Christmas Countdown: 5 more

Many a (rap) song mentions wanting a PS5, but i don’t care. A few carols allude to The Jackson 5. Whatevs. But we’re far from final with the fives.

Micah 5 mentions the prophet we celebrate, as told in the UK rapping “The Christmas Story.” Too many tea la las, but J.Walker from LTD is a clever freestyler, so okay.

The Mistletoe Tappers introduce themselves as lead “Roger the Polar Bear,” a multi-instrument penguin, and an arctic fox on drums. They rock the North Pole with an old-timer funk, Five encores later feeling high as a kite they bid adieu. Wild.

Just as weird, “The Serpent With a Star on His Head” allows a pagan approach to the birth of Christ. Sharks Teeth gets garage psychedelic with the symbolism: An inner-fire That you breathe With the five symbols on you. Ride it in glory.

Bad Santa” from L-T Terror is earthy, urban rap full of flava and eccentric references far from me: Big beard, five pack, Saint Nick, Merry Christmas. Five pack? Was he in an accident?

The Teeth interjects into Shannon Sionna’s “Trap Santa” with more rap lasciviousness: Keep a bag on me: I’ma bring you four or five gifts; I’m sliding down your chimney Stuffing stockings nice and naughty.

More kinky, All Students have a Christmas plan: As I see right before me your toes–I’m gonna suck (aye) One toe, two toes, all five down. “MistleToes” to the tune of Pachelbel is a pervy party (kinda like rap).

Some examples of how not to behave As a Christian, begins Terry Silva in his “Christmas Songs.” Pretty pop itemizes many naughty acts: Get down, get dirty, man on man, Try and jizz on his nose, spank his butt with a pan; F*ck 5 married women, steal their poo Then post it to your neighbour and covet his good. Marvy-mas.

Pleasant Bud’s “Christmas Party” adventure begins well: Presented my host with five apples in pie. But then the girl’s leg falls off… Cute filking.

A somber “Merry Christmas” from alt folk pop singer Sam Newton derides the TV in the backroom in a 5.1 sound. His hearing’s gone, it’s lonely, and humid (Australia?). Nothing’s too cheerful here.

Upbeat ragtime from Scottish the romantidote: “(Have Yourself) A Very Maudlin Christmas” is all about the disappointment of crowded get-togethers–Is there anybody else whose sick of sleigh-bells? Those five same movies that you’ve seen a thousand times? I believe you know this one.

Jumpy punk from Michael M recalls the Pandemic times of 2020: “I’m Fine with the Fact That I’ve Ruined Christmas.” Five packs of coveted toilet paper is one of the gifts, so far as i’m concerned, he saved Christmas.

Frankie and the Lake County Collective also claim “I’m So Over Christmas” with even more perky country pop. Same five songs everywhere I go... well, stop on by the blog. Just saying.

Christmas Countdown: 5 hours, minutes

Five hours can be an inconvenience during the hurly burly of the holidays. Andrew Erlagen country whines about how more family will arrive; We’ll all hear from uncle bob and his three hour drive And how all because of traffic It was closer to five in “That’s How You Know It’s Christmas.” Pretty comfy song overall.

Time can get away from you. Macklemore raps And now we stringing the lights up… Five hours later, we stringing the lights up. “It’s Christmastime” is some kind of inside joke for this crazy-ass family. Get it?

Shark Uppercut is BACK with holiday side effects. “Five Past Turkey” is the electronic warning that this guy is second-slice-of-pie done. Heed, all.

Pleasant Grove is wondering where the hell are you? Wishing forFive Minutes of Snow…” But the snow will never come. Garage bummer.

Miss Freedia had a time when she “Smoked Out with Santa.” By the time the munchies hit: Imma take you to some food cuz I know its finger lickin’–We went to Man-Chu we got the 5 minute chicken. More parody foolishness than actual rap.

Big Easy is feeling it the next morning: Can I please sleep in for just 5 more–5 More minutes is really all I need To fill this sleepy heart with glee. Tiny Dancer offers to smack him, though. Country jounciness for “On This Beautiful Christmas Day.”

Christmas Countdown: 5 P.M.

Santa’s Out on My Lawn” is not a drunk-shaming diatribe. In fact Michael Ballantyne has some half-serious rockabilly about the lawn ornament he installed. At 5:00 he gets the juice; I flip the switch and he cuts loose. Now everyone will want one.

ZuCo sets a pretty Yuletide home scene: Toss a log into the fire, The house is getting cold, It’s five o’clock the sun is going down… “Waiting for Christmas” is a soothing light pop lullaby.

Current Swell, in the other home, does not want to spend “Christmas Alone.” Five o’clock, no more than, start in an hour, We’re are all locked inside By the tension growing Along with the beast. Uh oh. Not gonna get merry that way despite the gentle folk pop.

