Cab Calloway’s kid tried a novelty in 1956. “Dear Santa, Have You Had the Measles?” is singsongy kid basic. Can’t tell if the child has any pipes. But we must hereto broach the idea that someone besides YOU is sick during Xmas. [Choral wonders VocalEssence also do this, with gusto.]
Category Archives: Childrens
Sick of Christmas: chix pox
The inconvenience of holiday illness becomes childhood tragic when stricken with “Chicken Pox for Christmas.” Damn.
Kimbo’s Children Music tootles bravely through the itchiness.
Sick of Christmas: nasopharyngitis
According to the CDC colds come on gradually, have sore throats and sneezing (but rarely chills or fever–that’s the flu).
So you’ve decided to come down with something that’s not just depression. Wait, you’re not sure? Take this simple test: does the song “Christmas Cold” by Cheryl Ladd in a hideous wig and Kaitlin Maher, ditto, (from ‘Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups’) make you feel ill? If not, you already ARE ill!
Only a year after the ‘Hippo’ hit, Gayla Peevey is back at it. 1954’s “Got a Code in the Node for Christmas” is precious and saccharine and all those other words that don’t exactly mean awful.
Cowboy Billy is nasally country twangy with “I Always Get a Cold for Christmas.” Earnest, if not Ray Stevens ready.
The least worst sniffley snuffley songey will have to be “I Got a Cold for Christmas” from the delirious Three Stooges. Stay on beat, stay on beat.
Sing a Song of Singing Songs: others
Who else gets a song dedicated for the holidays?
Well, i can’t pass up another Todd McHatton: “A Christmas Song for Harry Nilsson.” This must be the third time i’ve foisted it on you.
Bored housewives from Portland, The Fallen Angel Choir went political with “Sing a Song for Benjamin Linder” a victim on Nicaraguan Contras (and others). Whew.
A LOT lighter, Carolyn Mark offers a “Song for the Girl with Two of Everything.” For children of divorce get too much, don’t they?
Sing a Song of Singing Songs: the big guy
Do we sing a song loud and proud, or do we aim it?
gerdenshed claims to be singing a “Santa’s Song,” but it’s mostly about beer.
Rubettes (feat. Alan Williams) ask you to sing along to their “Santa’s Song.” It’s just ho ho ho over and over. Let’s practice.
Similarly The Oak Ridge Boys offer Santa singing “Santa’s Song“–just the hos, ma’am.
I’m partial to the nihilism of Culture in Memoriam’s “Santa’s Song” (Ding Dong, with murder in his eye). I’ve sung to this one before. (They’re Swedes, so winter=death, y’know.)
The Ames Brothers “Sing a Song of Santa Claus.” It’s really ‘Sing a Song of Sixpence’ so if you’re prone to nursery rhymes, this one over-orchestrates just for you.
Sing a Song of Singing Songs: DO IT
Plank Road Publishing makes it easy for the kids and palatable for the parents with their fizzy concoctions of school assembly numbers. Fingers out of noses! First grade, pick up the tempo! “Christmas Makes Me Sing” ‘cuz teacher told me to.
Sing a Song of Singing Songs: along for the song
Building a community out of song ain’t so easy. You have to ask.
Irving Oil has a corporate team-building video in which all their employees have to sing “Everyone’s Got a Christmas Song to Sing“–specifically, this one!
Todd McHatton, a Washington state treasure, has an indefinite one-of-a-kind style. This kids song/’70s rock/peoples’ anthem will beckon and distance you all at once. “Sing Along to The Christmas Song” may not be possible, but you’ll catch yourself swaying i bet to its randomness.
As Seen on TV: The Fairly Odd Parents
Although cancelled by Nickelodeon, this popular toon was resuscitated and is now the 2nd longest running cartoon series on that network (behind SpongeBob).
Musical numbers tend to be classy, rather than silly (perhaps due to the aged magical helpers).
Timmy apparently never watched that Elmo special and wishes for “Christmas Everyday” in an early episode, much to all’s dismay. Jazzy.
More comical, “Not on the List” is a symphonic tribute to all the kids’ regrets the day after. Frantic.
As Seen on TV: Lazy Town
This Icelanidic people-wearing-puppet-outfits oddity made its way to Nick Toons for a while, but creeped out kids with a hero who looks like the Captain America villain Batroc, and a bad guy handsome as Bruce Campbell.
Stephanie, the irrepressible eight-year-old never seen without a smile, sings “Jolly Holidays” and “I Love Christmas.” Believe (in exercise)!
As Seen on TV: SpongeBob SquarePants
The biggest moneymaker from Nickolodeon ever isn’t just a can of rocks shaken for the lovely sound it makes. It’s also musical.
The eighth season featured a all-singing formulaic story about Plankton taking over, blah blah. ‘It’s a SpongeBob Christmas!’ is stop motion which throws the surrealism out of whack but is otherwise serviceable. Stick to the album.
“Santa Has His Eye on Me” opens the story with just the right amount of repetitive mush and exposition.
These iconoclastic kid bits often push genres. Patrick the starfish’s “Pretty Ribbons and Bows” is a ’60s rock ‘splosion of ADHD fun.
Limp country from Sandy the Squirrel in “Ho Ho Hoedown.” I think i’ll stick to the better stuff.
The bad guy gets a real showtune carol in “Christmas is Mine.” Mwah ho ho ho.
The Brit pop anthem to kids “Don’t be a Jerk (It’s Christmas)” is the big hit, though. Falsetto ululate, all!