Category Archives: blues

High Mojo (BLUE ALERT)

Other significant contributors to the sexualization of Christmas carols include the gonzo pyschobillyist Mojo Nixon. Neil Kirby McMillan Jr may be retired now, but he has left a legacy of ’80s frat boy scream-alongs that echo today with the the truth of sexual imperative.

With The Toadliquors 1992 Mojo gave unto us Horny Holidays! an album of blue material including “It’s Christmas Time” where the blues bust loose in a cry for lovin’ that is found under the belt area.

The cover of Jimmy Butler’s “Trim Your Tree” maintains the strain on the buttoned-up pants.

Horny Claus is a prime actor in “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.” This rambles, shambles, and doublebacks. Man, that’s the nastiest!

Fearing Unhappy Comfortless Killjoys (BLUE ALERT)

The unacknowledged stepchild of country, the blues, gets more mileage out of misery. So a blues number railing over the unjust season of Xmas? Cover your ears, Mother.

The Legendary Tiger Man (One Man Band) holds no bars with “Fuck Christmas, I Got the Blues.” But he does keep some rhythm. So, testify.

HATE Xmas.13

Let’s narrow down some of the individual peeves what makes Christmas such an abomination. First: $$$.

The commercialism of the George Patience (??) 1986 MTV videotape music video belies the message in “I Hate Christmas.” It’s about the show! Terrible!

The freezing temperatures make poverty less and less joyous for noel-time. Cheetah Chrome dogpaddles through “Christmas Sucks” with some easy listening retro folk. Boo, capitalism.

Working class UK hiphoppery tackles this class warfare with E&D TV’s “Anti Christmas Song.” No wonder Robin Hood, innit?

Jimmy Witherspoon became a name in USO shows during WWII. His ’54 flipside to ‘Boogie Woogie Santa Claus’ is “How I Hate to See Christmas Come Around” (aka ‘Christmas Blues’). It’s calming blues, but it still wails about not having enough for the gal who deserves more.

Sick of Christmas: doctor! doctor!

Let’s go to the place people die, the hospital. Why would you go there?! At Christmas time?!

Feist from A Colbert Christmas album, has a lovely folk-version paean about being on hold during prayer, but i read it as being in the er hoping a nurse will finally help. Listen to “Please be Patient” and test that theory.

Larry the Cable Guy is more grisly with his parody “Call a Doctor.” He’s got no friggin’ hand!

New Orleans-man Louie Ludwig might be a bit too late… “Christmas at the Hospital” is slow blues rock… ‘but you’re not there.’ Now what does that mean?

Sick of Christmas: malaise

«Whether it’s cold and flu season, airport outbreak, allergies to pine spores, or ‘leisure sickness’ (whereby the letdown of relaxing after the flurry of preparation crashes your immune system)… Christmas is a time of ill feelings.

Course by this time of year, we tend to get sick of it anywho. Many songs will attest as much, plus which indigestion, slip-and-falls, STDs, family shootings, and inappropriately timed diagnoses.

Bundle up, buckle up, pour some Bubble-Up and listen up.

Andina and Rich piss and moan about the mess of Christmess in “Buddy, I’m Just Sick to Death of Christmas.” Don’t take it to heart–folk kidding

Lee Harris delivers this baby from his coo-coo-cool ’06 album in “I’m So Sick of Christmas.” Are you picking up what he’s putting down?

Take a Card: addressed

Check that return address, wouldja?

Pat Boone pokes fuddy-duddy fun at the cold with his “California Christmas Card.” It’s like Parkinsons and schmaltz had a grandbaby!

Diedre Jenkins gets bluesy country in a lower register for her “Missouri Christmas Card.” This time the sentiment’s serioius (‘tho i wish she didn’t pronounce it ‘misery’).

Straw gets us out of this world with “Christmas Card from Vietnam.” Light blues mashed up with someone zipping up a coat, i think.

Presents of Mine: choose blues

What’s a holiday season without regret? Let those blues come out to play!

Jimmy Reed from 1971 adds some funk to the blues and gets mushmouthed for “Christmas Present Blues.” He’s upset about you, baby. Show some ‘preciation, honey.

In the 1920s rap sounded different. The Rev. A.W. Nix represents how “Death May be Your Christmas Present.” I mention it, ‘cuz it’s on quite the original blues collection album.

Screwing with the genre, Wheels Fargo & The Nightengale get Cajun honkytonk swing for their “Christmas Present Blues.” Infidelity!

Presents of Mine: deliverance

How’d those Christmas presents become yours? Santa, take a bow!

Walter Schumann and Jester Hairston credit Santa (briefly) while extolling those wonderful “Christmas Gifts.” A repost, but so worth the gospel jubilation.

Pamela Hines cruises the octaves for her “Gift of Giving.” Santa is nearly as amazing as her jazz vocals.

Mostly we LOVE Santa for all that he does. The Flashcats rock in the poppiest way with “I Wanna be Santa’s Present.” She wants to ride on his big sleigh–snicker! Wait, she marries him!?

Noelle Bangert salutes the season with an uptempo pop blues number, “Leave a Present for Me.” She’s bending over backwards for Santa. Fun song.

Presents of Mine: drastic plastic

How bad does Christmas shopping credit card debt become?

Austin Lounge Lizards have an instructional doom-tune for you: “Credit Card Xmas.” Fun country rock that teaches you like a club to the head.

Morose folk from Rich Cashman. The sorrowfulness of “Credit Card Christmas” makes you want to be under the tree.

Asa and Christy Lennon busted up their car running over deer and with sudden new bills suffer a “Credit Card Christmas” this year. Their country pop makes the best of it. But you know this is a difficult time.

Tony Coleman sings gorgeous blues for his “Credit Card Christmas.” The man is hurting from his lack of financial foresight.

pee ess, the 1000th posting! yay!

Presents of Mine: shopping blues

Has the spending and crowding and futility of it all got you down, bucko? Time to wail the blues.

Along the Road make the blues pretty with “Christmas Shopping Mall Blues.” Shiny big band finishing, melodic, yeah even a bit whiney. Next.

Fat, Happy and Blue jazz up the blues to the level of gin bar with “Christmas Shopping Blues.” Still flashy, sexy, and stand-uppity. What else?

Raw, ragged, and joyously hopeless, The Christmas Jug Band gallop around “X-Mas Shopping Blues.” Roaring fun. (Still wish i had some Memphis growlin’.)