Many holiday songs that promote chuckles poke childish greed with a stick. A few are retweetable, but not just about the one thing you want.
For example, Gordy Pratt unpacks the problems with making your wishes clear to S.C. in “Clause.n.pole.com,” a childish bit o’ toffee.
The importance of the Xmas list is underlined by King Lou Fernandez (Something Awful) in “Secret Santa Jambawamba.” This bossa nova rap is experimental dream jazz (bowling alley, golf links sfx) that may scare you to the pen and paper.
Then there’s just “Gimme Christmas,” the punk-lite extravagance of MxPx. A planet, hey!
Existential angst plagues Jay Brannan with a supercool alt exploration of the meaning of the holiday with “Dear Santa.” He wants nothing (more than just to believe). Don’t forsake him, Big Guy!
Different landscapes, different lists. Sean Morey gets third world vs. suburbia (for The Bob & Tom Show) with “Dear Santa.” It’s funny ‘cuz it’s so tragic–and bluegrass.
The usual list reads YOU, BABY. Creeping out the concept, Shark Uppercut continues the experimental collection with “Christmas Presence.” The uncanny valley of romantic thought.
The usual comedy list reads “Cash Cash Cash,” as in the jumpin’ folk tune from Heywood Banks. Now that’s a funny guy.
Also–a girl! Pop rock this side of disco from Bey Ireland detailing “All I Want for Christmas is a Go-Go Girl.” She knocks him out.
(Or, a better girl. Jenny Talia vamps up ‘Hippopotamus’ with “I Want a New Set of Tits for Christmas.” It’s funny because it’s so horrible.)
And… drugs! lil aaron is on bended knee cuz’ he (feat. Goody Grace) says “All I Need” is a bag of weed. And a friend. And backup. Needy elctro rap.
‘Course the other funny routine is to ask for CHRISTMAS TO STOP! “Dwarven Dirge” from Piedmont Songbag is a curmudgeons’ lament that this noisy time of year is back. And ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU TO SHUT UP. For “All I Really Need” for Xmas for them, refer to the beer section… then some other odd stuff.
Less usual is the super specific weirdness of Watch Out for Rockets’s soft rock “All I Want for Christmas is the Criss Angel Platinum Magic Kit with Over 250 Magic Tricks.” Just get it for ‘im.
And then there’s the disappointment espoused by The Roundheads in their pop rock “All I Got for Christmas was a Brick.” What exactly did you ASK for? That magic trick kit?
The traditional straight-up letter to Santa comes unironically from Brian Kinder. “Dear Santa” is the children song of cowboy hopes and dreams. (Socks, no; guitar, yes.) Play along, kids. It’s fun