Don’t Be a Scrooge with That Scruff

Lachlan MacLeod is greener ‘n the Grinch over “Santa’s Gnarly Beard.” Ukulele indie idolatry for Mr. C’s white stuff.

Santa’s Beard” by Keith Pendergrast is hard folk kidsong about some psychedelic episode some kid had with worms, a Coke, and a cat. If it were just animals each day for 12 days, i might get it. But this nightmare (of what’s UNDER the jolly one’s chin) is no joke.

Christopher Smith’s kidsong takes us on an adventure through “Santa’s Beard.” The treasures in that mess (and i don’t mean last night’s dinner)! Some fun.

Look Out!

More activity in darker days means one thing: lack of Vitamin D! And, erm, well, also accidents. Often featuring Mr. Christmas himself.

Short and hilarious is “Christmas at the Bottom of a Well” by The Light. Listen and see.

Tom Dyer sadly relates Doober’s ailments after returning from WWII. As a mall Santa much later, he’s hardly whole. But “It’s a White Mule Christmas,” so some fun jug band bluegrass.

Just as countrified, Dave Rudolf makes light of ‘Go Tell It’ with “Bo Fell Off the Mountain.” Those good ol’ boys… spooked by a squirrel!

Some mishaps are worse than others. StarFish remembers when “Santa Split His Pants.” How bad is that??? Mocking children’s music.

Damn That Holiday: DamNation.8

Just a couple more bad-mouthed carols.

BLUE ALERT! latewaves is mad as hell and still gonna take it while rocking “Hungover for Christmas.” So Merry Goddam Christmas….

MattstaGraham hits the garage with wishes of a Merry Goddam Christmas in the head banging “I Can’t Keep Up with the Holidays.” BLUE ALERT Good save on that last note.

I’ll be damned If I let another Christmas Go to waste laments Jon Bakke over “This Christmas.” Just a touch of Celtic to liven the pop epiphany here.

Dave Sweeney and the Kickin’ Mules tweak kidsong with some pop backbeat and bitch about waiting all damned year for a “Christmas Cookie.” To your room while I get the soap!

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Old Salts (& Young)

Making with the kid assembly song, Maynard Music brings us a kids’ choir proclaiming “A Pirate Christmas.” Band music, but short.

Pirates love Christmas, according to Tiny Tots. Yet, Santa seems ignorant of delivering gifts at sea. He’s got a prejudice that these freebooters were bad. But what about their children?? Who’s the villain now?! For an answer, try “Pirates Christmas Day,” a folk/easy listening tale as old as the briny deep.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-WhiteBeard

Does Santa have a pirate designation? According to School District 49 it’s ‘Mad Jackson.’ But i’m not feeling it.

Don’t forget Patchy the Pirate who introduces ‘SpongeBob SquarePants.’ He also introduces the Christmas special. With the theme song, and ‘Christmas!’ shouted at the end.

Parry Gripp’s triumphant return to our blog features funny voices, pop music, and rap, so… not my favorite–sorry. “Pirate Santa Claus” is a reformed plunderer, teaching kids important lessons. Yawn.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Lads’n’Lassies

The Wiggles’ returning pirate character Captain Feathersword gets a holiday lesson concerning pigging out in “It’s a Christmas Party on the Good Ship Feathersword.” He’s a friendly pirate, ‘cuz he refers to all you out there as ‘me hearties.’ Aww.

Captain Fear Facer won’t face joy in the Sing-Along with two sides: “Pirates Don’t Celebrate Christmas.” To be honest, it’s Oliver the crocodile who eschews, Capt. FF persuades him otherwise in this too-cool-for-school earthy pop song.

Yo Ho Ho Ho-Avast Ye

Hello Wonder indies “Dear Santa (A Pirate’s Request)” from the daughter of a pirate to the only one she knows who can make her dad nice, not naughty. Too cute for words!

Captain Dan & The Scurvy Crew ask Santa directly for cannons and whatnot in “A Pirate Christmas” all the while planning on ambushing, robbing, and slaughtering the jolly old elf. These pirates bite off more brass monkey than they can chew. Kiddie rap.

Yuletide: Santa Salt

Is Santa qualified to be on a boat?

Ty Thurman wonders “If Santa was a Sailor,” then what? Kidsong (with a merry country backbeat) follows to spell it out to all y’all. There’s a list.

Gordon Mac Martin gets scarier with his “Sailor Santa.” He also asks If, but worries that climate change will require this as the coasts decline and we all live at the ocean. More Carib beat.