Christmas Countdown: 1959

The Continental Drifters ballad hard on Mama and Daddy whose farm failed and ran them into the ground. But the good times are encapsulated when his brother saw his first TV, It was the Christmas of 1959 and they families up for a few. “Daddy Just Wants It to Rain” is the American horror story of working hard, not mattering, and being forgotten. This American rock should help fix some of that. But, gee….

Mom and Dad in an unnamed singer’s “Christmas in Three-Quarter Time” are doing better. With all their snuggliness and kisses and icy-slow country music, they enjoy still driving the car made in ’59.

Kent Goodson & Michael Panasuk also recall a good time around “Christmas 1959.” boogie woogie (but slow, for the old folks). Brenda Lee, the King, Jerry Lee, they were all there!

Singing Bells

Sometimes the tintinnabula are just instruments to make music at Yuletide. Just play along.

Kidsong leans on this idea so those tensed up kids can let loose with some percussion. See: “Ring Little Bells” as performed by the Christian Sesame Street Veggie Tales. Wee, wot fun.

Infectiously round the Christmas Songs and Carols channel on Youtube has put “Ring, Ring, Ring the Bells” to the tune of ‘row your boat.’ Your kids don’t stand a chance.

Greg Page has the kids cheer for the “Christmas Bells.” In his kidsong the you sing la la lala la with the bells. Okay.

Etta James conducts your kids with “Ring the Bells.” Altogether now.

Dingle dangle dingle ding is just some of the message brought to you by Peggy Lee in “Ring Those Christmas Bells.” It’s not singing so much as onamotopeoia-ing.

The Bandana Splits boogie some boogie with “All the Bells” Sweet Christmas song.

Baby It’s Coal: oh I see!

Coal in your Christmas stocking might be a reminder to straighten up and fly right for next time.

Look to the cartoons to teach ya. My Little Pony‘s Pop Fly laments show tune style with “Last Year I Got Coal for Christmas.” On the path to improvement, but that attitude needs adjusting still.

Private Eye Music go boogie woogie with their loaded lesson “Lump of Coal.” Kid took his lumps and came back reflectively. Or at least looking at how his behavior differed from the other children. Well, the song sure is fun.

ReduXmas: Pick a Card

Songs about Christmas are so endemic that the merest ephemera or frippery is grist for the Xmas music mill. Hence, dozens of songs about Christmas cards. You’d think, with the electronic age, we’d’ve run out of these selections. Think this:

I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Write Myself a Christmas Card” is a parody of the old 1930s bluesy band number, here done up jug band style by Dan Hicks and the Christmas Jug Band. Hi de ho.

Shot o’ Soul reassures us that “You Won’t Get No Christmas Card from Me.” He’s so over us with his boogie woogie funk.

Don We Now: whadja not wanna get?

Did you really ASK for something to wear?: ‘Course you didn’t! That’s lame-o!

Grandma’s Christmas Shirt” tells us the story of that gift you have to wear but you’d rather burn. The Good Year Pimps go appropriately punk for this honest discourtesy.

Drunk parody fun time! “What Tie is This?” takes a turn at ‘Child’ with the wit of Robert Lund of FuMP. You’ll larf, if you’ve lived this.

‘Course there’s the sizing problem. Mel Blanc gives us classic nationalism with “The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Beeg.” Reeng dee bell and beet duh drom.

Then there’s socks. Something Awful Christmas Songs tells the whole sordid BLUE ALERT tale in “King Lou’s Terrible Christmas Song.” You might need a drink.

Andy Pagana gives you the actual list of what he does want. But most especially, he country kidsongs, “I Don’t Want Clothes for Christmas.” You’ve been warned.

The worst gift JD McPherson ever got? “Socks.” A jazz romp of considerable elasticity.

Boogie rock with Trout Fishing in America: “Santa Brought Me Clothes.” You need to reinventory your misdeeds for the year, dudes. Santa’s telling you something.

Don We Now: Santa not suit

When is a Santa suit not a Santa suit?

When “Santa’s Got a Sharkskin Suit.” Rockabilly from Bob Wire and Chip Whitson refits the season. It was time for a change.

Jerelyn Craden (of Joy Jam) also redresses the fashion crimes of the jolliest elf with “Santa’s in a Bathing Suit,” But he was in L.A. so no worries, bra.

Hi-5 also recommend “Santa Wear Your Shorts” when visiting them in Hawaii. Kip bop pop.

Dave Rudolph goes dirty jump blues with his “Santa’s Got a Zoot Suit.” Sah-Moken!

Take a Card: boogie woogie

Cousin to jazz, grandpa to rock and country, this African-American stress reliever made us happier than the blues–and we could dance to it!

“Boogie Woogie Christmas Card” by Jimmy Maddox checks off all the boxes: virtuosity, glee, Christmas card… it’s just what i wanted!

As Seen on TV: Community

Rick and Morty‘s creator’s earlier brilliant-but-what’s-the-demographic? sitcom was not known for breakout songs, but attention must be paid to these study group misfits during the holidays.

The 2010 stop motion episode ‘Abed’s Uncontollable Christmas’ brings it.

The “Intro Song” is a takeoff of The 88’s series opening music this time with Xmas.

The characters turn into Christmas claymation tropes and have a couple memorable 3-line songs for characterization, including “Brittabot” and “Christmas Douche.”

The meaning of Christmas is put together in the show stopper “That’s What Christmas is For.” John Oliver! Christmas pterodactyl!

The next year is about singing Xmas for Glee club. To win over the surly main character, the Jewish nerd girl sings “Annie’s Christmas Song.” Brother, that’s jazz striptease junk with Betty Boop botheration.

The overlooked housewife gets a big gospel (half) number with “Happy B-Day, Jesus.” Go tell it on the lafftrack.

The actual “Community Glee Club” performance is a sad throwaway about how the hot blonde is tone deaf.

Troy & Abed’s Christmas Rap Battle,” however, convinces the Asperger’s kid and the conflicted cool athlete to celebrate a holiday they would otherwise disdain. Much prettier, or at least much faster.

Comedy gold from those boys finally in order to convince the geriatric in “Baby Boomer Santa,” an addictive songĀ  about the evolution of St. Nick through musical genres. An American Pearl.