Category Archives: boogie woogie

ReduXmas: Pick a Card

Songs about Christmas are so endemic that the merest ephemera or frippery is grist for the Xmas music mill. Hence, dozens of songs about Christmas cards. You’d think, with the electronic age, we’d’ve run out of these selections. Think this:

“I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Christmas Card” is a parody of the old 1930s bluesy band number, here done up jug band style by Dan Hicks and the Christmas Jug Band. Hi de ho.

Shot o’ Soul reassures us that “You Won’t Get No Christmas Card from Me.” He’s so over us with his boogie woogie funk.

Don We Now: whadja not wanna get?

Did you really ASK for something to wear?: ‘Course you didn’t! That’s lame-o!

“Grandma’s Christmas Shirt” tells us the story of that gift you have to wear but you’d rather burn. The Good Year Pimps go appropriately punk for this honest discourtesy.

Drunk parody fun time! “What Tie is This?” takes a turn at ‘Child’ with the wit of Robert Lund of FuMP. You’ll larf, if you’ve lived this.

‘Course there’s the sizing problem. Mel Blanc gives us classic nationalism with “The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Beeg.” Reeng dee bell and beet duh drom.

Then there’s socks. Something Awful Christmas Songs tells the whole sordid BLUE ALERT tale in “King Lou’s Terrible Christmas Song.” You might need a drink.

Andy Pagana gives you the actual list of what he does want. But most especially, he country kidsongs, “I Don’t Want Clothes for Christmas.” You’ve been warned.

The worst gift JD McPherson ever got? “Socks.” A jazz romp of considerable elasticity.

Boogie rock with Trout Fishing in America: “Santa Brought Me Clothes.” You need to reinventory your misdeeds for the year, dudes. Santa’s telling you something.

Don We Now: Santa not suit

When is a Santa suit not a Santa suit?

When “Santa’s Got a Sharkskin Suit.” Rockabilly from Bob Wire and Chip Whitson refits the season. It was time for a change.

Jerelyn Craden (of Joy Jam) also redresses the fashion crimes of the jolliest elf with “Santa’s in a Bathing Suit,” But he was in L.A. so no worries, bra.

Hi-5 also recommend “Santa Wear Your Shorts” when visiting them in Hawaii. Kip bop pop.

Dave Rudolph goes dirty jump blues with his “Santa’s Got a Zoot Suit.” Sah-Moken!

Take a Card: boogie woogie

Cousin to jazz, grandpa to rock and country, this African-American stress reliever made us happier than the blues–and we could dance to it!

“Boogie Woogie Christmas Card” by Jimmy Maddox checks off all the boxes: virtuosity, glee, Christmas card… it’s just what i wanted!

Sing a Song of Singing Songs: altogether now

The purpose of a “Brand New Christmas Song” is to get everyone to sing along, right? Dr. BLT belts it outwith country rocknroll. Drawly bubba religiosity.

Muppets pianoman Rowlf keeps the party rolling with his casual bonhomie in “The Christmas Party Sing-Along.” Ragtime that punches you in the syncopation. Bo-do-da-dum-dump.

As Seen on TV: Community

Rick and Morty‘s creator’s earlier brilliant-but-what’s-the-demographic? sitcom was not known for breakout songs, but attention must be paid to these study group misfits during the holidays.

The 2010 stop motion episode ‘Abed’s Uncontollable Christmas’ brings it.

The “Intro Song” is a takeoff of The 88’s series opening music this time with Xmas.

The characters turn into Christmas claymation tropes and have a couple memorable 3-line songs for characterization, including “Brittabot” and “Christmas Douche.”

The meaning of Christmas is put together in the show stopper “That’s What Christmas is For.” John Oliver! Christmas pterodactyl!

The next year is about singing Xmas for Glee club. To win over the surly main character, the Jewish nerd girl sings “Annie’s Christmas Song.” Brother, that’s jazz striptease junk with Betty Boop botheration.

The overlooked housewife gets a big gospel (half) number with “Happy B-Day, Jesus.” Go tell it on the lafftrack.

The actual “Community Glee Club” performance is a sad throwaway about how the hot blonde is tone deaf.

“Troy & Abed’s Christmas Rap Battle,” however, convinces the Asperger’s kid and the conflicted cool athlete to celebrate a holiday they would otherwise disdain. Much prettier, or at least much faster.

Comedy gold from those boys finally in order to convince the geriatric in “Baby Boomer Santa,” an addictive song  about the evolution of St. Nick through musical genres. An American Pearl.

Presents of Mine: shopping blues

Has the spending and crowding and futility of it all got you down, bucko? Time to wail the blues.

Along the Road make the blues pretty with “Christmas Shopping Mall Blues.” Shiny big band finishing, melodic, yeah even a bit whiney. Next.

