Year-round Yuletide oddities
Some folks do not feel the generous cheer of Christmas for they have-not. Po’ folks get skipped.
DJ Wizz cusses and elctro-raps “No Christmas” No Holiday ‘cuz you ain’t got the money it takes. Hippity hop down the money trail….
Power punk pops out of Vice Squad in their social-working “Christmas has been Cancelled.” It’s a party of pooping. (Blue Alert)
Mad? Mad enough to boot Christmas?? Let ‘er rip!
Smosh brings the comedy with pop bebop in “So Frickin’ Tired of Christmas.” Guys, they’re so mad–they want Christmas to be DEAD….
Mary’s Kids bring Scandinavian doom and gloom to their punk dust-up “No Christmas This Year.” It’s like a slap fight with Death.
What about those spoil sports who just don’t want anything for Christmas? Don’t let them get away with that! But, listen a spell.
Pissing and moaning, Matt Stratton tickles the strings for a country sounding set of blues in “Empty Christmas.” Sucks to be… hell, everything just sucks.
Eric and Sari abstain from all the frippery including presents and prefer just to chestnuts and chill. With each other. “This Year I Don’t Want Anything for Christmas” is garage pop fun for grammas everywhere.
Canadian-American emo-boy new wave from The Classic Brown mopes about the pointlessness of a list in “Walmartiana.” Wah, wah, be-shoop de-doo.
Also despairing musically Futureman gives up on asking in the alt-folk “Better Christmas.” (P.S. That’s ironic: nothing will ever be better.) Sigh. La la la.
Let’s just say it: “Nothing for Me.” Jazzy punk from The Muffs cops to the big zero for Christmas. And… you’re all caught up on your shopping then.
A ’90s gang of Philly musicians joined warped minds to skewer Christmas music. They took a while to rise above door-to-door cassette sales, but i highly recommend you lay your hands on whatever Hot Buttered Elves released, regardless of roster.
“Coal” is their 11 minute opus (apparently in several parts) about the ins and outs of striking black rock for the holidays. At times instrumental (haunted symphonic) at others experimental club (haunting beat poetry). Grab a cup o’ joe and settle back for this one. It’ll take you places you never dreamt. See you on the other side.
Punk music doesn’t mind the smell of its own farts. The subject of coal for Christmas is neither a rant nor a rave, more of a shrug for these torchwood hoodlums.
Nö Class singsongs their punk “Coal for Christmas” as a dance number you can keep time to.
I’m not sure what self respecting punk group goes by the epithet Christmas, but these guys metal out “The Story of the Coal Workers Slavery.” Not the holiday connection we were hoping for, but hell if my head ain’t bobbing in solidarity.
Children’s punk turns the corner for us with Backyard Superheroes’ “Coal in My Stocking.” This ska-powered logic posits that you-give-me-coal, I-now-misbehave. That’ll teach you. Away we pogo!
Out of the 1990s Santa Barbara college rock circuit hales Munkafust with their post-punk pissiness. The title “My Birthday’s Near Christmas (And It Sucks!)” is all the lead in you need to feel prepared for this synth-banger.
It’s not just any Christmas Party.
Professor Steve cracks corn with ‘grass folk at “Grandma’s Christmas Party.” The (sartorial) journey is the party.
For Mel Waiters “Xmas Party at Grandma’s House” is an important element in family strength. R+B shivering with the gospel power.
“Nick Kwas Christmas Party” is an introspective depressive fever dream that really has no party parts whatsoever. But the alt-rock soldiers on. Try on your gift from Sorority Noise, but keep the receipt.
“Mrs. Miller’s Christmas Party” from Quarrel starts out slow. The polka punk rock, however, increases in tempo and aggro until we know ‘it’s the best party in the land.’ Glad i was there.
Some War on Christmas songs bang their drum so loudly i have no idea what side they’re against.
Pete Cummings’s “War on Christmas” is growly and pissy about them. But the protests about ‘no place in America for a good white Christian man,’ can be played either way. Who wants this anthem?
The Methmatics get armed and dangerous with their “War on Christmas,” an odd punk multimedia culture clash. The body count is higher than the alcohol content in Uncle John’s eggnog! WWBO’RD?
Yes, Virginia, there is a Christmas-hating tradition. We’ve been this route before. But, hawkish doom-delivering warfarers? That’s a garland too far.
You’re one of them! begins “My War on Christmas” (‘my’ being The Benefit). And you being the merry-makers of Christmas partied. Punk’s got you in its sights.
The “War on Christmas” sets guns blazing Sekcells (a fun phonetic pun). When you unleash the rap dogs of war (BLUE ALERT) they may not stop at your command any longer. The humanity! The pandas!
Stirring up sides for a merry/happy time of the year can result in hurt feelings, resentment, acute rage, and going postal. See your doctor.
Punk brings us to a head. Total Massacre’s “War on Christmas (World is Over)” smears feces all over every aspect on the season. BLUE ALERT, i guess they win.
He Who Cannot Be Named gets just a garage more melodic with their punking “War on Christmas.” Now beginnith the list of Claus’s flaws.