Reworking tykes’ classics with snowmen in the lyrics is a shortcut to getting kids to singalong, like with superhero movies that just change the colors of the costumes.

“5 Little Snowmen” reworks ‘5 Little Monkeys’ jumping on the bed. Oh My Genius makes this lively with a touch of bluegrass and bopping sfx. Hee hee.

Kiboomers’s “5 Little Snowmen” is redundant and complacent though. They don’t hurt different parts at all. Oh well.

David Hudspeth downs the tempo with “Five Little Snowmen” focusing on their demises. Dark. (Is he playing a bouzouki?)

There’s also ‘I’m a Little Snowman’ sung to ‘I’m a Little Teapot.’ It’s all ready to go for kids three and up. Short and cold.

Singing Hands embodies the horrific in kid songs with “I’m a Little Snowman.” All the joy is marched into syncopation, all the talent is colored between the lines.

Super Simple Songs ups the temp a bit with “I’m a Little Snowman” and round and around they go. Skippit.

Heidi Burgess creates a new melody for the old saw. One note, but insistent. I say brava.

Kiboomers are back to let us know the snowman can be round not fat. But it’s the polka liveliness that rescues “I’m a Little Snowman” here. I don’t want to just sing along. I want to be the godammt snowman.

The snowman may be a tradition of a thousand years, certainly written references can be found from more than 500 years ago. Whether as a ward, or porn, or simple sculpture (free materials!) this figure has excited our imagination–especially at the holiday season.

Way too many songs of the snowman are meant to excite children, or perhaps dull our own wits (same thing?). So week one will be about the sometimes talented, sometimes tedious, always enthusiastic kidsmusicka.

So we’ll start with the invitation and the DIY how-tos.

I know of no good reason to include the Disney ‘Frozen’ nonsense here. Except for an odd Classical Latin translation from Keith Massey (with questionable syntax). (altho, gosh, i am partial to “Do You Want to Be a Mormon?” from Seth Daybell.)

Conway Twitty slums into the funny-voiced sidekick duet country wishing for snow for “Johnny Snowman.” Gotta start with the snow, man. Deana Carter saves this mess with an update.

Heidi Songs gives us more of what we want. “Let’s Build a Snowman!” is short, jittery, and shrilly upbeat.

Nursery Rhymes by Little Fox utilize ‘O Susannah’ as the basis for their “Build a Snowman.” Proceed with caution.

Sparkle & Shine demonstrate why bearded big guys don’t usually teach the tots. “The Snowman Chant” attempts to dub the step, but embarrasses all.

A real head scratcher comes from Singer Dr. B. “Wonderful Snowman” is an odyssey of creation and discovery and kid celebration. I can’t explain more than that. Oh man.

Slow country from Lee and Sandy Paley who make “Snowman Joe” just for you. If you name them, it’s harder to lose them. (Oreo eyes? A banjo to bring him to life?!)

Gospel saves the day when Homemadesoul handclaps and enlifts with “Snowman” building. Go!

Despite the chatty-chat, Bill Hooper keeps it cool with his “Snowman” directions. Rock on.

E(everyone)L(oves)F(un) Learning has a underdeveloped tutorial with some mean tambourine: “Let’s Build a Snowman.” It goes slowly, so you should be able to keep up.

The clearest sign of Christmas acceptance is that snow falling down. It’s there in every Hallmark movie. So we send out the vibes and wishes and hopes and hollerin’.

Tyler Carter and Scout rap out the reality of their need for absolution with “Make It Snow.” Needy.

Band of Merrymakers express their desire with “Snow Snow Snow.” Bouncy frothy pop. You know you love it.

James Maddison Music unites children from around the world for their creepy harmony with “We Just Want it to Snow.” That many wee voices woven makes me dive under the divan.

Mr. Butters Music also conjures talented youthful voices with “Please Let It Snow.” Show tune worthy, but also just this side of conjuring.

Vituoso Girl gets the kinder version right with “I Want It to Snow.” Slightly annoying with its forthrightness, not too clever, but soaring and now with less winking.

While we’re hibernating in the Winter still, let’s acknowledge the BIG Christmas song picture: all aspects of This Time of the Year are fair game for caroling. Let it Snow, Baby It’s Cold, Winter Wonderland are all about the need to be close together inside exchanging warmth by our mere presence. (Yea, even unto Jingle Bells which does NOT mention Christmas.)

We here at Novelty Central have proven time and again that you can’t have enough on your Christmas playlist. We’re all inclusive and we cherish all colors, ingredients, and positions.

So let’s talk freezing…

To begin with, the snowflake is a symbol of natural complexity and wonder. (So of course it’s been politicized into a derogatory epithet–not white privilege, as was prevalent until about 10 years ago. Now it means PC and over-protective of liberal uniqueness. Guys, if you need to reappropriate hate terms, it’s all in Shakespeare!) (We’re too retro and loving here to give that any more airplay.)

Kids love this stuff, so i need to spend a day on their innocence and lack of originality in snow songs.

Baby Learning World combos with Kids Learning Tube to teach us elementary science in their “Snowflake Song.” You’ll recognize references from ‘Frozen’ and Middle Earth and sci fi.

Miss Molly has that dull intonation that makes kids want to singalong with her “Snowflakes Falling Song.” Caution: counting. You may get hypnotized.

More wondrous and wootsie-cootsie comes Super Simple Learning with the nursery rhyme “Little Snowflake.” Lots of links to toys you can buy and more songs crowd out the end of this. They also teach forest animals “Each Snowflake is Special,” but the irony of so is everyone else! seems lost here.

Time for the assembly song! Plank Road Publishing pushes “A Million Little Snowflakes” to indoctrinate the wee ones.

Rosemary Clooney made it famous, but our new and improved “Suzy Snowflake” arrives care of the ADHD stylings of Soul Coughing. Still just kid stuff.

Peter Pan Carolers sing in a round with Their “Snowflake Song” from the happening ’70s. It’s melting, man! Peter Wood Singers slow this down for maximum meditation. Sounds like background music for The Brady Bunch.

A gentle rock’n’roll meditation from Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm, “Snowflake” puts us into a ’65 kind of mood. Mmm, that’s good cave-baby groovin’.

Couple guys with guitars The String Beans laugh and play with their “Snowflakes” song.

Tiana has quite an anthem on “Snowflakes” from her Toys and Me album. (Santa’s mentioned.) Uplifting.

Nyanna makes a real dance number for her “Snowflake Waltz.” Keep arms in position, tots!

Most fun (and almost educational) are Trout Fishing in America with “Bob and Bob.” Those snowflakes might all be different, but a couple of ’em might have the same name. Could happen. Picking and grinning fun.