Category Archives: lounge

Parodies’ Paradise: 1983 “Every Breath You Take”

The Police had their biggest US and UK hit with this… topping the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart for eight weeks… their only number-one hit on that chart… #1 UK Singles Chart for four weeks… also topped the Billboard Top Tracks chart for nine weeks… nominated for three Grammy Awards, including Song of the Year, Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals, and Record of the Year, winning in the first two categories… Sting received the 1983 British Academy’s Ivor Novello award for Best Song Musically and Lyrically… Rolling Stone critics and readers voted it “Song of the Year”… in the US, it was the best-selling single of 1983 and fifth-best-selling single of the decade… Billboard ranked it as the number-one song for 1983… ranked number 84 on the Rolling Stone list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time… included in The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s 500 Songs that Shaped Rock and Roll… also ranked number 25 on Billboard‘s Hot 100 All-Time Top Songs.

The Mistletones play the music and make the funny with “Every Wish You Make,” but they don’t quite get the gravity of the song.

So let’s have Robert Lund unpack its mysticism with a paranoid screed about Santa watching “Every Toy You Break.”

Parodies’ Paradise: 1978 “Copacabana”

Also known as “Copacabana (At the Copa),” Barry Manilow’s familiar tune was released as the third and final single from his fifth studio album, Even Now… peaked at number 8 on the Billboard chart… peaked at number 22 in the United Kingdom in 1993 in a remixed version… is considered Manilow’s third-greatest hit… his first gold single for a song he recorded and released… the lyrics earned Manilow his first and only Grammy Award for Pop Male Vocalist in 1979.

Joel Kopischke plays it cool with “North Pole Cabana”–who gored who??

Parodies Paradise: 1959 “Mack the Knife”

Bobby Darin rode Louis Armstrong’s hit to number one on the Billboard Hot 100 and number six on the Black Singles chart, and earned him a Grammy Award for Record of the Year… Frank Sinatra and Simon Cowell have raved about this version descended from Brecht’s Die Dreigroschenoper, alienating Marxist theater. Most of us mack fun of the finger-snapping, cool-scatting lounge lizard it spawned.

Make way for Joel Kopischke’s “Santa’s Back in Town.” Yeah, i think it’s cool. ‘Cuz it is.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1959 “Beyond the Sea”

Bobby Darin adds to his streak o’ hits here reaching no. 6 on the Billboard Hot 100, no. 15 on the US R&B Chart, and no. 8 in the UK Singles Chart. Not bad for retreading a Jack Lawrence 1946 love song. Baby!

Joel Kopischke searched “Beneath the Tree” for presents. So should we all.

Behold a Star: Marilyn Monroe

Norma Jeane Mortensen was a foster kid bounced around homes and careers and men until she became a glossy prop for Americana. Whether or not she ever was allowed dreams of her own, she became the dream of millions and that’s all that needs to be said here. Sadly.

Lou Mencell and His Mambonicks has a listing January 1955 on Billboard for new pop releases. His hangdog nasal “All I Want for Chanukah is Marilyn Monroe” has been featured on my blog before. But come on. It’s cool.

In One’s Cups for the High Holidays

The full drunk is like the full sleep, you never feel that moment of slip into surrender. But you’ll know later.

For now the songs are loud and uninhibited.

The Bob and Tom Band make parody of ‘Winter Wonderland’ a la Dudley Moore’s ‘Arthur’ character with the drunk sounding “It’s Christmas and I Wonder Where I Am.” This is Dr. Demento approved humor, so i like it too.

If you call cool cool rockabilly uninhibited (i do). “Drunk on Christmas” by Overgrown RocknRoll might be an exception, as drunk here refers to a giddy glee Brough on by the joyous time of the year–hell, just dance.

Government Zero bellows “Drunk for Christmas” with a few expletives and plenty of synonymy for drunk (including today’s word). It’s roiling Brit rock with punk bitters, that’s what that is.

Cruddy Pants the Clown gets reflective, if not in tune, with “The Little Clown is Drunk Again” purportedly about his own sick self. It’s an humble parody of ‘Little Town’ with disgusting consequences. Underplayed is the best i can call it.

Brent Burns, a parrothead humorist, details his confessional “I Got Drunk at the Office Christmas Party” sounding half in the bag while singing. It’s half Hawaiian slack key, half party oompah, but mostly queasy.

