Category Archives: punk

Presents of Mine: greedier

You want more greed? How much more do you want?!

Repeated, but most appropriate, comedy from Mr. Rodney Carrington showcases his country swing in “The Presents Under the Tree (Better be for Me).” Narcissism is always a hoot.

Big Freedia (from The Office Christmas Party soundtrack) wants and wants (mostly cars and booty) is the party screamer “Make it Jingle.” Urban dance that won’t stop.

BLUE ALERT Lil Jon rap parody “Buy Me Presents” also gets carnal while asking for everything in sight.

Men and Machine shine a light on gimmie-ism with the bluesy electronica “Christmas Greed.” Dated but timeless ’90s screeching.

Parody help from Duncan G with Brian: “One More Gift for Us” takes its cue from Queen’s ‘Bite the Dust.’ (Mostly dissatisfied, the wankers.)

Brit punk is always about the class struggle. This time with suggestions, EDBM (feat. Sid Crowe) preach “Season’s Greedy.” Help!

Presents of Mine: greed

The need for gifts can overtake a weaker mind.

Rappy McRapperson reprises one of my favorite grabby bits “Gimme Stuff for Christmas.” Comedy rap.

Ria Mae is puckish and hesitant with her alt “Gimme My Presents (Take the Bows Off).” Nice experimental take on the kid-near-insanity POV.

PROCACK delivers us Michael Prokop’s helium-voice hiphop in “Gimme My Presents.” A diverting trifle.

Screechy little girl vocals in Greencastle Homer’s “I Want Presents.” Cutesy big band kidsong.

Affecting Bela Lugosi (or is it Family Guy‘s Stewie?) (or the Grinch?), Jerry Becker swings big band fun for “Christmas Presents.” To hell with the pretense, bring on the presents!

More punk than selfish, The Elftones amp up the tone for “Get Some Present.” Tinsel, too, guys?

Presents of Mine: end of the credit line

How sad can you get from a penniless holiday?

Marcus Oglesby moans the blues and Creek Don’t Rise humps the harmonica with “Daddy’s Broke for Christmas.” Well, kids, maybe the trauma of it will repress the memory for you later.

Sean Cole the Outlaw raps thoughtfully for “Another Broke Christmas” remembering the empty Christmases of his childhood. Poetical.

The saddest songs are the worst. Mike Rob is truly awful, and his rap is criminal. So, don’t listen to “Broke Again This Christmas.” Don’t do it. Just don’t.

Pissed about your list, Dragstrip Riot punks all over your cheer with “Broke for Christmas.” There’s some rollicking garage ufn here, however, so excuse my underlying glee.

Presents of Mine: not so much

No money all year round means no money for Christmas gifts. No comedy. No calamity. It isn’t what it isn’t.

George Naschke figures he’ll ride out “Christmas Broke” nonchalantly, just taking it as it comes. His numb mumbling accompanies a killer blues guitar.

The Mansfields celebrate the sentiment succinctly with “Broke on Christmas Again.” Just so. It’s barely a 3 on the Anger Scale.

Parodies’ Paradise: 2000 “All the Small Things”

Blink-182’s second single released from their third album was created as something “really catchy and basic”… promptly charted worldwide… a number one hit on Billboard’s Modern Rock Tracks chart… peaked at number two on the UK Singles Chart… number six on the Billboard Hot 100… the band’s most successful single to date… selected by Rolling Stone as one of the “100 Greatest Pop Songs”… listed in the 2010 book 1001 Songs You Must Hear Before You Die.

The Krazy Kyles rock in your face “Tree Lights, Stockings.” Voices are almost too pretty, but their aim is true.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1983 “Blister in the Sun”

Milwaukieans Violent Femmes’ album Violent Femmes became the band’s biggest-selling album and was eventually certified platinum by the RIAA… themselves went on to become one of the most successful alternative rock bands of the 1980s, selling over 9 million albums by 2005. The original song here is one that helped make them famous, fight, and fall apart.

Joking ’round with it, jumpin’ Joel Kopischke needs a vacation from snow with “Christmas in the Sun.” Australia p’raps?

Tripping Bells: Acid

Is Christmas the hallucination of God? Time to touch the sky and see through the vocals of some singers.

“Christmas on LSD” by Chad Johnson wanders, wonders, and dead ends with lite rock. It’s like he tripped into pillows.

“Christmas On LSD” by Skip Haynes and Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah is an old fashioned folk rock blend and sounds like a VW bus.

“Christmas LSD” by Light Sunny Day plays on Jeff Buckley’s ‘Hallelujah.’ And goes BLUE. These guys are professionally sober.

Fat by the Gallon bring it with garage/punk yelling. “Christmas on L.S.D.” is angry, loud, and unrepentant. Go. Go. Get clean.

Not All There for the High Holidays

More consequences for over-imbibing over the High Mass? Waking up and not knowing where you are… wait are there bars, the vertical iron-kind?

The well known tragic life leading up to this eye-opener is from The Pogues. “Fairytale of New York” might’ve originally been entitled ‘Christmas Eve in the Drunk Tank’ or sumpin like that.

The Traditionals ‘billy up their punk with a tale of woe in “In the Drunk Tank on Christmas.” I hope you woke up on your side with your dancing shoes on.

Drunk as an Fresh-Boiled Owl for the High Holidays

BLUE ALERT Corey Taylor of the extremely discourteous Slipknot poses an if-then antecedent-consequent in his surprisingly singable “XM@$.” Many forms of intoxication are equated with many forms of this holiday. CT needs relief from them all.

Also sprightly suggesting an alternative to Mass, Zax Vandal posits “Drunk on Christmas Cheer” to those who wish to know. Rockin’.

Red Alert slurs and gargles their “Having a Drunken Christmas” like they’re in the midst of muddleheadedness. But it’s a party plan for meeting the holidays head down. For those who like their punk over orchestrated.

Drink N.B. Merry: rum1

If you want just rum in your holiday liquor cabinet you usually rely on rhymes with drum (pum pum pum). But some rummies wanna go straight up with Caribbean Tom Thumb. Yo ho ho.

Ho hum rum songs include Bah & the Humbugs playing slacker elves deifying the demon rum. The humor of that obvious inappropriateness is lost in this loungey sing-a-long. “All You Need is Rum” is a fun song to spring on the unaware, but not to rotate into your novelty selections.

Joseph Michael Young meditates sadly on his only friend “Holiday Rum.” It’s a plaintive prosody.

Jimmy Buffett tries to Gulf it up with gusto in “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum.” But this shaggy dog about Santa needing a (drinking) break reflects on middle-aged sadness in a 2nd-stage of wistful drukenness and self worth crisis.

A punk twist on the title comes from The Cucumbers. “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum” here is a great earthy, naughty chant begrudging nuthin off the pirate allusion. Damn Santa.