Category Archives: Gospel/hymnal

It’s All Relative, from afar

Nothing measures love like the cost of a plane ticket. Will you travel ALL the way over the river AND through the woods to get to the Christmas jubilee at PeePaw’s and MeeMaw’s? Well, then you win Best Child, ya ol’ prodigal, you.

Some of those out-of-towners ain’t so welcome, y’see. Duck Logic Comedy counsel you with folksy patience in “An Extended Family Christmas.” Who are all these weirdos?

Just as twisted, the elderly reunion of Olivia Newton John and John Travolta for Christmas in the country pop “I Think You Might Like It” is as authentic as her lips and his orientation. Ooky.

Soul directs Ron Tyson to appreciate the whole pack when he croons “I’m Gonna be with My Family for Christmas.” Finger popping and doo-doo-dooing ensues. (And tears.)

Modern folk gospel sets the scene for Vincent Knight’s “Family Christmas.” This honest prayer of returning home is sad, sweet, and solemn.

It’s All Relative, not enough

It could always be worse. Too much family for Christmas! How ’bout NO family for Christmas? Even Scrooge had a nephew came to say hey.

Now, it is possible to make millions with a kid who wants NO family. The Gregory Brothers songify a brilliant bit “The Home Alone Song.” Hilarity intones.

Cam Clarke, the voice of a million cartoon characters, showcases the orphan’s showtune “Family” from the cartoon feature ‘Night Before Christmas: Songs from Enchanted Tales.’ Pretty sad.

What’s rougher than orphanism ’round the holidays? Having to hear about it from pop country sermonizers! Newsflash Singers tell you when you to cry with “I Want a Family for Christmas.” The kid’s con works pretty well… i mean, happy endings for all!

Steven Curtis Chapman plays the little tough orphan who hopes for redemption. “All I Really Want for Christmas” is gospel pop with a better guiding hand on the heartstrings.

It’s All Relative, activities

Can’t play games ’til all the family members up. Let’s play!

Bad families have their own button-pushing to get done, certainly. I hesitate to mention Robert Earl Keene‘s big holiday hit as it strikes me as an accepted number in the Christmas canon. So, i’ll turn on Julie Sobule’s cover as it eases off the beatbox rhythm and adds just a touch of heart (and not just ‘cuz it’s HER brand of ciggies). “Merry Christmas from the Family” to alt-country your novelty needs (and the next to happy ending).

Beginners hearken to Banyan Global Learning, whose “Family Christmas Song” will teach you customs and the English language too. Kids pop.

Anita Wilson sashays some middle of the road soul with “Family Christmas.” This is some tribute to heart-warming fun, y’all. And, i suspect, karaoke will be proposed.

Naomi Hooley pounds on the ol’ pianner with some upbeat churchy country assigning roles in her “Family Christmas.” Her loving managing might make this the best ever holiday. I’m in.

ReduXmas: Jeeze!

With all the great music out there for our holiday’s founder (CFO: Santa, natch), i attempted to collate honorariums with ironies about that baby. Great songs are harder to find. So let’s party like we don’t believe!

First off, “Jesus Christ! It’s Your Birthday Again” reminds Wendell Ferguson with comic country timing. But who’s counting?

“Jesus the Reindeer” by Emmy the Great and Tim Wheeler plays havoc with myth-understanding the reason for the trees and candy. Fun alt.

Kids say the darnedest things. The Creek Church out of nowhere Kentucky took what kids said and made a soul-filled noel to Jesus with “I’ve Seen a Turtle Barf.” You gotta. Just look.

And Ages lectures us that Jesus is the “Reason for the Season (You Dig?)” with their garage folk. Otherwise, it’d be Bhudda-mas or Mohammed-mas. Yeah. Not so, like, holy.

Steven Courtney, as JC, allows “Jesus is the Star” and asks for a candy bar. Crazy R+B pop.

Smoky country from Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains proclaims “The Ballad of Baby Jesus,” like he’s a cowboy or sumpin.

Celebrationally, Holidelic funk up the partay with “Nativitay.” Take notes, the whole, cool deal is dealt with.

Reverentially, American Mars pop folks “The Little Baby Jesus” with just the right amount of woo woo country train sounds ushering in the new born.

Best of parody: The Withers land their song about the highway to the “Manger Zone,” a tease of Kenny Loggins’s 1986 ‘Top Gun’ hit song. With guitar solo. And sass.

Oddest is Barnes and Barnes Sunday schooling “Jesus is Groovy.” Full of faux pas (‘never cross…’ ‘get behind me and help me sing this song…’ ‘he really turns me on…’).

I also enfolded the fam for the whole birthing scene. “Proud Mary” by Watkins and the Rapiers wonders what Mary’s take on the whole Advent was. Not a Tina Turner parody. Well, not actually. Kind of.

Take a Card: soft gospel

Kumbaya, it’s not far from folk song to small circle church music. Actual gospel should raise the roof and shake the foundations of your assumptions.

Some lite-country music is so singsongy and single-minded that it should only be played for small gatherings–Amen! Paul Walden’s “A Penny Christmas Card” drawls a direct line from the card to you and God. Yahweh-Haw.

But Blaise Manino gives us a sweet often on-key flip through some “Christmas Cards” focusing on the message ‘Be Good,’ which i guess beats out ‘be a good song.’

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: real

The Indigo Girls don’t shy away from a healthy dose of irony, but here with “Your Holiday Song” they get authentic, beating out a gospel folk you can salute. Join in.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: curative carols

Gospel might heal, so carols certainly uplift. The Statler Brothers spread the word with their Bible belt corn mush, preaching to the choir. “The Carols Those Kids Used to Sing” is a carol they sing. If you’re not a member you may not have heard of ’em.

As Seen on TV: A Different World

Originally a spinoff from The Show of He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named, this college-set sitcom featuring race relations and whatnot came into its own balancing haha and uhoh way back in the day before woke was a thing you said.

Costars included Sinbad and Jada Pinkett, but one episode had Patti LaBelle singing a snippet of her own Christmas song “Nothing Could be Better.” Popspel.

As Seen on TV: The David Frost Show

That Was the Week That Was launched a BBC moderator into a television personality. By 1970 David Frost was cool enough to co-launch his background music band leader’s Christmas album Merry Christmas from David Frost and Billy Taylor. This is NOT a TV serial, but i’m invoking my executive veto by including this vanity news/interview programme album, ‘cuz it’s happenin’.

Largely instrumental then, like the hep jazz piece “Bright Star in the East” introduced with some wit by Frost.

But the strength of this album is the gospel that probably resonates through every church in late December, but doesn’t get enough airplay. So close your eyes, raise your hands, and sway.

“Stable Down the Road” from Ella Mitchell uplifts.

“Wexforde Carole” from Gerri Granger transcends.

Then “Rise Up Shepherd” by Joseph Crawford discos down.

Presents of Mine: gee and/or jay whiz

Piggybacking off the big guy, many noel-ators point out that Jesus is the gift. Period. They beat that oxen to death with drivel and doggerel. Yet, a couple presents-in-the-manger pieces are listenable.

Gotta give it up for James Brown, the hardest to understand man in show business for “A Gift,” a disco-soul hymn to all things (incl. God).

Smoothing out the backbeat with a picturesque family scene of suicide Shirley Lee evokes a meaningful Nativity in the alt-folk “The Christmas Present.” Not the same old observance.

Grace in Christmas take the time to stop and think (and shatter glass) with gospel poppin’ in “A Gift on Your Birthday.” Point is, all y’all swapping presents, but whose day is it?!