Yuletide: Santa Salt

Is Santa qualified to be on a boat?

Ty Thurman wonders “If Santa was a Sailor,” then what? Kidsong (with a merry country backbeat) follows to spell it out to all y’all. There’s a list.

Gordon Mac Martin gets scarier with his “Sailor Santa.” He also asks If, but worries that climate change will require this as the coasts decline and we all live at the ocean. More Carib beat.

Yuletide: Santa Cargo

Santa by sled, by plane, by train…? How DOES one get ’round the world?

Savage Bell rocks out the Florida answer: “Santa Rode on a Shrimp Boat.”

A jolly, nearly yodeling, dad pop ditty,”Santa Clause Comes by a Boat” by Gary Fjellgaard, intends to surprise us. Kidsong wonder. Not the real kind.

Bandana Man has “Santa B Cruzn” become the story of Rudolph saving the delivery day in the Caribbean. Santa likee! Steel drum calypso-ish.

Brent Burns paints a grander landscape with his shanty “Santa Boat.” It may be about the deliveries, the it’s tarred in mysteries. Fun kid sea myth.

On Track to Xmas: Cab Forward!

1950 big band kiddie stuff sounds like “The Christmas Choo Choo Train” by Art Mooney and His Orchestra (feat. Laura Leslie and The Skylarks). Clarinet flourishes.

Chris Walker seems to karaoke “Happy the Train,” a kiddie song about the train that looks forward to Christmas. Jaunty, perhaps even jumpy. Lots of sfx! Pop.

A Magical Christmas Train” is a spiraling pop number with odd segments of authentic folk and childlike reverence. James Coffey burns up the keyboard!

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A Stockbroker trainee relishes the perks of money: Bahamas, skiing at Calgary… but then he saw “An Abandoned Puppy” in front of the Stock Exchange. splurge.Art alt-pops the denouement of this curious short story. Is the ending a twist?

Ski Lodge Shootout” is more video game background mood music, this time from ‘Roller Coaster Tycoon.’ Not quite uplifting. Yet not too scary. Just noisy.

Skeez raps about the “Ski Trip” that had its ups and downs. Mostly from drugs.

Eraserheads sing of a world of no winter: We dreamed of Mr. Frosty, And skiing down the slopes… but it was not to be. Global warming? A move to Palm Beach? Don’t worry, their alternative is “Styrosnow“! Kids love it!

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Dancing with the Mountains” is John Denver’s disco metaphor for skiing. Oh no! (Right?) C’mon, try it!

Skiing in Hell” brought to you by HOGI is more whimsical than most of the electronic instrumentals offered so far. Good enough for me.

JunyTony drops “Snowman Family” as a get-up-and-move kids’ exercise number. They include skiing as a family groove. Just a touch of calypso seals the kidsong deal.

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Destiny Hooks prettily melds harmony and electronica for “I Love You and Christmas.” How deep is this love? Hallmark movies! And the tradition of skating to begin!

Marla Harvey leans into the romantic possibilities with her slow pop “Christmas With You.” Skating!

Phoebe Enbelbert notches up the kidsong to just tolerable pop levels in Panda Corner’s “Let’s Play in the Snow.” Snowboards and skates will be instruments of play in this black and white Christmas.

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The Bobsled Song” is an annoying cheer of pride and frictionless motion from Mrs. Sizemore. School assembly genre.

Mrs. Sizemore brings in the kid choir to up the ante with “Toboggan Tango.” Better kid stuff. Worse cultural appropriation.

2 the Sun measures the childhood “Seasons, 2002” in grief and joy. R+B mixes with some rapping to bury the dog, cherry blossoms… and sledding! Wistful.

Finale strong, Mrs. Sizemore hits the rock’n’roll button on the keyboard machine with “Catch My Drift,” a snowboardin’ tune of pop song design.

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Bedbug gets metaphysical and alt-goofy with “winter. on the moon.” This interstellar stoners’ trip enjoys a California sunset, but wants to fill a valley with snow and sled down on trash can lids. So say we all.

Sarantos tries showtune, but his uncertainty with English results in a jug band jazz time curiosity. “The Happiest Time of the Year” speaks for itself. Look for sledding… and making amends.

Patrick DeVille hears it’s gonna snow. This “Christmas Snow” will be good for a good many things–including snowballs and sliding down the driveway. Excellent kids pop with a killer backbeat.

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It would seem more appropriate for non-motorized transport around Christmas to feature snow rather than sea. But, be advised, these sled-songs will not concern Santa Claus’s get-along. There will be kids and hills and–p’raps–danger!

Kids… cartoons, am i right? Tiny Toons take us away with their “Sled Song“–a moment’s diversion from some 1992 Christmas special.

My Happy Christmas Sled Song” by Loo Loo Kids is not as fun: repetitive doggerel.

Kidsong really flies with Emily Arrow’s “Little Red Sled,” based on a kidsbook about a girl and books and animal friends. It is good.

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Alternatively–

The Yule Logs stretch my conceit with “Atheist Serf Holiday.” These non-believers surf-rock their doubts, but never quite catch the literal wave. And when i say rock, i mean hold onto your pants. Damn.

Winter in L.A.” seems a child’s tutorial from Mischievous Miracles. Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and Xmas trappings are all noted. So is the weirdness of trucking in snow while the surfers are on high. Gentle fun.