Fat, Happy and Blue jazz up the blues to the level of gin bar with “Christmas Shopping Blues.” Still flashy, sexy, and stand-uppity. What else?

Raw, ragged, and joyously hopeless, The Christmas Jug Band gallop around “X-Mas Shopping Blues.” Roaring fun. (Still wish i had some Memphis growlin’.)

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Identity Cypress

The tree is beautiful, your significant other is beautiful… what’s a poet to do?

For Brian Velez, “My Christmas Tree” tells him he’s meant for her. Or it is her. With this much coffehouse poetry and slamming folk guitar, it’s hard to know.

The extended metaphor gets excruciating elucidation from Darrin Martin in “You’re 100 Christmas Trees.” Is that Dixieland in the bridge? Is this guy serious? Falsetto?

I think Samuel J Morris is also mistaking his one and only for the fir. “Help My Christmas Tree” he seems to say through not fully fluent English. I’d call Dr. Oliver Sacks (‘cept he’s dead).

David Johnston will come right out and say it: “She Looks Like a Christmas Tree.” Unplugged rock that might give you verse envy.

“I Want to Be Your Christmas Tree” swear Black & Blond Music. I’m not sure what woody benefits you’re hoping for, but your ‘billy blues fascinate.

With you around (and no one else) King Virtue feels “Like a Christmas Tree.” Hot enough to melt snow, anyway. Trippy ’60s style rock heavy on the percussion.

The Whomping Willows also aspire to adortion with “Let Me Be Your Christmas Tree.” Jazzy pop that covers the smell of desperation with musical justification.

Women get equal time! “I’m All Lit up Like a Christmas Tree” wouldn’t pass the Bechdel test, but Janey Clewer and Randy Waldman anticipate her baby comin’ home with boogie woogie jazz that’ll get his attention.

Hip hop from Nroc Leoj swathes his girl in the metaphor “Lights on the Christmas Tree.” She lights up his world, a’ight?

Well the song loves her. Boogie woogie metal from Mad for Action where the story is that the good-for-nothing blond didn’t listen to the haters but acheived “Like a Christmas Tree.” (Sparkly on the outside, dead on the inside?)

Treemendous Holiday Fun: BLUE Balsa Wood

Christmas balls dangle from the branches like… reproductive organs?! Someone likes this pun.

Funky Butt Brass Band descend into the mood with the raise-the-roof jazz of “Shiny Christmas Balls.” Don’t make them blue, baby.

Surprisingly upbeat reggae rock features John Mahameed & Nard cutting loose with “Christmas Balls.” Why you gotta?

Damage Control Comedy search for the key with “Your Christmas Balls” double entendre-ing the pun with showtune jazz. Take ’em out… where you wanna put ’em… Kay?

A regular Xmas tradition from the Johnboy & Billy Morning show, Nonge Shipman simply strums the folk ballad “Christmas Balls.” You’ve heard it.

From the risqué ’60s Kay Martin and Her Bodyguards “Hang Your Balls on the Christmas Tree” lets us know what we were missing, in terms of smirk.

No one else has balls like Ben Light and His Surf Club Boys. His “Christmas Balls” from the party records of the ’30s was the first… and the best (at innuendo).

Sweet Christmas! peppermint

Candy covers Christmas treats overall. But peppermint gets special attention about now.

Owl City graduates out of Disney pop and approaches alt light with “Peppermint Winter.” It’s fun, then emo, then pop, then rock. Multi-flavored! [But this Adam Young guy has the worst management; this song is included in dozens of cheapie compilations with no credit to the Minnesota electronic wizard.]

Full alt hails from These Are Waves with “Peppermint (The Christmas Song).” It strums through millennial feelings, which can get so complicated this time of year.

College band Ormsby comes to us care of Youtube with “Arsenic & Peppermint.” It’s a good ol’ college try, heavy on the tambourine.

Too many songs piggyback onto the topic with place names that include peppermint. But have to give a moment to Bobby Vinton’s “Peppermint Stick Parade.” It’s jolly and… well musically it’s not much. But it’s jolly.

Also tangential, The Lennon Sisters take a Lawrence Welk break to tell us the tale of “Peppy the Peppermint Bear.” I woulda thought Santa’d’ve more standards than to let an ursine mix the sweets.

The American Song-Poem album really takes it away with the peppermint song possibilities, re: “Christmas Treat, Peppermint” by The Sisterhood.

Outstanding in its own field, Randall Reed with the Forerunners run from reason with “The Peppermint Stick Man.” If ever a Stephen King suggestion flew out of a Christmas song, this would be it. Don’t take my word for it, allow Avoicecrying33 to set up this masterpiece in his own ineffable way (& he takes a minute to get going).