that Base” honoring the Christmas tree stand. Mmmm–maybe.

Nisah (for Mig Me) changes the subject with “All About the Feast.” You know it’s a feast when there’s pasta, and rice, and fries.

curveball111 throws the food topic into another court with “I Wanna Stuff My Face” full of latkes. Oi, oil.

Mission Church Ventura make the best of their talent pool with their secular crit and religious twist: “All About that Baby.”

Faith Promise Church likes presents and trees as much as the baby king with “All About that Bass – Christmas Remix.” Bass here is the low sound of that pop guitar playing (i guess).

Allegra DelRossi (and family) feature Jesus in “All About that Babe,” a Christmas song that piggybacks on religion.

Vapid blond devotees shake it for “All About the Christ” starring Heather Krol. That million mile stare creeps the bajeepers outta me, though.

Notching the cross up a bit AJ Sheffield go high with “All About the Christ” apparently recorded on a flip phone, but skitted out by frolicsome teen believers. (Why does Mary have a knitted beard?)

Aubrey Howell gets the idea of parody with “All About that List.” I like it because it’s heartfelt fun.