Feeling guilty yet? Let me help. Not everyone can afford Christmas. I don’t mean the fools who overspend, i mean po’ folks. What do they give/get?

DL Menard riles up a zydeco lilt with “No Christmas for the Poor.” It’s Cajun French so you won’t bum out.

Paul Kramer leans hard on that fiddle to describe his “Low Budget Christmas.” Making our own gifts, but how can bluegrass be sad?

Bad news for the family with a country downbeat. “The Gift I Can Return” is a new kind of gift from Dad to kids: moralizing, self righteous, better-than-thou love. GIVE IT!

Maudlin bluegrass from Rocky Zharp tells us about “Grandpa King’ S Last Gift.” A fitting legacy in a two dollar bill.

Michael J Thoma gets more trembly about the poor boy in church who sings “I Have No Gifts,” alluding to the Drummer Kid, natch, but resulting in a country kickstarter so the kid made dolladolla.

Weepy for can’t-pay-the-bills love, Randy Beard prays for “The Christmas Gift,” the gift of their child understanding he won’t get anything. The peripeteia is a three hankie alert!

Let’s turn that frown upside down into a profanity-laden spew! Your Favorite Martian raps out “Santa Hates Poor Kids!” BLUE ALERT Fight the N. Pole!

What do you ask for Christmas when your mind goes blank? Well, Ralphie?

Kid parang from Mýaand Josh proclaim the need for toys in “Christmas Gift.” Many possibiliteis get listed (but no socks!).

More vague is the execrable TV movie jingle with the toys singing “I Wanna be a Christmas Present.” Supposedly Kenny Rogers is in there somewhere.

A much better gift POV alt-pop song comes from Juju Garcia. “Christmas Gift” is a fun exploration of creativity just this side of improv.

Pinkie Pie (of My Little Pony) sadly figures actual presents don’t matter so much in a Ritalin Dixieland rousing version of “Pinkie’s Present.” Exhausting.

Flip it! Suzy Arnowitz suggests “Let’s Bring Presents to the Bad Kids” based on some kids book.  (Wow–toboggans, books, and planes!) Concertina pop!

While on the subject “What do Bad Girls Get?” asks Joan Osborne. Smokey electric blues.

Bilbo Kipler gothraps “Gift Rap” as praise for all the swag, bitch.

The magic of sudden presents under an indoor tree excites many to write songs. And then they get recorded.

Okay, the only real stinker here is Alan Chong and the fundraising “Santa Claus Brings Presents to Town.” Chanty folk takes a dump on trad carols.

Kidsong tends to be a bit stupefying (when it’s effective) as with “Greatest Christmas Gifts,” a hoppy, happy ringing doggerel from Paul Morabito. Fun for the whole unable-to-stand family.

Smelling like Plank Road Publishing, that bastion of children’s assembly music, “Who Put the Presents Under the Tree?” is silly and shouting and (pretend) ignorant of Santa. But it’s cool swing.

Previously noted parody “Santa Got Gifts” takes a well done turn at ‘Baby Got Back.’ Duncan G with Brian provide us with holiday cheer every year–but for some reason, they’ve gone dark on the ‘tube. Somebody snitched. Poor us.

“Lots & Lots of Presents” from Ben & the Peanut Butter Problem deals with the problems of blame and white rap. Listen at your own payroll.

What to do when you’re unable to shop for Christmas?

Usually, the song is the poor man’s gift. Vincent Ortiz makes a valiant effort at this shtick in his “Broke Christmas.” It checks three items off his own wish list, so okay.

Phillip Hudson and DJ Southanbred elegantly dodge the unmoneyed moaning in “2 Broke 4 Christmas.” This hip hop may be mean and sexist, but only in the most ingenious way.

Snowman breaks up with you!

Metallically “Beware the Snowman” chills the pop out. Redeads make like a sleigh and ride.

Could adds to the sitar raga rock oeuvre with “We Are the Snowman,” a plaintive ode to the odd cold ones.

“Bob the Snowman” has no feet, but check out his dance number from Phredd. Folk rock for the sock hop.

Middle of the road easy listening pop resonates in “Snowman” from James Darby. He won’t stay, granted, but to admit that it’s the same old song… James… really?

Alt polka from Elevator Music moves your frozen feet to “Snowman Song.” That’s the ticket.

Suitcase hard rocks “This was a Snowman” about the forgotten sentinel of the outside. Or maybe a drug trip.

Kevin Kane wallows in “Snowman Blues,” an uptempo guitar beating you might need more than you think.

Pop blues sympathizes with that lonely figure of geometry in Ernest J. Papay’s “Snowman.” Ends hopefully enough.

Mo’ cold, mo’ blues. “No Man Like a Snowman” becries the sad state of Reba Russell Band’s romantic adventures. Brrr.

“Mr. Snowman Blues” is chilling at the party like no other. Renah Wolzinger dances around perhaps the coolest of all snowmen i’ve heard sung about. On the cover, looks like a kids’ album, but deep jazz blues.

Amy Jill and Bradley Williams (why so many firstnames?!) between exhortations of ‘Merry Christmas’ chase the ingredients of “The Snowman” into sad formation. Melancholy even.

It would be so simple if John Safranko were a “Snowman.” Pop organ soft shoe to dismiss all those troubles. Except when he wishes for a tuba. What?

XTC wants to know, in their own tribal folk pop way, why she treats him like a “Snowman.” Wah.

Buford Pope has a folk rock diagnosis of his “Snowman” of Dylanesque proportions. He’s not gonna make it.

Sometimes the angst (off the holiday topic) is sooo cool, i have to hip you to it. The Wiyos serve us up a slab of speakeasy jazz so smokey mokey you have to give an ear, dad. “Snowman.” ‘Nuff said.

Wizards of Boat’s “Melted Snowman theSnowman” psychedelically folk guitars the possibilities to keep you guessing. I guess.

Roger Miller scat plays to The Fulltones’ advantage whilst singing about missing his love, feeling like “The Snowman.” Road ‘grass of the finest drivin’ kind.

Let’s all get along. “Don’t Knock Over My Snowman” warns Bryan McCabe, but i think he means don’t shake his basic life principles. R+B rock.

Ennui leads Jefferson Pepper to feel like a “Plastic Illuminated Snowman” with the bulb burned out. Likeable country rock, but it don’t get much worse a message.

Loneliness from the homegrown UK hip hop of Stephen Thomas. But “The Stylish Snowman” updates the looking for love in all the wrong places and broadens our minds as to the transitional states of matter (solid, liquid, gas) and why we don’t have to be so narrow. Clever by two.