Category Archives: show tune

Life After X-please

Some lunatics out there admit that they look forward to the after-times from Xmas. What–? How–? Hoo boy….

Woebegone of folksy tune, John Caroll has mostly glad feelings now that “Christmas is Over.” There’ll be another one…. for those who even care.

Cardboard Box Thieves jig about with bluegrass pop confessing how little they like Christmas. “After Christmas” is preferred. ‘Strue.

Karen Jacobsen also complains about the hair-tearing-out pace of the holiday, so with a showtune turn she exalts “The Day After Christmas.” She even calls it Boxing Day, like that’s a thing.

But, to keep you off balance, Kermit & Dylan (impressionist Thomas Valenti) harmonize about how “I’m So Glad Christmas is Over” and it’s all back to normal. Music hall enunciated comedy.

Wait for the Show

Christmas is a big deal, a big show. Let’s bounce in our seats in the audience waiting for curtain time.

We’ve celebrated the Teresa Brewer big band version, now let’s try “I Just Can’t Wait ’til Christmas” as a torch song with back room bluesiness. That’s a better cover, mother. Madison O’Neill for the win.

But, I do admire a jazz tempo big band serenade. See what Jenny Daniel’s (cover again) of “We Can’t Wait.” I shiver so much i hear the tinkling of a two drink minimum.

Legit overorchestration arrives via The Kindie Songwriting Club (In the Nick of Time) and their slow building “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” This erstwhile kid song elevates the genre to showstopper.

Wait for the Lounge

What are you waiting for? Party like it’s Christmas! That is–in the manner most consistent with your observation. Oh, just so? The lounge it is….

“Can’t Wait!” is the jazz diva turn of white girl Esmee Denters. But the twirly shrill twists on her endnotes belie her down-ness. Piano bar mellow times.

Mindi Abair wootchi-cooes the jazz experience with “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Sure a whisper in my ear perks up my Xmas spirit, but where’s all the other partygoers?

There they are! Teresa Brewer fronts The Les Brown Band with the sparkly jazz band “I Just Can’t Wait for Christmas.” This is the shape of kidsong of yore, younglers. Corny, but cool.

Amateur piano bar bounciness gives Charles Szabo to sing out of both sides of his mouth. “I Can’t Wait for Christmas” is also kid-centric, with an oldster bent. But it means so well, it borders on kicky.

On the mainstage of the Yuletide Room, the showstopping ragtime barn burner is “I Can’t Wait to Fly on Christmas Eve” by John Gannon. Rockin’, in a retired guy kind of way. Yet, it warms me like chicken soup.

Wait for the Sellout

Some musical genres lack authenticity when they are merried up too much for more family-friendly sales of holiday songs.

Country music has done nothing but run away from the hills and stalked the pick-up driving suburban teen since 1967. Selling out is ka-ching for country. So no surprise that Aaron Kelly soars to vocal heights with “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” The identification of this song as country is circumstantial at best.

Punk, however, should rage ‘against the machine. So Robert Neary’s repetitive “I Can’t Wait ’til Christmas Day” is particularly mind boggling. Pop punk may be a thing, but this is bubblegum punk.

Royalty Free Music is this thing you can sample for your videos or parties, and it is just a sound curtain not meant to be heard. So when i turn up DJ Quads’s “Waiting for Christmas” i feel a bad trip coming on. R+B stumbles.

Rock’n’roll is steamrolled by cover bands, upandcomers, and even the downandouters. Dadband The Animal Band valiantly attempt the cool rock kid song, but “I Can’t Wait Anymore” comes off as too carefully constructed to wail.

In the same vein Lovetrain rocks slightly harder (for the kids) “I Can’t Wait ’til Christmas.” The cutesy factor may help parents feed this to their offspring, but it murders the spirit of the music.

Even the over-achieving showtune is undone by the misguided gushing of the amateurish. “I Can’t Wait ’til Christmas” is Sherry Allen’s play for posterity. The modulations do more harm than good. Get this unplugged and a cappella and ill revisit my judgment.

Mall World: my type

Chubby Chasers Anonymous, let the meeting begin. Who would like to admit their wandering gaze has seared a mall Santa recently? Anyone?

The FuMP’s Amy Engelhardt’s reels from the department store sitter’s inappropriate selfies in the slightly obvious comedy showtune “Saint Nick Dick Pic.” Sorry.

Sarah Lynn Strange dials up a diva storm on Jill Louise Leger’s “Mr. Mall Santa.” This show tune stops when the panty drops.

