Category Archives: classical

Tremendous Holiday Fun: Peppermints Or Namints

Songs that are entitled “Ornaments of Christmas” aren’t trying very hard. Thusly Anna Gossett Johnson and Adrian Park walk around this jingly mess.

Likewise Paige Stroman’s folk “Ornaments.” Vague filler for her album. Memories for our hearts, gang.

“Each Ornament Has a Story” shuffles out of the off-Broadway ‘Fancy Nancy Splenidferous Christmas’ just a klutzily. Talky and pedantic.

The attempt at significance doesn’t help Bill Pere’s musical number “Ornament” from his musical ‘Christmas on the Poor Side of Town.’ Pass the yawn.

Odd and affecting, Jianda Monique sings “You’re Such a Lovely Ornament” as if she’s talking about something else. Atonal, but not quite dada.

On the other hand Samad rap-sodizes about his growing wonder at the celebration of family at his most vulnerable in “Ornaments.” A little pachelbel, a little metaphor, et voila.

Ghost of Christmas Pastiche: Bach/Mozart

While delving into my fave-aroo phylum of novelty carol (the straight up parody of pop music into holiday humor) ANOTHER extra-nerdy subgenre presented itself: the traditional carol ‘in the style of’ someone famous. Please don’t misunderstand, i know nearly anyone can sing an old Xmas song in the strangled vocal impressions of Arnold, or Gollum, or Yoko Ono et al. But that’s not terribly funny. In fact it’s schtick best consumed impaired. What i’m getting at here is the masterful homage to an iconic style of music, a real treat that blends and bends, fuses and abuses the senses into an elevated state of yule-ocity.

(Honestly, this is a super weird sub-sub-genre and i’m not gonna find much… i’m going to pad out this month with actual parodies, cuz: LUVVUM! So enjoy these few and tip me to more, pls.)

Try this on:

A couple forward-thinking chamber orchestras (at least) have performed What If Baroque Masters composed those seasonal standards we hear annually.

Kjell Magne Robak kills it with”What If Bach Wrote ‘Last Christmas’?” (with a little help from Mozart). Points for acting it out.

Nicolaus Esterhazy Sinfonia play the Caribbean spiritual “The Virign Mary Had a Baby Boy” like Handel (or something… i don’t get the nuances of the 17th – 18th Centuries). Points for oddness.

The Northern Lights Orchestra have a nice album with entitled What if Mozart wrote “White Christmas“? with “Let it Snow,” and–wait for it–“The Chipmunk Song.” This might be better than you think it is.

The mashup dearest to my heart (had it for twenty years) is The Hampton String Quartet’s “Frosty the Snowman” if Mozart had written it. Although, “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth” ain’t too bad.