Category Archives: Childrens

Fashionably Unbalanced Cartoon Keepsake (BLUE ALERT)

Animation and swearing, it’s like chocolate and tuna fish! They shouldn’t go together, but somehow–

‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ is the easy target here, ‘cuz it’s a musical (duh) and also weirdos like it.

Gamma Secretase plays “Fuck This” as a Madlibs, poking in the swear word for some other word as often as possible. Your laughter levels will tell you how high you are at the moment.

Shorter and more clever (though with direct drug references) is Lord Jazor’s “The F*ck is This?” Yeah, i know, it’s a Christmas movie, not really a Christmas song. Still like it.

HATE Xmas.26

We need another day to address Ebenezer Scrooge inspired songs. Not musical adaptations, but holiday hotcakes to play at home. (Not EVERY such tip of the topper, only those that feature how much he hates. Esp. w/Christmas mentions.)

Ron Doros homebrews his “Ebenezer’s Song” with fine folk finishings. Haunting.

Chris Hensen enters a songwriting contest with the “Bah Humbug Blues.” A bit sloppy and too much of the whole story, but it’s awfully swinging.

Romeo615 gets n-word BLUE ALERT urban rhymin’ with his take on “Ebenezer Scrooge.” Not sure what the Minnie Pearl hogcallin’ is all about, but i likes it.

Funky R+B from Travis Hobson slaps a “Scrooge Song” with some sass. Bah to the hum to the bug. Yeah, like that.

Metal showtune from Black Adidas “Bah Humbug” sparks the lack of joy.

Mississippi Skinny Dippers bluegrass around the country with “Bah Humbug,” tongue in cheek o’ course.

Just as kidding, Tim O’Brien fiddles and banjos over “Bah Humbug.” Mountain life sucks.

Blues for whites, “Bah Humbug” from Danaher & Cloud jazzes and razzes the trappings from the dining room. When does Mama get a break?

Phil Gathany gets jazzy folk rock with “Ebenezer Scrooge.” Coffehouse weird.

Party metal lite with One Hell of a Christmas, something your gramma might get you out of the discount bins because you like that sort of thing, don’t you dear? Still “Bah, Humbug” is coolly singable.

Parody doowop time! “Scrooge You” from Richlove (& all the Something Awful peeps) makes us dance the hate away.

Keep up the comedy with Spanky Woods channeling his Heywood Banks into “Bah Humbug!” Jazzy hollering for the fun of the season.

I only have a corrupted copy of the A Christmas in Bedrock album, but i was after the “Don’t be a Scrooge” Motown hiphoppery Barney lords over Fred. Wild overorchestration to scare you into generosity.

Love Teresa Brewer summarizing the whole ‘Carol’ with her 1953 kidsong “Ebenezer Scrooge.” Spoilers! (Eddy Howard‘s take, not so fun.)

Sick of Christmas: rubella

Cab Calloway’s kid tried a novelty in 1956. “Dear Santa, Have You Had the Measles?” is singsongy kid basic. Can’t tell if the child has any pipes. But we must hereto broach the idea that someone besides YOU is sick during Xmas. [Choral wonders VocalEssence also do this, with gusto.]

Sick of Christmas: chix pox

The inconvenience of holiday illness becomes childhood tragic when stricken with “Chicken Pox for Christmas.” Damn.

Kimbo’s Children Music tootles bravely through the itchiness.

Sick of Christmas: nasopharyngitis

According to the CDC colds come on gradually, have sore throats and sneezing (but rarely chills or fever–that’s the flu).

So you’ve decided to come down with something that’s not just depression. Wait, you’re not sure? Take this simple test: does the song “Christmas Cold” by Cheryl Ladd in a hideous wig and Kaitlin Maher, ditto, (from ‘Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups’) make you feel ill? If not, you already ARE ill!

Only a year after the ‘Hippo’ hit, Gayla Peevey is back at it. 1954’s “Got a Code in the Node for Christmas” is precious and saccharine and all those other words that don’t exactly mean awful.

Cowboy Billy is nasally country twangy with “I Always Get a Cold for Christmas.” Earnest, if not Ray Stevens ready.

The least worst sniffley snuffley songey will have to be “I Got a Cold for Christmas” from the delirious Three Stooges. Stay on beat, stay on beat.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: others

Who else gets a song dedicated for the holidays?

Well, i can’t pass up another Todd McHatton: “A Christmas Song for Harry Nilsson.” This must be the third time i’ve foisted it on you.

Bored housewives from Portland, The Fallen Angel Choir went political with “Sing a Song for Benjamin Linder” a victim on Nicaraguan Contras (and others). Whew.

A LOT lighter, Carolyn Mark offers a “Song for the Girl with Two of Everything.” For children of divorce get too much, don’t they?

 

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: the big guy

Do we sing a song loud and proud, or do we aim it?

gerdenshed claims to be singing a “Santa’s Song,” but it’s mostly about beer.

Rubettes (feat. Alan Williams) ask you to sing along to their “Santa’s Song.” It’s just ho ho ho over and over. Let’s practice.

Similarly The Oak Ridge Boys offer Santa singing “Santa’s Song“–just the hos, ma’am.

I’m partial to the nihilism of Culture in Memoriam’s “Santa’s Song” (Ding Dong, with murder in his eye). I’ve sung to this one before. (They’re Swedes, so winter=death, y’know.)

The Ames Brothers “Sing a Song of Santa Claus.” It’s really ‘Sing a Song of Sixpence’ so if you’re prone to nursery rhymes, this one over-orchestrates just for you.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: DO IT

Plank Road Publishing makes it easy for the kids and palatable for the parents with their fizzy concoctions of school assembly numbers. Fingers out of noses! First grade, pick up the tempo! “Christmas Makes Me Sing” ‘cuz teacher told me to.

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: along for the song

Building a community out of song ain’t so easy. You have to ask.

Irving Oil has a corporate team-building video in which all their employees have to sing “Everyone’s Got a Christmas Song to Sing“–specifically, this one!

Todd McHatton, a Washington state treasure, has an indefinite one-of-a-kind style. This kids song/’70s rock/peoples’ anthem will beckon and distance you all at once. “Sing Along to The Christmas Song” may not be possible, but you’ll catch yourself swaying i bet to its randomness.

As Seen on TV: The Fairly Odd Parents

Although cancelled by Nickelodeon, this popular toon was resuscitated and is now the 2nd longest running cartoon series on that network (behind SpongeBob).

Musical numbers tend to be classy, rather than silly (perhaps due to the aged magical helpers).

Timmy apparently never watched that Elmo special and wishes for “Christmas Everyday” in an early episode, much to all’s dismay. Jazzy.

More comical, “Not on the List” is a symphonic tribute to all the kids’ regrets the day after. Frantic.