Mall World: drunk

Mommy, there’s something wrong with Santa Claus–he’s sweating, swearing, and spewing! Ok, kids, 2003’s ‘Bad Santa’ rocked our ironic socks off as the saint was portrayed by the skunk. But it was only quote-unquote funny because we knew it to be possible. What kinda loser takes THAT job!?

Henry McGoo seems to be “The Second Santa at the Mall.” Garage rock from Honecomb Bunker takes us back to those good old days of glue-sniffin’, gun-totin’ old guys trusted to kids.

“Blotto in the Grotto” is the best illustration of this nightmare. This music-hall brit-pop comedy from Little Timmy Tinsel & The Fairy Lights rollicks a rock-’em sock-’em scene from the department store. Hey, is that Dad?!

Mall World: tragic

Will being the Santa down at the mall ruin your life?

Jarrod Dickenson judges the ankle-biters in his “Shopping Mall Santa’s Lament.” The power his folk ballad wishes it wielded is hinted at in the kazoo solo.

The burlesque romp from the musical of ‘A Christmas Story’ “Up on Santa’s Lap” might be period appropriate, but this showcase around the ‘you’ll shoot your eye out, kid!‘ barely delivers. Do your job, man.

Mall World: adult love

Trix may be for kids, but Santa is for everyone. Adults, hide not your need for santaffirmation, it will winnow your heartstrings to thread.

filnobep has an odd series of gangsta rappers sitting on Santa’s lap and wishing as far as urban crisis will let them. Most of the beat-men don’t sing, however, so let’s rejoice when “Tay-K Sits on Santa’s Lap” and lays down a rhyme. The guy who improvs as Santa is pretty good, too.

Not sure where “The Santa Mannequin Challenge” got started: bored millennials/fundraising goody-twoshoes? But try Lil Poverty Angels tutorial on how to get into the Xmas spirit without moving. Word jazz rap.

Slidawg & The Redneck Ramblers paint you a pitcher with the Bubba who tells Santa “All I Want for Christmas is a Billy Bass.” Look it up, kids. Redneck light rock done right.

Improv Everywhere elevates the flashmob into original street theater. Which can go really wrong. But it doesn’t with “You’re Never Too Old to Sit on Santa.” Showtune heaven.

Put Up Lights

So let’s enjoy the high utility cost of the strings of lights webbing over the outside and inside of your festive holiday domicile. These began as candles on trees, then went electric (but we’ve mostly covered tree lights on this blog), then got narcissistically all over. I mean, Halloween? Fourth of July??? Easter?!?!

Mr. Matt Farley’s back as The Very Nice Interesting Singer Man with his serenade to meaningful “Christmas Lights.” Put ’em up and life makes more sense! Word jazz.

Great Lake Swimmers want you to “Hang a String of Lights” to get with the programming. This lite alt party music might be played on repeat while doing so.

Winterval gets more solemnly emo with “Hang the Lights on the Tree.” Those were the days, when we did that, don’t you recall? Sigh.

Kevin McKinney slackers into the showmanship with “Everybody Wants to See the Lights.” It’s a sad thing, all that expectation weighing down a man. Slo-mo alt-pop that makes whining into poetry.

K1 barely parodies ‘Deck the Halls’ with “Deck the House with Christmas Lights.” The iconoclasm gets wild, however, so follow the rapping bulb!

More overtly humorous (passive-aggressive comedy?) The Therapy Sisters strategize like Caesar for “The War of the Lights.” This sing-songy showtime might hit a bit close to home for some of you. Deal.

Treetopping Star

Let’s decorate our majestic tree with a blazing star and hope all is tranquil. It’s Christmas! Let’s get silly!

“There’s a Star” is an experimental exploration of folk-jazz from the ever-mindful Bah & the Humbugs. It’s a trip–to the treetop.

Ostensibly a kidsong, Todd McHatton’s Tony the bunny (kin to Kermit in accent) wants to “Put the Star on Top.” It’s also oddly playful and weird.

And now a word from the star itself: “Twinkle Twinkle Little Me” from Stevie Wonder tells the tale of the heavenly body that alit on your conifer. (The Supremes make this song too scary for me.)

And wishing to be the “Star on the Xmas Tree” from pkruse 1234. Oompah retaliation about a crappy world.

Mighty Magical Pants also personifies the decoration with “I’m Gonna Be the Star.” This showtune flips out about the li’l twinkler that could.