The Long Ryders, of The Paisley Underground, get my attention with “Christmas in New Zealand,” alt-country about how they’re down under without you–so far away in America (less than ten thousand, actually–maybe Ireland, if you don’t fly? All right, the way the Earth works, you can never be more than 12,450 miles from anyone; so, poetic license). The song, however, is great stuff.
Is one in a million exceptional any more?
Love returns with Fran Archer and Tom Bell’s soul-searching “You’re One in a Million.” This dirge is on a Xmas album. So there.
Tenille Townes decorates her “One in a Million” with much more Christmas imagery. Still loving, but real soul.
“Becoming Santa” may not sound like a one in a million shot, but Swedish Metal Mafia make the most of the concept.
Dr. Elmo mixes greed with underachievement (and cornball country pop) for his “Christmas Millionaire.” The lyrics claim he wishes he had a hit Christmas song and got rich… Hang on, he’s done that. Oooh, the irony!
Derek A. Dempsey’s wacky metaphors may have graced the blog before, but his country cum hipster coffee house poetry matters, dammit! “Six Billion Lights (On the World’s Biggest Christmas Tree)” may have undercounted the world’s population for better syncopation, or, as i believe, has left out the pagans.
Some ask questions about the flying sleigh ‘cuz they’re big fat doubters. They’re not going to believe any of your mumbo jolliness.
Even though Arne Hansen & The Guitarspellers saw how “Reindeer Can Fly” themselves, they still question. the physics and natural science of it all. It can’t be… seeing is not believing… they even swear slightly. Driving pop.
Jan Farley hits novelty country kid music in the face with “How Do Reindeer Fly?” Keep scratching that itch, it’ll never heal.
Santa’s rigorous system of Big Brother may have been helped by a reindeer. No, not just any of the reindeer. “Walker, Texas Reindeer” has his eye of justice on you. Don’t. Be. Naughty. Axis of Awesome’s cowboy country music intro is, in a word, awesome.
Homophobic country comedy’s a cottage industry. So there’s even a cover of Cledus T. Judd’s “Stephon the Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer” by Mac McAnally. The ironic indignation of allowing for the gay is matched only by the extent to which this musical production makes an actual song.
Anybody remember Loretta Lynn’s alternative to Rudolph “Shadrack the Black Reindeer“? This prankster just wants a chance, he’s the fastest ever was! This Black doesn’t want to put anyone outta work, though. Turns out the team works best integrated. Holy Toledo.
Take a time travel from 1974 to 2012 before you’re done and check David Verity‘s ticktockin’ soft rock version.
Alan Jackson’s near hit ‘Chasin’ That Neon Rainbow’ gets the parody treatment with the oft recorded and never credited “Chasin’ That Neon Reindeer.” This unnamed substitute flier has gusto and gets a fairly decent musical appreciation.
Anti-racist parody “Leroy and Roosevelt Reindeer” features the only black members of Santa’s crew pushing the Caddy from the back. The raucous background laughter cues us in to the jokes. The R+B rhythms help, though.
Joe Diffie wrote novelty country reindeer songs when novelty country reindeer songs weren’t cool. 1995’s “Leroy the Redneck Reindeer” placed well on Billboard’s Country Singles chart. It’s got gusto, but the humor is past its sell by date. Or maybe too many of these reindeer songs are yokel hokum.
Were there any famous reindeer before the Big Eight? Try “Bucky the One-Eyed Reindeer,” a lovely cowboy ditty about the great reindeer crash that resulted in the great stock market crash. Santa’s Elves deserve a posting on the great parody parade. Their album is good stuff.