Category Archives: eezee lisseneen

Take a Card: mor

Middle of the road music (for programming ‘beautiful music’ radio stations back in the ’70s) became a way to appeal to the corn belt without rocking the boat. This was less exciting than popular music, and less artistic than classical. It plain lacked talent so as to fill in the background and not arouse attention, and became known as ‘elevator music’ or the brand name Muzak.

Professional MOR-on Pat Boone (sadly past his prim prime here) embodies our message with “Christmas Cards.” Cliched, but mellow.

While not aged or old, Gregg Charmly resuscitates MOR with “My Christmas Card to You” song. It’s not about anything. Don’t listen except ironically.

Also beating the dead horse, Don Adams sends a melodramatic melancholic “Xmas Card form the Other Side.” It’s quavering blues, but without authenticity. Blahs-ville.

I count epic orchestration as show tune, and nothing fulfills my requirements more than Jerry Becker’s “The Man Who Writes the Cards,” with notes of Gilbert & Sullivan, Lerner and Lowe, maybe a touch of Irving Berlin. Wow.

“My Christmas Card to You” from faded Broadway chanteuse Marni Nixon tests the definition of ‘song.’ Uncontrolled warbling about what she’d write on your card is what will be playing in the waiting room of my hell. [This version comes with voice over instructions for the elderly.]

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: I of the Needle

So, would you like to meet your tree? Strike up the band!

Gene London pitched the idea of being a Christmas tree his own self in “A Walking Talking Christmas Tree.” Hang a star! ’60s pop. (Tip of the pointy hat to Pete the Elf for connecting me to that one.)

As Thoreau said: personify, personify, personify. Wild Man Fisher screams it best with his original “I’m a Christmas Tree” (although some of you might know his developed duet with Dr. Demento a bit better).

Metal messiness wherein Distortion Ride claims everyone suffers like holiday decorations. “Christmas Tree Blues” is more prog than blues, but it makes you depressed regardless… oh, and BLUE ALERT

The whole life cycle of horror show from POV tree comes thus in unplugged ‘Tannenbaum’ parody from Gordy Pratt with “I’m the Christmas Tree.” Not worth your pity.

More listenable comes Solea Pfeiffer with “Christmas Tree Blues.” Funny for the hollerin’ blues.

To help “A Christmas Tree’s Wish” answers the timeless question with a wandering pop plodder from Missy The Elf & Tom Moore. (Spoiler: it wishes to be the Times Square tree.) BTW that tree left our last tree a song “Rockefeller Tree” from I am The World Trade Center. Sitar psychedelia. (YOU figure that out, i’m tired.)

Nat King Cole hand delivers “I’m the Happiest Christmas Tree” Class on Delivery. It’s pop, and it does.

Snow Way: fun fight

For some, fun equals violence. Weapons made of wintery wonder!

Let’s start out slowly: “The First Snowball of the Season” is a baseball themed puffery by The Golden Orchestra & Singers. Strike One!

Off topically, Devo has a philosophically angst number “Snowball.” Electronica whene’er we can.

The tots’ ode to “Snowball Fight” has lyrics by Alan Katz to the so-called tune of ‘Jingle Bells.’ Should we teach this?

Gateway Christian Academy has their Snow Day announcement as a parody of Rachel Platten’s ‘Fight Song’ aka “Snowball Fight Song.” Hilarious revenge tactics for a church-sponsored children’s notice.

Jimmy Fallon shrugs on his punk coat for “Snow Fight.” S’no fun, really.

Bunch of Believers take the ska road for “Snowball Fight.” Just as danceable, but more poetic.

North Pole Patrol sasses up the sexy with a (small) big band torch number “Snowball Fight.”

BLUE ALERT (no, really) from Weekend Nachos and their blink-and-you’ll-miss-it “Snowball Fight.” Metal.

The Happy Racers big band their pop for “Snowball Fight.” It’s bouncy, rockin’ fun about putting out your eye. Duck!

Parodies’ Paradise: 1969 “Sweet Caroline”

Neil Diamond’s super smash was completely titled ‘Sweet Caroline (Good Times Never Seemed so Good).’ It hit #4 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart… eventually went platinum… hit #3 on the US, Easy Listening chart… might’ve been about JFK’s kid… still gets play in Fenway Park, many Irish football games, and cricket.

