Allow me to uncork the good stuff, songs i’m pretty fond of concerning the wait on Christmas. These first few might go by fast, like sour sweets. Gulp when ready.

Parodying a proper punk anthem (like there ever was such a thing) Two Inch Winky start the party with “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Pump up the volume and open the door. They’ll do the rest.

Perhaps starting out as a kid song that hit folk, turned at garage, then hyperred up some soul, “Waiting for Christmas Day” by Big Little Lions plays to many audiences authentically. Talent’ll do that.

Goofy garage from The Morning Glass (as The Christmas Friends) warms up the ice. “Can’t Wait for Christmas” pops and spits (Santa doesn’t love me the way my parents do–) with lots of lala lalalas for everyone to enjoy. (Punk parody outro totally optional.)

“Can’t Wait for Christmas” is off in just the right ways for a punk promise of merriment & joy. Music Infection riffs and roughs up the fun, adding a pleasant melody just for a larf.

What are waiting for? CHRISTMAS! Who are we waiting for? SANTA! Santa? Did you see him? Get outta the way–it’s Santa, goddammit!

Let’s start with the antique country pop of 1971 (it’s not country… it’s not pop… it’s lounge Americana) “A Whistle and a Whisker Away.” Lynn Anderson accomplishes a recording about patient children with little memorability, and no feeling.

Florence K gets unhooked jazzy (just this side of jump blues) with “Santa’s Almost Here.” Despite the energetic musicality, this is by-the-numbers sentimentality.

Originality boosts (barely) the James Leo Oliver easy-listening song “Ready or Not,” herein retooled to be sung by Santa getting set and going for Christmas. (Points, too, for the sneaky Santa-Nativity crossover.)

Jerry T Band gets dadrockin’ with “Santa Will Appear,” a bombastic pop-rock attempt at kidsong where this much enthusiasm becomes a little scary.

Marc Amendola adds metal to your stocking with the “I Almost Met Santa Claus” song. It’s jolly and regretful as only gonzo punk can capture.

Spin me some fat daddi-o wax from the ‘Fifties and i’m yours! Huey ‘Piano’ Smith and His Clowns wail some N’awlins soul on “Almost Time for Santa.” Warms me to the core.

Blog here has covered trees and their decorations extensively, but let’s see what we still like while plugging away at Xmas lights songs.

Elevation Music pits Jesus-loving falsetto with kids’ music sentimentality in “I Love the Lights on the Christmas Tree.” Hate to tell ya, but i’m getting a synesthesia-headache…. (Even when Alan Price solos it.)

Continuing with our spiritual tree decorating, Jane Sieberry runs a chorale fantasy around and around with “Are You Burning, Little Candle?” It’s a hymn for her.

Beleaf (feat. Frank Puppet) raps the joy into the reveal with “Light It Up (Christmas).” Quite a house warmer.

Several oldsters make solemn with “Let’s Light the Christmas Tree.” Let’s keep it to a barely resurrected 1948 crooner from Jack Brown & The Three Jills. It’s about missing those far away (serving in WWII).

Bearkat takes a lively big band sound and amps it up with millennial pop in “Hang the Lights on the Tree.” I’m dancing now.

Blinded marches out their industrial punk march “Candycanes and Christmas Lights” to catch your joy off off guard. Yet this DIY decoration course may add a new touch to your annual routine.

Because we all love the Bob River’s song about one of the pains of Christmas being those gee-dee lights, we’ll pass on that one. Who else hates the snarling, tangled, uncooperative beasties?

We’ve heard some of these before. Oh well.

Getting them out was the problem for Watkins & The Rapiers with their Argentinely syncopated “Christmas Lights Untango.” Tee hee.

Checking them was the problem for Brian Kinder with his oompah kidsong “Blinking Lights.” See, for a Midwesterner, the term blinking is like swearing. Har de ha.

For a neighborly commentary, Z100 concocted that wacky rude pop blues number “Your Christmas Lights Look Like Crap.” This is olden comedy, so offensive was the new black.

Ian Sands has something I recently discovered (beware: talented amateur). “I Hate Christmas Lights” is a punk metal dad band pop number that ranges over random cultural references to make its (with hard to understand vocals). Still, tip of the hat to South Brunswick High School art teacher Ian Sands.

Some folks do not feel the generous cheer of Christmas for they have-not. Po’ folks get skipped.

DJ Wizz cusses and elctro-raps “No Christmas” No Holiday ‘cuz you ain’t got the money it takes. Hippity hop down the money trail….

Power punk pops out of Vice Squad in their social-working “Christmas has been Cancelled.” It’s a party of pooping. (Blue Alert)

Mad? Mad enough to boot Christmas?? Let ‘er rip!

Smosh brings the comedy with pop bebop in “So Frickin’ Tired of Christmas.” Guys, they’re so mad–they want Christmas to be DEAD….

Mary’s Kids bring Scandinavian doom and gloom to their punk dust-up “No Christmas This Year.” It’s like a slap fight with Death.

What about those spoil sports who just don’t want anything for Christmas? Don’t let them get away with that! But, listen a spell.

Pissing and moaning, Matt Stratton tickles the strings for a country sounding set of blues in “Empty Christmas.” Sucks to be… hell, everything just sucks.

Eric and Sari abstain from all the frippery including presents and prefer just to chestnuts and chill. With each other. “This Year I Don’t Want Anything for Christmas” is garage pop fun for grammas everywhere.

Canadian-American emo new wave from The Classic Brown mopes about the pointlessness of a list in “Walmartiana.” Wah, wah, be-shoop de-doo.

Also despairing musically Futureman gives up on asking in the alt-folk “Better Christmas.” (P.S. That’s ironic: nothing will ever be better.) Sigh. La la la.

Let’s just say it: “Nothing for Me.” Jazzy punk from The Muffs cops to the big zero for Christmas. And… you’re all caught up on your shopping then.