Category Archives: R&B

And a Party in a Pear Tree: OTHER guests? BLUE ALERT

It takes two to tango, and maybe only two to make a warm Xmas party.

R Kelly wants ‘everyone around,’ but the R+B cool here is reserved for his baby. “Christmas Party” is full of orgasmic moaning.

Savanna Cole fronts Going Spaceward with a fun folk pop story of a possible meet cute at “The Christmas Party Song.” Aww, love. Call Hallmark! (But skip the post-song breakdown.)

Take a trip with me to Poke Music to hear Jessica Banks vamping up “Get This Christmas Party On.” Short, sultry, jazzy, seductive: worth it.

“Christmas Party” for Blowfly is all naughty. Disco Motown is non-stop profanity, but it comes to a satisfying end. Santa B Nastee.

And a Party in a Pear Tree: steps

Christmas party lull? Dance time, Mother Father!

Instructing us to sing and dance (Conga!), Harry Mercer gets pop with the soul in “The Christmas Party Song.” Celebrate in 5/8.

3LW (feat. Treach) pulse with their electronic dance R+B “Christmas Party.” Get off the wall, get on the floor….

And a Party in a Pear Tree: set it

Deck those halls! Bunting! Tinsel!

Ke’Andra orders the playlist and anticipates the dance needs of all her hanger-ons with R+B rap “Christmas Party.” Heeey!

“A Very Good Christmas Party” is one of those winners of awful Christmas music contests. But The Gator Family do detail the details of what’s on the walls. (And what she’s wearing too, you dog.)

Eddie Floyd is soul mellow with his R+B “Christmas Party.” He’s a slow partyer, ladies. It’s all in the forethought to set the mood.

Dependent Claus: metaphor

Mrs. Claus is such an institution she’s a symbol for the capable woman. Well, she should be that and not some taken-for-granted chained-to-the-kitchen housefrau.

The Brit indie rock band Swim Deep spawned the group Ginger and the odder than pop “Don’t Shave for Me Mrs. Claus” in which the transgender decide how to present using the original woman in the shadows.

The Travis Waltons alt garage the weirdness of “Mrs Claus” comparing her to the girlfriend, who makes him feel cold but Christmassy. And he’s sick of you. What?!

“I Wanna be Mrs. Claus” is some cry for help from daddy issues or something. Starlet Knight is dedicated to the cause, but swings it cool.

Lil Jackie’s funk fueled ‘9 to 5’ tribute claims she’s as good as “Mrs. Claus.” She can damwell sing circles around her, that’s for sure. Here here.

WHAT ELSE? Yes We Kwanzaa

People of color outside the lines broaden our culture beyond the confines of the just fine. Let’s explore where happenin’ ‘other’ holiday music may lead.

Kidsong is elevated by Ama Chandra whose “Harambee” is a soft jazz hug of a song emphasizing but one of Kwanzaa’s exceptional principles.

Gorgeous gospel from Sweet Honey in the Rock blends seven powerful female voices into one harmony: “Seven Principles.” This is the best way to learn the foreign terms so you’ll know what you’re talking about. (Shivers!)

Bop Alloy (feat. Substantial & Marcus D) jazzily Motown raps “A Celebration.” The holiday by way of hard life.

Djoser Pharoah (aka William Scott) soul soars over folk rock with “The Kwanzaa Song.” No, i can dance to it. Come over and watch me.

Teddy Pendergrass’s “Happy Kwanzaa” is full on R+B love. This time we start with the music.

EX-Mas, messed up BLUE ALERT

Up. Down. Over it. Hating it. What was I saying? The breakup? You? Xmas?

“The Worst Christmas Song Ever” features Johnny Polygon’s mantra to deal with the heartlessness you done him. Those words are a BLUE ALERT, but they don’t work anyway.

Ex-Mas, denial

Call off the holidays! I’m miserable! We’re apart! No joy! No Jesus! Can’t be!

Big Sister comes back with “Christmas in July” the metaphor of topsy turvitude for the breakup. Get it?

Erasure insists he’ll be your “Loving Man” even though you said goodbye. Easy, man, there’s more lutefisk on the holiday smorgasbord.

Light rock from Jim Croce posits “It Doesn’t Have to be That Way.” You could be here. With me. For Christmas. Tonight. He’s coming over NOW!

The O’Jays shaboop the problem with “Christmas Just Ain’t Christmas Without the One You Love.” Motown, mo’ mopey.

EX-Mas, how dare you BLUE ALERT

What did you just say to me? You think you can do better? On Christmas!

Rancid fronts to their mates about “X-Mas Eve (She Got Up and Left Me).” The punk shouting represents the pain.

BLUE ALERT for the troof from Hannah Monds R+Bing “Ex-Mas.” You are off her list now.

ReduXmas: Jeeze!

With all the great music out there for our holiday’s founder (CFO: Santa, natch), i attempted to collate honorariums with ironies about that baby. Great songs are harder to find. So let’s party like we don’t believe!

First off, “Jesus Christ! It’s Your Birthday Again” reminds Wendell Ferguson with comic country timing. But who’s counting?

“Jesus the Reindeer” by Emmy the Great and Tim Wheeler plays havoc with myth-understanding the reason for the trees and candy. Fun alt.

Kids say the darnedest things. The Creek Church out of nowhere Kentucky took what kids said and made a soul-filled noel to Jesus with “I’ve Seen a Turtle Barf.” You gotta. Just look.

And Ages lectures us that Jesus is the “Reason for the Season (You Dig?)” with their garage folk. Otherwise, it’d be Bhudda-mas or Mohammed-mas. Yeah. Not so, like, holy.

Steven Courtney, as JC, allows “Jesus is the Star” and asks for a candy bar. Crazy R+B pop.

Smoky country from Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains proclaims “The Ballad of Baby Jesus,” like he’s a cowboy or sumpin.

Celebrationally, Holidelic funk up the partay with “Nativitay.” Take notes, the whole, cool deal is dealt with.

Reverentially, American Mars pop folks “The Little Baby Jesus” with just the right amount of woo woo country train sounds ushering in the new born.

Best of parody: The Withers land their song about the highway to the “Manger Zone,” a tease of Kenny Loggins’s 1986 ‘Top Gun’ hit song. With guitar solo. And sass.

Oddest is Barnes and Barnes Sunday schooling “Jesus is Groovy.” Full of faux pas (‘never cross…’ ‘get behind me and help me sing this song…’ ‘he really turns me on…’).

I also enfolded the fam for the whole birthing scene. “Proud Mary” by Watkins and the Rapiers wonders what Mary’s take on the whole Advent was. Not a Tina Turner parody. Well, not actually. Kind of.

Riding Reindeer (BLUE ALERT)

The holiday intercourse may be announced as fact. Surrender to the male imperative.

Poetically, Greg & Brian mix metaphors in the inuendo laden “Yule Log.” It’s down and dirty, but with a medieval dancing beat.

FunnyMike freestyles his “Merry Christmas” about what he’s going to do to specific body parts on you. There’s a rhythm method.

Will Nunziata (feat. Amy Fitts) embodies the Disney princess (cable sitcom verzh) who must have the sex in “Jingle Jingle: A Dirty Christmas Song.” Santa raps countrapoint to her pop lollying.

Reggie Watts levels with all y’all that “Christmas is for Fucking.” Sensual R+B rap. Get it on.