Year-round Yuletide oddities
DMX released this (on radio as ‘What You Want’) as the third single from his third album… featured Def Soul singer Sisqó… was billed on the front cover as ‘The Biggest in Rap meets The Biggest in R&B’… subject matter was past women in DMX’s life… made it to #49 on Billboard‘s Hot 100… #11 on their Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs.
Daquan Wiltshire gets racist wit’ it in “What These Kids Want.” Laugh if you dare.
Blackstreet’s hot hit reached number one on the BillboardHot 100… also in New Zealand… number nine in the United Kingdom… ended ‘Macarena”s 14-week reign atop the Billboard Hot 100… ranked at number 91 on Rolling Stone and MTV: 100 Greatest Pop Songs… ranked at #32 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’90s… sold 1.6 million copies in 1996… won the 1998 Grammy Award for Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals… nominated for Grammy Award for Best R&B Song.
The positivism lifted up Axiom to one of these rare Christmas parodies that preaches gospel rather than sasses secular. “So Christmassy” is classy and talented. Testify to the ‘eve.
Coolio (featuring singer L.V.) released this wonder on his eponymous album sampling the chorus and instrumentation of Stevie Wonder’s 1976 song “Pastime Paradise”… was listed at number 85 on Billboard’s Greatest Songs of All-Time… number one biggest selling single of 1995 on U.S. Billboard… In 2008, it was ranked number 38 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop… was awarded a Grammy for Best Rap Solo Performance… two MTV Video Music Award’s for Best Rap Video and for Best Video from a Film and a Billboard Music Award for the song/album… was voted as the best single of the year in The Village Voice Pazz & Jop critics poll… sold over 5 million copies in the United States, United Kingdom and Germany alone, making it one of the best-selling singles of all time.
Justin Snodgrass goes the road less creative with “Christmas Paradise.” Elf life, chipmunk voice.
Kate Devin honors the wounded bird sad clown with “Christmas Single Life.” Poor her, heh heh.
Dr. Dre and Snoop Doggy Dogg from Dre’s debut solo album kicked out this first single from the album… reached number two on the Billboard Hot 100… also reached #1 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks chart… in the UK it reached #31… selected by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as one of the 500 songs that shaped rock and roll… XXL magazine named it the top hip-hop song of the decade.
Pretty Funny Girl TV rocks the boat with “Nuthin’ But a Black Santa Thang.” Political powder keg humor!
Sir Mix-a-Lot caused controversy with his outspoken and blatantly sexual lyrics about women… debuted at number 75 on the Billboard Hot 100… hit number one twelve weeks later… spent five weeks at the top of the chart… the video was briefly banned by MTV… the second best-selling song in the US in 1992… sales of 2,392,000 physical copies that year… 2008, it was ranked number 17 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Songs of Hip Hop.
Christopher ‘The Notorious’ Barnes (Southern California’s Greatest Kids’ Magician) has a little “Santa Got Back” to get you in the giving mood.
Duncan G w/Brian get funky with “Santa Got Gifts.” Look at that package!
Vanilla Ices’ best know song was the B-side to his cover of “Play That Funky Music” (not initially successful). Disc jockey David Morales played it to success: the first hip hop single to top the Billboard Hot 100… topped the charts in Australia, Belgium, the Netherlands, New Zealand, the Republic of Ireland and the United Kingdom… came in fifth in VH1 and Blender‘s 2004 list of the ’50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs Ever.’
ApologetiX goes secular with a under-weatherized stranded car during a shopping spree (prayers resulting) in “Nice Iced Pavement.” Where’s the Christ, y’all?
MC Hammer’s signature song was the winner of the Best R&B Song and a Best Rap Solo Performance and the first rap song to be nominated for Record of the Year at the 33rd Annual Grammy Awards in 1991… and won the Best Rap Video and Best Dance Video at the 1990 MTV Video Music Awards… peaked at number one in the Billboard Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles & Tracks and on the charts in several countries… hit no. 8 on the Billboard Hot 100… In 1999, MTV’s 100 Greatest Videos Ever Made ranked it at No. 71… October 2000, VH1’s “100 Greatest Dance Songs” rated it at No. 88… May 2001, VH1’s 100 Greatest Videos included it at No. 59… certified gold by 2008.
The Mistletones cover this comically with “Can’t Wrap This.” Pretty. Perhaps too pretty.
Leight Press has gotten most of the mileage from a masterful parody video by someone else. “Can’t Wrap This!” This one’s a keeper.
Tone Lōc’s song peaked at number two on the Billboard Hot 100 in… spawned at least two parodies (by ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, called ‘Isle Thing,’ about Gilligan’s Island and was Yankovic’s first rap parody, and by Christian band ApologetiX, called ‘Child King’)… eventually sold over two million copies… peaked at number 21 on the UK Singles Chart.
Not too many of these parodies get the Wikipedia nod. Go ApologetiX. Go “Child King.”
Winona Laura Horowitz had her ’90s in the sun. Her over publicized brush with the law right after her Hollywood sidewalk star let everyone know she was complicated package. Her recent return to cable TV (‘Stranger Things’) has let her play her own messed up self to some acclaim.
Fake Shark Real Zombies has a lovely tango number “Winona Ryder Hates Christmas,” but it’s all conjecture. I’m sure she’s a perfect hostess.
Drinking Christmas from now on is all booze, hooch, and spirits.
Eggnog fully loaded is the beginning of some memorable holiday get-togethers.
Starting out philosophically and stuck with rum, The Morning Squirrels keep one eye on the TV when they explain “The Eggnog Song.” Some killer guitar folking, but mind the memes boys.
Jumping ahead Canned Hamm can barely string their psychedelic pop lyrics together for “Rum and Eggnog.” Head hop holly humping huh what did he say.
Whiskey now for The Rockin’ Guys’ “Eggnog.” Hard, but southern, rocking about the aftermaths of dysfunctional family drinking.
Erica Perry twangs a bit ‘billy with her “Whiskey in My Eggnog.” Not so far gone yet, but anticipating going that far. Girl can sing.
For a change of taste Michael Hackbart, Maurice Johnson, and Elliot Live serve up “Vodka Eggnog.” Dissing whiskey results in some fun rhymes. These are nearly talented, sassy entertainers. I have to give it up for tart over talent.