Category Archives: garage

Take a Card: addresser

Grasping at straws we include a (fine) song from Rob Snarski what sings the inscription on the “Christmas Card from a Drunken Sailor.” I wish the (few) cards i got had so much writing in them! Dreamy alt folk.

Country gospel from Christopher Toland honoring “Mama’s Christmas Card for You.” Reverentially formulaic.

Spoken country from Merle Haggard belaboring every detail on “Grandma’s Homemade Christmas Card.” Where’s the 5$?

“A Christmas Card from Daddy” by Mike Bryant lets me know what to get Daddy in return: singing lessons! Yikes.

Also all heart and no caliber, Noel Delisle nasal-croons “Christmas Card from a Servicemember.” Quit with the jolly, get guilty feeling.

Same Sex Mary and Jack Johnson bring it home with “Christmas Card from a Gary in Las Vegas.” It’s not a straight parody of the Tom Waits ‘Hooker’ non-Xmas song, but spiritually, it’s beholden. (Eventually it gets ‘billy rager-garage BLUE ALERT [!?].)

Take a Card: garage

Early punk music was raw, unincorporated groups blasting their own version of rock (angrier, smellier) out of their homes.

Joyce Manor nails the bangin’ painful reverb with “Christmas Card” a poetic polemic about trying to understand. BLUE ALERT

French Style Furs add some professional grad gear to their growlings in their “Christmas Card.” Still pissed, though.

999 sounds cheap and a little Jerry Lee Lewis with their “Christmas Cards.” They try to send ’em, but they’re just not smart enough.

Modern garage gets prettier with traits of lounge, folk, and opera. “The Unwritten Christmas Card” is still a symbol for something bad, but dig the distorted sax.

Presents of Mine: charge of the blight to fade

Singalong and bitch! Even though using too much credit for Christmas shopping is wrong, it gives us something to sing about.

Cheery retro Brit pop care of Jacky Rogue festoons “Broke for Christmas.” On your feet! Sway with lighter extended!

Bouncy punk pop from Boston… Boston, England, that is. 50 sniffs dares us to enjoy a “Credit Card Christmas” through liberal libating. (Santander, btw, is a bank over there.)

Gnarly garage rock with a Beatles-like lilt fires up The BBB’s “Credit Card Christmas.” I wanna hold your debt, yeah yeah yeah.

Tremendous Holiday Fun: Tree Time Activities

Don’t just sit there, do something around the tree!

Sammy Kaye and His Orchestra paint us an orchestral chorale “All Around the Christmas Tree.” It’s a family jamboree of appreciation!

Loeksband can’t help “Singing by the Christmas Tree.” He names as many of the carols as he can fit in to his bluegrass pop. But, it worry about his back up bears. They don’t look so good.

Allie Jo Thomas got some sharp country charm in her kid songs. “Gonna Run Around the Christmas Tree” may have one YeeHaw! too many, but it’s quite the celebratory way to wear out the little rascals so they’ll sleep.

“Wrap Me ‘Round the Christmas Tree Tonight” asks The Bossy Fairy in the grade school musical. Patricia Lee takes the childish blues home with her need to shimmy.

Wrapping now, Nadine Bryant phrases the idea of what’s important through jump blues with “Wrap Happy All Around Your Christmas Tree.” What color bow ‘top your bliss, miss?

Watch Out for Rockets took on the trend of the “Upside Down Christmas Tree” to celebrate just how shiny fun the state of mind is no matter how you tilt it. Just when you thought you had that tree just right… Garage lite if you please.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: funny 1

Let’s shovel the ‘Frosty’ parodies off the lot right away. Most of those are drug-related and i’ve done what i can to eliminate all coke=snow songs from the last couple months. Most of the others are amateurish at best. Here are some i can stand.

BLUE ALERT Afroman has studied the naughty “Frosty” and discerned it’s sexual habits. Learn, if you dare.

Don Ohman (‘The Singing Roofer’) is also misogynisticly offensive with “New Years: Frozen the Snowwoman Song.” She was asking for it, dressing like that.

Back to BLUE ALERTs Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown goes low class UK with obscene carol parodies, staring with “Frosty.” Crude, rude, and bawdy parts galore. John Valby does more or less then same thing, without as much anatomica.

Matt Rogers’s overused “Frosty the Pervert” rounds out the trifecta of BLUE ALERTs. That’s enough, boys.

Bubba Claus pretends he’s drunk singing “Frosty the Beer Mug.” Apart from a strip poker ref, blue-free tawdriness.

On the other mitten, Dan Collins acquits himself admirably with “Jesus the Savior.” He yells ‘Catch me if you can!’ after tipping moneylenders stands. And what does he sub in for thumpity-thump thump?! Look!

Homer and Jethro have a 1953 novelty bit about “Frosty the De-Frosted Snowman” down on the farm. Okay, don’t believe me! I see your corn and raise you pone.

The best tribute to Frosty doesn’t use the melody at all. Fandango Quartet has mixed results singing the right lyrics to ‘O Holy Night.’ their friends like it…..

Sufjan Stevens updates the rascally rogue with his garage-tastic “Mr. Frosty Man.”

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: pop 7

Let’s foreclose our popular music songs about snowmen with what the kids call the latest thing.

“Big Snowman” from Navarro plays alt with our ices. Protect your hearts, ‘migos.

Dale and the Deadheads narrate a long ago time when snow came down like snow. “Bill, the Snowman” is a beatnik throwback comedy bit worth a party play.

Guided by Voices, did i tell you this already, drop “Doughnut for a Snowman” as prog rock pretty pop. I can’t remember what i was talking about….

Experimetnal jazz screaming from Cattle Drums. “Snowman Won’t Melt” eventually rocks every which way but on key.

Folk blues psychedelia doesn’t begin to describe “Jon the Snowman” by Jack Spann. Look out.

Dreamy psychedelia, “The Waving Snowman,” make The Wytches the band to watch.

Gregory Scott Slay bases his “Visit with a Snowman” on a visit with a snowman. More psychedelic rock with a metal backbeat. Snowman laid down this track, too. BLUE ALERT

Angry but oh so danceable is the punk BLUE ALERT “Viki is a Snowman.” The Jims holler largely for one minute.

Odd but danceable, “Ex-Snowman” by Big City fills you required ironic pop daily allowance.

Nihilistic pop from The Naked Picassos warns about that watching “Snowman.” Run, kids.

Disco funk expressed by Holidelic results in “Snowman’s Lament.” Give ’em snowballs! Watch out!

Pop mixed media allows Strangejuice to get sentimental, yet surreal, with their “Snowman.”

Pop punk garage by Go Eat Worms make “vs. the Snowman” a saga of surprising power.

Angry garage separates “Snowman” into three round balls. The Fezz throws gas on the fire of mujsic.

Emo garage from Kenzi Gregory unravels joy with “My Snowman.” Well, more than one. They don’t last. Hate my life.

Grrl garage pounding from The Ravens. “Evil Frosty Snowman” is not what you think it is.

Banging garage metal from Nothing to Envy portrays “Yeltsin the Snowman” as a scary monster. Surprized?

Record label Flying Bomb has been an outlet for punk, garage, experimental music since the ’90s. White Stripes got their toehold to success here. Now let’s dip into their phenomenal Xmas compilation from ’02. Happy Supply’s “Young Snowman Got It Bad, ‘Cause He’s So Round” puts the frozen one back on the street, in a cheerful love song.

This comes by way of good buddy Pete the Elf.

Anthropomorphic Snow Sculpture: abominable detour 9

Time to get weird with the cryptomorphs!

Experimental rock with Bertolt Brecht alienation comes from Nick Siegel’s “The Abominable Snowman Struggles with Loneliness.” Great concept album, still just sad songs.

Chemicals overlays industrial percussion on top of beat poetry voiced as if by a ten-year-old. See if “Abominable Snowman” doesn’t live up to that!

Islands rocks the garage with progressive experimentation in “Abominable Snowman,” more about their performing endurance than the disparate elements. Their box cashed back to earth from outer space. Dig me?

Snow Way: too too too

Can’t stop the snow! Must adapt or play!

Children’s Christmas Songs and Stories frolics with “The Snow is Here to Stay.” Upbeat.

Wm. Fitzsimmons whispers gentle alt-folk with “Covered in Snow.” You’ll learn to love it.

Hot Buttered Elves get dangerously garage with “Too Much Snow.” Drugs were involved.

Nipsey deals out protest rockabilly with “Too Much Snow.” He might mean on the TV.

Peter Vesth plays some lounge country ‘with friends’ for “Too Much Snow on the Ground.”

Tender country pickin’ from Wendell Ferguson (feat. Katherine Wheatley) in “99 Feet of Snow.” Snuggly fun.

Bel Air has some driving difficulties bc of “Too Much Snow.” Gnarly garage crooning.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1999 “Kryptonite”

The 3 Doors Down song was originally released as a demo for local play by 97.9 WCPR-FM in Biloxi, Mississippi… first charted on the Mainstream Rock Tracks chart reaching number-one for 9 weeks… then hit the Modern Rock Tracks also staying at number-one for 11 weeks… one of the longest-running songs on the chart… reached number one on the Pop Songs chart for 5 non-consecutive weeks… peaked at number 4 on the Adult Top 40 chart… number 3 on the Billboard Hot 100… the band’s highest-charting single there.

ApologetiX feel with the birth of JC with their “Christmasnite.” Hard rocking gospelity.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1966 “Time Won’t Let Me”

The Outsiders worked up a major hit out of garage rock…. reaching #5 on the Billboard Hot 100… ranked as the 42nd biggest American hit of 1966.

The ’60s Invasion have twisted it into an ode to present shaking in “Mom Won’t Let me.”