Joel Kopischke sings a Christmas song about singing Christmas song singing (i’ve got to devote a month to that) in “Sweet Caroling.”

Parodies’ Paradise: 1969 “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head”

The number written by Hal David and Burt Bacharach for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid won an Academy Award for Best Original Song… was recorded by B. J. Thomas in seven takes… the single reached number 1 on charts in the United States, Canada, Norway and reached number 38 in the UK Singles Chart… topped the Billboard Hot 100 for four weeks… spent seven weeks atop the Billboard adult contemporary chart… Billboard ranked it as the No. 4 song of the year… according to Billboard magazine, itsold over 2 million copies by March 14, 1970, with eight-track and cassette versions also climbing the charts.

The Happiest Guys in the World tackle this frivolously with “Snowflakes!” Not too faithful to the source.

Moke Hilding gives “Snowflakes Keep Falling on My Head” a turn. It never gets too deep.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1965 “Yesterday”

The Beatles’ melancholy reflective ode was nominated for six Grammys in total that year, and  its album Help! was also nominated in four categories… won the Ivor Novello Award for “Outstanding Song of 1965″… ranked 13th on Rolling Stone’s 2004 list “The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time”… and fourth on the magazine’s list “The Beatles 100 Greatest Songs” (compiled in 2010)… inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1997… voted the best song of the 20th century in a 1999 BBC Radio 2 poll of music experts and listeners… voted the No. 1 pop song of all time by MTV and Rolling Stone magazine 1998…criticised for being mundane and mawkish… BBC (2012) reported that it remained the fourth most successful song of all-time in terms of royalties paid, having amassed a total of £19.5 million in payments (more than 2,200 cover version) one of the most covered songs in the history of recorded music… after Muzak switched in the 1990s to programs based on commercial recordings, its inventory grew to include about 500 covers…  Broadcast Music Incorporated (BMI) asserts that it was performed over seven million times in the 20th century.

Yeah, so let’s make some merry! The Mistletones bring their odd parody skills (with glass bells) to “Holidays.” Stresses the right notes.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1961 “Can’t Help Falling in Love”

Elvis’s slow dance ballad topped the British charts… was certified by the RIAA as a Platinum record, for US sales in excess of one million copies… peaked at number two on the US pop chart… went to number one on the Easy Listening chart for six weeks.

ApologetiX couldn’t resist the wise men referent, hence “Wise Men Still.” Whadja bring?

Parodies’ Paradise: 1953 “That’s Amore!”

Okay, douglove needs a little holiday break….

For the next couple months i will share the sincerest form of flattening, copying someone else’s tune. But inserting a Christmas song to it! Totally. Some people are spot on this paro-deus form of musicality. Bob Rivers is the Obi Wan of it all. ApologetiX will be featured again and again as masterful Christian cover-makers. Robert Lund (from FuMP) fills in FM stations with his latest jiggery pokery. My man here Joel Kopischke has a cottage industry in performing little shows THAT time of year. As do The ’60s Invasion. Many amateurs post their talents. Other big deal ‘tubers (like KeyofAwesome) bring studio quality to the fun.

So, we’ll wend our way through the decades, stealing stats from Wikipedia to clue you in to the monster hits that are the targets here. (None of the originals will be linked; they aren’t Xmas. So there.)

Let’s get going.

Dean Martin’s signature number tumbled out of his Martin-Lewis pic ‘The Caddy’ and was nominated for an Academy award. It hit number 2 as a single later and has followed him like the smell of cheese since (many enjoy that smell).

Gentile Joel Kopischke reminds of of other holidays with “That’s a Menorah.” Sing a long! Now just the Jews!

Behold a Star: Jay Leno

“Jay My Cutie” to ‘Santa Baby’ by Vicki Owens. She’s got everything except a sound check. (What’s that?)

Behold a Star: Patrick Swayze

Action stars aren’t always romantic leads, but Patrick Swayze was People’s Sexiest Man of the Year in 1991. Because he was so sensitively in ‘The Outsiders’ and ‘To Wong Foo…’ and even ‘Ghost’ he gets a pass as a boot-to-the-head lunk. Cool guy.

The Mystery Science Theatre Three Thousand jokers have a mini-hit on their hands with “Let’s Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas.” It’s a gentle blend of mean and fun with some lifting vocals.