punk – Novelty Christmas Music

Christmas Countdown: 123

Sometimes the first three digits aren’t the beginning, just a configuration.

Kayla Perez re-roots us to the original material (Matthew 1:23) in the swaying “The Best Gift.” Rafters vibrated, if not raised.

It’s easy as 1-2-3 to observe Christmas for Apostle in the oompah-pop “More Than a Beauty.” Kicky. Catchy.

MxPx’s “Christmas Party” occurs at 123 Sycamore. Punk hi jinx. Weee!

KC Star (feat. Avery Bruce) overplay the pop syncopation to achieve a anxious look-out for Santa. Get comfy in my bed, hey, maybe count some sheep (1-2-3) instructs “A Christmas Carol?” Confused? So are the closeted artists.

‘Nuttin’ for Christmas’ anchors “I’m Working Retail for Christmas.” We Are the Union enacts the rude shoppers (“1-2-3 pick it up pick it up”) as well as the sad stockers (I’ll gladly move if you just say “please”). Rollicking punk.

Christmas Countdown: 1… 2… 3…. [BLUE ALERT]

Kicking off a kick-ass carol might begin with a ‘count up.’ A one anna two anna–take it away Lawrence Welk–!

Kelly Clarkson begins “Winter’s Dreams (Brandon’s Song)” with staccato vibrancy. But it’s all pop/love treacle. Ho, ho hum.

Even more pop, K-pop in point of fact, Wa$$up toggle ‘twixt languages for their “Jingle Bell.” But the 1,2,3 let’s go is serious this time.

1,2,3 go intros the silky rap (oddly to ‘Winter Wonderland’) “I Saw Mommy Kissing Sacramento Santa.” There’s a 916 Sacramento area code reference in there, too–but Big TL gives us very soft-core blue language. So, for MOST of the family.

But 1,2,3 Go! needs some (punk) rock for true trajectory. So, “Socks for Christmas” from The Wish You Weres is a contentious (hence, BLUE ALERT) reaction to the bourgeois platitude that is the gift-without-thought. Well… GO!

Christmas Countdown: 303

Red was Here has a slight problem with “Christmas in Devon (Devon?)” being as how it’s the in-laws to visit, innit? He proposes to take the A30 beat rush hour, straight up the 303 and onto Cobham. Maybe wouldn’t be so bad a drive, but still brit-screaming pop-punk, see?

Christmas Countdown: 5:02

The Ramones suffer burnout in “Danny Says,” the slightest and lightest of punk doldrums. Sound check’s at 5:02, but–in L.A.–It ain’t Christmas if there ain’t no snow. (Tom Waits creates much more pathos for the endless road:)

Christmas Countdown: 555

“No Xmas for John Quays” is a free verse punk ramble about how there is no proper holiday celebration for junkies. The 555 is a reference to buying cigs (A packet of three-five fives) at the tobacconist’s, perhaps the most fun a heroin addict can have out and about. Ask The Fall.

Christmas Countdown: 1977 BLUE ALERT

A two-parter from Hector Collectors: “Christmas 1977” starts out cursing playfully, but then turns wistful for the year in question wishing they had a junket like Mike Bevins. Quite Brit’sh. But punk pop.

Christmas Countdown: 1979 BLUE ALERT

Aptly punk, “Christmas 1979” is a candy colored crackup of drunkeness, death, and a lover’s betrayal. Salad days from Billy Childish.

Christmas Countdown: 1996

Some of these old memories shape us into who we become.

“New Friends” is Kidboy’s charming punk reminiscence about way back when he BLUE ALERT was ganged up on due to his gifts. Oi! Oi’m widdem!

Felice Avian: participation

What’s better than seeing the reindeer fly? Saddling up and going along!

From the ‘Madeline and Santa’ soundtrack, the precocious girl admits in kidsong “I’ve Always Dreamed of Flying

with Santa.” Privilege has its rewards.

Pete the Elf shared with me (oh say about forty years ago) Little Jerry and “I’m Gonna Learn to Ride a Reindeer.” Holy moly was kidsong different back in the day.

These days songs are ironically rude and adorably foul mouthed. BLUE ALERT for Kyle Dunnigan (feat. Craig and Kurt Pullin) as an arrogant CW singer introducing his challenged brother to sing about the “Honkeytonk Reindeer.” At some point there may be riding (and dinosaurs)….

Overplayed novelty Christmas music may suffer from sequelitis. But “Santa’s Letting Grandma Fly the Xmas Sleigh” is the garage punk remonstration you did not expect. They claim a lotta fun. You’ll see.

X-claim: gosh/golly BLUE ALERT

A couple more euphemisms for GOD!

Oh by gosh by golly begins the Frank Sinatra signature carol “Mistletoe and Holly.” Everyone else who covers this aches for the natural swing The Chairman brings to it. Yawn. Let’s give it up for The Boston Gay Men’s Chorus to change the tone just a scratch.

“Oh, Golly Jolly” by Durnst and Friends is the excitement of heavy drinking for Xmas. Hand clapping soft pop.

Oh by golly have a “Holly Jolly Christmas” goes the middle of the Burl Ives hit. Point of Grace livens this up way down home style. But, let’s punk this bitch up–BLUE ALERT–with The Sheckies.