Christmas Countdown: 6 packs and more

The perfect man is fit and trim. Like when The Big Red guy’s cuttin’ back So he can fit down my chimney stack–Yeah, “Santa’s Got a Six Pack.” Mmm, he’s all that and a bag of gifts. Fine girl rockabilly from Ciera MacKenzie.

The perfect woman brings the six pack And 2 bottles a wine when she drops by. Galactic Junkrod recounts the time “Mary Christmas” (Mrs. Santa?) visited a dumped dupe for a few rounds of holiday cheer. Double entendres ensue. And a version of rockabilly.

Like progressives on the left side 3 drinks in. 6 shots deep; It’s nearly cleared out for the night, soul chants White Lucy from a BLUE ALERT dark place–emotionally and dive-bar-istically. “Xmas on the West Side” is a plea to get back together. Don’t quit your day job.

When “It’s Christmas Time Again” Yay Raven’s family gathers and–ha ha–patience is tested. Smooth R+B celebrates these oddballs, including when the eggnog got spiked And grandpa drinks too much And he drank 6 cups And he drives us round the bend. Don’t let him drive!

Shoe finds a bottle by a tree, so I drank a glass or maybe eight to celebrate Santa(?)’s gift to him. This retro rock with pop country teetering in claims he’s “2 Drunk 4 Xmas.” Don’t argue with him.

We got tunes and chips, six cans of beer drawls out Tsmusicproject. In lieu of celebration, this dearth of Xmas materials allows them to appreciate their own love. With two step fervor they want to dance away these “Christmas Blues.”

Getting funny/funky, Beat Avenger delivers the disco in “White Clawsmas.” I have six small cans that are full of fun juice, he announces. Get his keys!

Larry Costa gets the band big together with the giggly “Six Cups of Egg Nog.” His Sinatra impression ain’t half bad, but the humor of over drinking is Deano all the way. Crassly uproarious.

Christmas Countdown: 100??

What else is 100 at Christmas?

100 caps in on the short list of “All I Want” from Kj-52 & Spechouse. Raucous rap that’s just kidding.

100 proof is good enough for RaeLynn in the clever country pop “Jingle Bell Drunk.” Strangely, she thinks she’s got YOU–but still wants to take the edge off with the hard stuff.

A hundred bird baths is only part of the thought that counts in “Christmas at the Zoo” from Jacob Jeffries & Beauty Queen. A remarkably cornball big band concoction, this party brings Xmas to the animals. ‘Bout time!

Domain and Rangifer: believing is believing

Are the reindeer on the roof enough to persuade you of the magic that is Xmas?

Take it from me, croons Nick Lowe in “Hooves on the Roof.” Jazzy electronica.

Allie Jo Thomas says it plainly: she believes in Santa ’cause she heard “Reindeer on the Roof.” