Category Archives: punk

Parodies’ Paradise: 2000 “All the Small Things”

Blink-182’s second single released from their third album was created as something “really catchy and basic”… promptly charted worldwide… a number one hit on Billboard’s Modern Rock Tracks chart… peaked at number two on the UK Singles Chart… number six on the Billboard Hot 100… the band’s most successful single to date… selected by Rolling Stone as one of the “100 Greatest Pop Songs”… listed in the 2010 book 1001 Songs You Must Hear Before You Die.

The Krazy Kyles rock in your face “Tree Lights, Stockings.” Voices are almost too pretty, but their aim is true.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1983 “Blister in the Sun”

Milwaukieans Violent Femmes’ album Violent Femmes became the band’s biggest-selling album and was eventually certified platinum by the RIAA… themselves went on to become one of the most successful alternative rock bands of the 1980s, selling over 9 million albums by 2005. The original song here is one that helped make them famous, fight, and fall apart.

Joking ’round with it, jumpin’ Joel Kopischke needs a vacation from snow with “Christmas in the Sun.” Australia p’raps?

Tripping Bells: Acid

Is Christmas the hallucination of God? Time to touch the sky and see through the vocals of some singers.

“Christmas on LSD” by Chad Johnson wanders, wonders, and dead ends with lite rock. It’s like he tripped into pillows.

“Christmas On LSD” by Skip Haynes and Aliotta Haynes Jeremiah is an old fashioned folk rock blend and sounds like a VW bus.

“Christmas LSD” by Light Sunny Day plays on Jeff Buckley’s ‘Hallelujah.’ And goes BLUE. These guys are professionally sober.

Fat by the Gallon bring it with garage/punk yelling. “Christmas on L.S.D.” is angry, loud, and unrepentant. Go. Go. Get clean.

Not All There for the High Holidays

More consequences for over-imbibing over the High Mass? Waking up and not knowing where you are… wait are there bars, the vertical iron-kind?

The well known tragic life leading up to this eye-opener is from The Pogues. “Fairytale of New York” might’ve originally been entitled ‘Christmas Eve in the Drunk Tank’ or sumpin like that.

The Traditionals ‘billy up their punk with a tale of woe in “In the Drunk Tank on Christmas.” I hope you woke up on your side with your dancing shoes on.

Drunk as an Fresh-Boiled Owl for the High Holidays

BLUE ALERT Corey Taylor of the extremely discourteous Slipknot poses an if-then antecedent-consequent in his surprisingly singable “XM@$.” Many forms of intoxication are equated with many forms of this holiday. CT needs relief from them all.

Also sprightly suggesting an alternative to Mass, Zax Vandal posits “Drunk on Christmas Cheer” to those who wish to know. Rockin’.

Red Alert slurs and gargles their “Having a Drunken Christmas” like they’re in the midst of muddleheadedness. But it’s a party plan for meeting the holidays head down. For those who like their punk over orchestrated.

Drink N.B. Merry: rum1

If you want just rum in your holiday liquor cabinet you usually rely on rhymes with drum (pum pum pum). But some rummies wanna go straight up with Caribbean Tom Thumb. Yo ho ho.

Ho hum rum songs include Bah & the Humbugs playing slacker elves deifying the demon rum. The humor of that obvious inappropriateness is lost in this loungey sing-a-long. “All You Need is Rum” is a fun song to spring on the unaware, but not to rotate into your novelty selections.

Joseph Michael Young meditates sadly on his only friend “Holiday Rum.” It’s a plaintive prosody.

Jimmy Buffett tries to Gulf it up with gusto in “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum.” But this shaggy dog about Santa needing a (drinking) break reflects on middle-aged sadness in a 2nd-stage of wistful drukenness and self worth crisis.

A punk twist on the title comes from The Cucumbers. “Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum” here is a great earthy, naughty chant begrudging nuthin off the pirate allusion. Damn Santa.

Consume-mas Quantities: polish the star

Special foods for special times of the year from special corners of the world make for specialities that no one else would ever eat.

The Pala Brothers, however, are super confident of their polka-based cuisine bragging that “Sausage & Sauerkraut for Santa” made him jolly and fat.

The Polkaholics, however, make grotesque this stuffing of the face with stuffed meats with their own punk polka version of this same song. Lala lala lala, but ironically.

Sweet Christmas! candy canes 1

A peppermint stick with a handle is your Christmas constant: the candy cane.

It’s been a symbol of the holiday for centuries, so The Kiboomers have a counting game for you little ones. “Five Candy Canes” has less over emoted condescension and more happy for candy singing than most children’s tunes. I give it five candy canes.

Laurie Berken has a sugar/drug-induced vision in “Candy Cane Jane.” Not strictly Christmastide, but wintery nonetheless. Suh-weet.

Plank Road Publishing, natch, has songs for kids to sing at the third-grade assembly about non-secular Advent-ures. “Peppermint Candy Cane” takes the low road to kids’ music with its repetitive, moronic, mish mash of melodic metaphors.

Some mock the easy target of easily identifiable holiday props. Jackisanerd glibly improvs fractions of xmas songs each year into 3-minute ADHD compilations. Last year he extended his “Candy Cane” song into a full version. Yule B Sorry.

Let’s pick up the honorable mantle of popular music now. Little Feat’s Lowell George has an Invasion-flavored song from 1993 that might move you: “Candy Cane Madness” plays with the sweetie like a twirly toy and spins you across the candy counter.

Darius Rucker warms up soft country like peppermint cocoa with “Candy Cane Christmas,” alliteration after my own aorta. It smells of big band, but tastes of easy listening.

Billy’s Pop presents Amo tainting party music with garage in his “Candy Cane.” Short and swell.

Ending with grunge, The White Stripes play “Candy Cane Children” like somebody’s listening. It’s a cautionary tale for angry tots.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: capitalism (not!)

It’s not in the Constitution, but USA is a democratic republic based on the fundamentals of capitalism.

Christmas has also been a bastion of that.

Sadly most reactions have been so caught up in reactionarianism, they fail to win by wit.

Sean Michael Wilson teeters through “Christmas Song for Capitalism” con brio but you’ll be done before he will. BLUE ALERT!

The Twin Cities Industrial Workers of the World shyly and slyly do their part at an insiders’ party, singing “Anti-Capitalist Carols” to the choir. It’s pretty violent, even for Marxist humor.

Toxic Socket’s short finger-wagging screed “Merry Christmas Capitalism” is a fun slide show, still more angry than provocative.

United We Christmas Tree Stand: santa’s coming

The Kicks point out the “Santa Claus is Coming to the USA” every year. Contractually he’s bound to. But, c’mon–you know he’d rather bring merch here than any where else. We’re all about that (even got some church bells tolling on us).