Category Archives: eezee lisseneen

WAR! the stand(down)

Irony cuts both ways. While touting one idea beyond the pale, the humorist wishes to make the point that said idea is beyond okay. Yet, the sis and the boom and the bah waggle it in our face so tantalizingly. When you use sarcasm, first dig two graves.

Watkins & The Rapiers paint a pretty worst case scenario about when to wish what to whom with “Are You Man Enough (To Say Merry Christmas)?” The digs are torturous with the soft jazzy folk (Salvation Army influenced).

Horrible sopranos aren’t all tributes to Mike Douglas’s Mrs. Miller, but Dysfunctional Family featuring Metropolitan Melinda taking on the left with “Politically Correct Christmas” sure takes me back. This song gets made over for the Christian right here and there, but who’s getting poked after all?

It’s All Relative, the good stuff

I started out this month looking to compare Christmas novelty songs about loving family and loathing family. I’m going to have to admit the good outweighs the bad in quantity and quality. So let’s cap off the festivities with some coolcoolcool numbers i’ll listen to more than once.

Gene Wang leads a jazz ensemble in “Christmas Means Family” that knows how to set a mood. And the mood is good.

Here’s some new age dance music. The pagan party spirit of “Christmas in Your Family’s Arms” makes me think i can dance (i can’t really). Cheryl Hillier haunts my visions of sugarplums.

Pop country leaves me feelin’ empty inside. So imagine my surprise that Stephen Day’s “Family Christmas” uplifts me. Is it the blues underlying the tempo? Is it the irreverent folk? Gotta recommend.

Luigi Scaglione (later known by his performing name “Lou Monte”) hit with ‘Bella Notte’ and ‘Darktown Strutters’ Ball’ and is even known to Christmas novelty with ‘Dominick the Donkey.’ But “Christmas at Our House” is a saucy meatball of ethnic hammery. 1960 we all wished our family was that loving and close. Joe Dolce (the ‘Shaddup You Face’ guy) covers this even more sweetly (in 1981 when racism was more funny).

It’s All Relative, lovelovelove

If love had a center, it should be in the home. All the possibilities of growth, hope, being begin in a happy warm hearth. Christmas, we could wish, is the opportunity to express, share, and achieve the pinnacle of that completion.

Patch the Pirate (?!) creates a musical cartoon for the ears with “Christmas at Our House,” a religious orgasm of happy family time. Quaint kidsong.

Errol Brown electro-R+Bs “Family Christmas Time” to the pinnacle of ecstacy. Family is it, man. Nuthin’ better.

Soaring above the mundanity Ann Hampton Calloway (and sis Liz) praise and ask “God Bless My Family.” Not so much with the Christmas gathering, but a pretty good contribution to the spirit of the holiday.

It’s All Relative, past perfect

The best families are the ones we frame up in gauzy, filmy memories. Were they ever so golden? Who cares, nostalgia makes us real!

Peter Scales picks and grins “Christmas with Our Family” as a tribute to yesteryear. This alt folk gazes through amber to see great food, presents, and family in rosy hues. Sigh.

Poorly tracked so that the guitar drowns out the vocals (thank you) Dave Seely unthaws 1966 to jazz croon “The Family Christmas.” Sounds like a stroke.

The Four Preps are really old but sing about being young. Recall “The Family Time of Year” with them on the oldy oldies wavelength with old fashioned sentiment and expression that doesn’t mean much any more.

A real purdy piano noodle from Silent Film enlarges the past with “Christmas at Our House.” Then the violin and… i’m a mess! Poetic.

It’s All Relative, holy god

Family for Christmas might mean filling the pew out (hey, what’s the sound of bullet ricochets off church benches??). Mo’ people, mo’ prayers. Mass-ive!

Discover Worship has a kidsong to teach you the lineage of JC. Cute. But i can’t listen to “Jesus’ Family Tree” without thinking of Yakko’s State Capital song.

Lloyd Zuniga and Mary Murphy-Zuniga blend mom and dad voices for “A Family Christmas” that’s all about The One Way… and hot chocolate.

Can’t get enuf of the Mark Dubbeld family singing for the Fox 21 Morning News. This is the no-fear talent show local set belting out “Warm Family Christmas” as hard as God’ll let ’em. The more they mention The Savior, the bigger they smile!

It’s All Relative, the cooking

We’ve covered the casserole dishes repeatedly over the years, but food = family, unless you’re some heathen McDonalds-ite for Xmas.

Yumminess from Bing Crosby reprising “Christmas Dinner, Country Style.” Big band country curdled with square dance steps. But it’s all about family.

Encore for “Aunt Clara’s Christmas Casserole” a Ray Stevens/Andy Griffith har-de-har country comic mashup from Dann & Yeaney. Clean your plate!

Most inappropriate is the returning hit, “Grandma’s Christmas Dinner.” It’s folk/bluegrass black comedy from Paul and Storm. Be ready to run.

Dr. Duke Tomatoe offers a new dish with “Christmas at Grandma’s”–another comic take on emetic cuisine. Pop easy listening fun about family torture.

It’s All Relative, so proud

Is it just so wonderful to see all them again with love in their hearts and gifts in their laps? Are you turning to mush inside?

David DeBoy comedy brags about the family with the “Flegman Family Christmas Letter” using easy listening oomph. Ha!

Ritchie Remo seesaws his pop country doggerel into “Christmas Family.” I include this ‘cuz of the touch of killer fiddle and purdy tenor, but background only….

Just as metronomic, Lizzie West and Baba Buffalo praise/miss the warm hearth with their “Family Christmas.” Earnest folk tearjerking.

Nicholas Cunha plays the good son card with the well meant and talented “Family (An Original Christmas Song.” It’s serious as a loaf of bread.

It’s All Relative, bugs

Without the holidays you might never wad the kidlings into the SUV and trek all the way over to the ‘rents. It’s so much work to see ’em get older and more clueless; it’s so draining to put up with their expectations and judgments.

So here’s to the family! Love/hate ’em! And then turn into ’em!

Each day of this month we’ll listen to songs that thrive in the lap of mommy & daddy and then pit them against songs that howl about the dysmerogenetic dysfunctional dementia from the descendants. Winner takes all for 24hrs.

The Dropkick Murphys have already blessed us with “The Season’s Upon Us.” The unkind kin are trotted out celtic punk-style like unwashed laundry flags. Oi.

Buttered corn from 1959 serves up Dennis Day fresh from The Jack Benny Show warbling “Christmas is For the Family.” More listing, almost all the way over, but this time about the fun activities that bring big, fat smiles to all.

Deadly serious, the winner is the cover of that same cheese by The Christmas Crickets, released the same year, but rereleased–now with irony–in 2011. Ladies and generalists, i give you “Christmas is For the Family” insect infestation.

EX-Mas, do over

Oh, there’s a song or two about wanting my baby back for Christmas. Let’s touch on the treasure trove of time-travel wishes.

O.B. Buchana smooves the soul with “Santa Bring My Baby Back.” It’s almost hypnotic with insistency. Then there’s the deep bass Barry-White one-on-one with Santa at the end.

Girl rock from Glam Skanks also asks those who can to “Bring My Baby Back for Christmas.” More into the guitar solo than the romance, you ask me.

Country blues from Seckond Chaynce listing the wants/needs for Xmas. “Santa Just Brang Her Home” he drawls, just Jesus won’t.

Alexandra Lawerentz infuses pop into the country blues so all’s that’s left is pop. “Bring My Baby Back (for Christmas)” is just crying to the music. (The zombie reinterp video accompaniment is sufficiently odd enough to warrant a wink and a nod.)

Owen Adams goes easy listening with a soft pop “Christmas Wish” hoping she’ll come back. This is the cornpone you’ve been looking for.

ReduXmas: United We Christmas Tree Stand (BLUE ALERT)

My collection of Xmas (about USA) songs was a mishmash of odd references. Couldn’t tell if i was saluting or kneeling. (Aren’t those both reverential?)

Take Brian Kinder’s “Fruitcake” song that invokes the founding fathers. What in the name of children’s music is that?

The Hamilton parody on Rudolph was so good, Six13 returns with a Hanukkah Hamilton, entitled “A Hamilton Chanukah.” Tangentially American. Wait, The Maccabeats do this, too? Theirs is called “Hasmonean.”

Most of the down home corpone i shoveled out was about how much we miss our troops this time of year (Marc Sardou’s “Soldiers Christmas” and Dr. BLT’s “Daddy’s Gone off to War (On Christmas Day)“), or about how patriotic we can be (Carly Clo’s “Christmas Time in America“). Talented, but so oversentimental as to be boring.

Biting the hand, Johnny Setlist pushes 1st Amendment limits with a BLUE ALERT bit o’ the irony “Christmas in America (Every Single Day).” Folkabilly that hits that mandolin hard, mocking by protesting too much in honor of.

Just as funning, F. Lobot intones ‘The Night Before’ to the karaoke of ‘Star-Spangled’: Yes, it’s “The Star-Spangled Christmas Tree.” Stand up, godammit.

What i DID not pursue that first iteration was that political ping pong tournament of Dems v. Reps. You want that hairpulling, read whichever news appeals to you. But i have found an irreverent easy listening country piece about how both sides should get along for the holidays. It’s BLUE ALERT time, so take a tranq, get comfy, and listen patiently to Red State Update’s “Divided Nation Christmas.” (It’s like ten years old, so historical… and what’s the saying about tragedy + time = comedy…?)