Drink N.B. Merry: bourbon

The best of the batch for bourbon Christmas singing hails from Bob’s Burgers, a secret source of novelty music of every ilk. “The Spirits of Christmas” may ostensibly be about all merry drinking, but it doesn’t take a whole minute of listening to realize slumlord Mr. Fischoeder (Kevin Kline) has a favorite. Those who watch the end credits of the series will get why brother Felix has to skate in and out of frame the entire song.

Consume-mas Quantities: dietary restrictions

Santa should watch his intake, let’s be frank. Songs about Kris’s recommended diet include Jack Servello singing “Fat Free Santa” (sugary fun), Sha Na Na with “Santa’s on a Diet” (r’n’r mashed potatoes), The Uncle Brothers h’yucking “Santa’s Diet” (runny oompah), Michael T Hogg’s “Santa’s on a Diet” (pressed ham country), Elfish Pressley trying too hard with “Santa’s on a Weight Loss Plan” (creamed country comedy), and The Poets jamming to “Santa’s on a Diet” (delicious bluegrass).

Diets are not the gift you want that time of year. His Own gets the family together to hip hooray for gluttony with “Christmas Time is No Time to Diet.” You knew that, but did you want to sing it with the easy listening melodies here? Yum yum yum.

The Christmas Pranksters jazz up ‘Night Before’ with “‘Twas the Diet Before Christmas.” Yes, it’s the nightmare of not eating everything in sight. With the electric keyboard set to ‘glass jars.’

After Christmas diets make living hard, too. jsbarber1 posts a lovely lady singing “I’m Gonna Have to Diet After Christmas” to ‘Hipopotamus.’ She’s pretty good and I guess that takes the sting of watching what you eat out a touch.

These days, moreover, you can’t just cook ANYTHING for anyone for Xmas dinner. Allergies, GI ailments, health regimens have made grandma obsolete. Before we print the menu, let’s check in with the family and spouses to see what THEY can’t have.

Lisa sets her lament to ‘Rudolf’ and humors up the frustration in “Lisa’s Christmas Dinner Song.” Poor Lisa. Have another glass.

Perhaps the original of this late night adult talent show winner is from Sandy and Richard Riccardi. “The Holiday Dinner Party” oozes club schmaltz but does well for all that. The audience digs it.

Sweet Christmas! fruitcake 3

Some supposedly supportive songs on fruitcake are bad numbers on purpose, or they are the so-called left-handed compliment.

The bombast of M. Ryan Taylor’s “Ode to a Fruitcake” makes me suspicious. People don’t usually snigger at operatic recitals, do they?

A couple of street corner blues croakers apply their “Fruitcake Song” lyrics metaphorically to sex. They want some, but not that kind.

Spongebob Squarepants spends a few seconds touting “Hot Fruitcake” on his holiday album. It may be tongue in sponge, however.

Bubble Gum Becky from Mighty Magic Pants explodes “Someone Ate My Fruitcake!” at a high school talent holiday shindig. She wanted that dish, but if you listen carefully, she didn’t. Mold, blah, yada, blah.

Cookie Cutter Girl rocks her “Fruitcake Song” rolling out the cornucopia which includes our humble sweetbread. But little digs here and there make me question her hunger levels. This hails from the annual Seattle drag-comedy holiday revue show ‘Ham for the Holidays.’ It’s your basic show stopper.

Here’s something else you don’t see every day… for the holidays ’15 Oregon Lottery tried a Fruitcake scratch-off which did as well as anything else. Their promos from AdJab featured half songs supposedly from an album [Spirit of Fruitcake vol. 4] including “Not on My Table” (country), “What’s that Fruitcake Doing Under My Tree?” (’70s power ballad), “(The Holidays Aint Nuttin) Without My Fruitcake” (electric funk), and the most positive: “Merry Christmas Fruitcake” (lazy lounge lothario). Hey now!

Jesus Christ! three on a match

“We Three Kings” gets childish horseplay from the choirboys as a silly bit of doggerel should.

Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors show us the childish way as an immature star should.

Made up band Spinal Tap fumbles through their own I-can-only-remember-the-kids-lyrics mock up. It’s a short bit.

The most fun is the largely unclaimed “We Three Bings” from the Blame it on Christmas album (2000). The song is untouched, but the bing-isms abound bountifully.