Dreamy lite pop from Beane worries, Mid December gets dark around 5; I hate being alone without the light. “Alone Another Holiday” leans into the cold wintry regrets of the romantically insecure. You might need a hug after this one.

Step Savage also notices It’s only 5 O’clock, already pitch dark, but his rap “Snowy Daze” chins up and faces the frozen world (with pork and sauerkraut, and light arms). No moping!

In the middle of the seasonally affected depressed is Luke Markinson, who brazenly interrupts “All I Want for Xmas” with a BLUE ALERT rap about hating the song, though–It’s cold outside, Dark at a quarter of five; Don’t worry bout me I’ll be fine. Not sure in am so much now.

Giving in to the dark, Faitful Johannes sings how “It’s OK to be Alone (This Christmas),” burning your tongue, listening to spiders… but Probably best to hold off the drink until five. Gentle indie sentiment.

Must be 5 o’clock somewhere slurs Mark Erelli needing excuses to deal with “Not Quite Christmaswithout you here. Piano lounge pop, of course.

Needing more, Keith Varney belts out Just Get Me to Drunk in his hanging-by-a-thread country pop “Christmas Spirits.” It may be morning at home, But in the town of Bethlehem It’s five o’clock in the manger… is all the excuse he needs. Salut!

Finally upbeat are the homeless celebrating Christmas in Paradise” under the Cow Key Bridge. They look forward to Christmas dinner at 5 o’clock over at the Church of Life. Mary Gauthier keeps it quiet despite the steel drum and hollering y’alls.

Christmas Countdown: 6 years/months

Loss at Christmas can be the worst, but Finlay Hatton begins to heal in the pounding garage pop of “In My Arms.”  I never thought That you’d go this soon, That you’d fade away In my arms, in my life–6 years since we took you home. Yeah, sad.

Adnam is asking for your indulgence in his uncertain rap: So give me a moment, give me a chance Give me six months to change your stance. “Christmas Type Beat” is a pasted together goose casserole. Still a bit of fun.

Buried somewhere in the electronic fun of Seen.’s “When You’re Back for Christmas” is a broken pop love song. Been 12 months since I saw you; Been 6 months since you texted me back; Is this what we’ve come to–? It does end asking for a kiss, so not quite yet defeated.

Also busted up, Liv Waters feels the cold snow brush across my face tonight; Reminds me how my heart felt 6 months ago when you left. “Ain’t Nothing Merry,” listeners. Pop puling. I mean this one will help you wallow.

Steven Curtis Chapman recounts the poverty of a family in “Christmas is All in the Heart.” After six months on the new job They’re still barely getting by… but the lesson the presentless boys learn will be passed to their country song families later. It doesn’t suck if it’s a song.

The Bilinda Butchers celebrate what matters as well with flashy girl band pop in “All My Friends,” as when they plan: This is my Christmas list Even if it’s six months ’til. You know, fun games about what probably won’t come to be.

Take six months to pay these bills, croons Charles Brown in “Christmas Comes But Once a Year.” This ragtime blues makes that allowance, as Christmas is just so wonderful otherwise. See if you agree while tapping your toe.

Newsflash Singers hoe down the lowdown of “Santa’s Christmas Party.” This tinkly swing reminds us how wild the party got ‘cuz They danced and danced the whole night, headed home at dawn: Remember at the pole, nights are six months long. Yee ho.

Mrs. Claus might disapprove, but when “Santa Writes Home” he’s an incurable romantic: Your hair is so curly and your skin is so soft , I’m gonna drop off these toys and take the next 6 months off, says his letter. Dan Sullivan told me so. In country song. Color me tickled.

Christmas Countdown: 10 count BLUE ALERT

New Years is the time to countdown from 10; yet it is only one of the Happy Holidays. So go.

[Some counting songs don’t go up to 12, but only up to 10. My favorite is “Children, Go Where I Send Thee” (here by the Skaggs Family)–a Bible study number that only nudges ‘gainst Xmas. For novelty sake, The Christmas Pranksters ‘poon this with “Children, Go There and Spend Thee.” I’m counting it.]

Jenx wants (for New Year’s Eve) to Countdown from 10 and now we’re here, Hoping to go back in time, to relive this 25th one last time. “Everything You Need for Christmas” is a party pop anthem with cutesy slurring for to be alluring. Brassy.

Anika Dzulkiflee celebrates coming through a tough Christmas with “This Moment” where, with poorly recording timpanic pop, she begins the countdown to the First.

Christmas, yea, but New Years is almost here chimes Elle Hills: 10, 9, 8… belying her “Christmas is Here” pop theme. There is no now, only new.

Counting down like New Years 10 to zero, soft raps Goodxj in a positively loving ode to Xmas. “This Christmas” is a happy place.

Counting up is cool, as well. Count to ten, and close your eyes; You’ll see, it’s Christmas time, ends Sarah Reynolds with a plaintive showtune “Christmas Time is Here.” Simple stuff, but evangelical.

Getting around to actual Xmas: John Legend swings, I count one, two, three four, up to ten From the beginning until the end, Celebrating merry, merry Christmas time with you. This jazzy soul number can count to a million s’far as i’m concerned. “Merry Merry Christmas.” Man.

Ethereal plucking and falsetto pitch us toward the 25th: Open the windows and count to 10 (then something about lords leaping–why?!). This clockwork wonder, “Yule Nog Waltz,” is short but so very worth it.

Altarviolet HOLY BLUE ALERT shows how unhappy they are with the holidays when they prettily country pop sing “This Christmas Can Eat a Dick.” I can count on my 10 fingers all the ways we can say fuck this; so that we can count up–not down–again. Gorgeous violin.

Christmas Countdown: 18>

Hokum by the bucket from Scotty McCreary who country/pops the reason for the season in “Christmas Comin’ Round Again.” Everyone’s forgiving everything, including that guy who hasn’t been home since he was 18….

Almost as cliche, Vanessa Campagna is heavily filtered for a “Diamond for Christmas.” It starts out innocently: A winter kiss acting all innocent baby Wrapped up in a blanket playin’ round like we’re 18–so not about carats at all. Cornball pop.

Sappy Daddy-on-leave country from Alan Doyle, “I’ll be There Christmas Eve” documents the desperate family man 18 hours out from Liverpool making the trek as seriously as possible. O. Kay. Fine.

The knee-slappin’ verzh of dumbin’ it down arrives with a shrill of air brakes from Styles Haury (that’s what he calls himself) in “Santa’s Comin’ in an 18 Wheeler.” Yee-haul.

Brent Kentrow remembers when the first few times he could say “It’s Christmas in Colorado.” 18 inches of snow, cheap decorations, and a roaring fire make for a mellow country melody. Friends, family are extra.

Christmas Countdown: 24-*

The day before the holiday a person could use some mood-changing substances….

Psychedelic piano improvisation adds to the cacophony of the wasted “Christmas Eve/Christmas Day.” Riding through the snow Christmas Day, Chevy sitting on 24’s candy paint, Your whore want to go but it’s out my way–Tell her stay! I ain’t got no time to waste. Hott$cott got some ‘nog to flog, dawg.

Sometimes takes whiskey Sometimes takes more Always on December 24, laments Seth Adam in his slow rocker “December 24.”

Sex is the drug for Lardi B (feat. Projext) in the ‘romantic’ rap “Holidays.” Better be going by the 24th to get there! Sweet na nana nas.

More lust from Siopaolo (feat. Kelsey Kuantans): It’s the 24th of December, Remember last year when we promised we’ll meet Right before Christmas day–I want nothing but ice this year, We’re jumping into bed after 12 AM. “Hot Cocoa” seems to be code for this finger-popping R+B seducer.

Trying to get something going, poet Adam Marsland alt-grunges: Not to kill a metaphor But it’s “December 24th.” Yet, metaphors snow us in.

Despite falling asleep on the sofa bed on the 24th Autyn recalls the next morning “I Met an Angel (On Christmas Day).” Rock, i guess. (Céline Dion covers this–heavy on the sax–believe it or don’t.)

Sons of Daughters leans into the honkytonk with a brawling expose of a disturbance report of some red-suited guy at the local drinkery in “Moonshine and Mistletoe.” Line dance like you’re drunk!

Christmas Countdown: 70˚

Seventy degrees may not seem like winter for some y’all. But it’s not hot.

Byronnnn sings And you know we in the south It might be seventy in the winter with cool R+B slickness in “Coolness Christmas.” Family traditions include devotion to God, Countdown on ABC Family, and oatmeal pies. Yes, ma’am.

It might be too early It’s like 70 degrees; But after waiting all year It’s right on time for me introduces “Christmas with You” by John Waller (feat. the Waller family), a swinging pop ensemble of musical fun. Family’s the thing, guys.

Family is the basis for love, and tragedy though. Matthew West’s tale is a country weeper ’bout the boy with the diagnosis in summer. Middle of September still seventy degrees Daddy climbs up in the attic Brings down candles hangs the lights on all the trees. “One Last Christmas” is the horror we’ve heard before, but it still gets ya. Dunnit? (Based on a true… yeah, okay.)

Christmas Countdown: 73

Some day I know it’s coming When all of us won’t be Together there for Christmas (I hate to face it but we won’t always be together for Christmas), You know Daddy’s seventy-three (it seems hard to believe but your daddy will turn seventy-three) is the tip of the maudlin in The Statler Brothers’ “Something You Can’t Buy“–for Christmas that is! Country smarm to beat all.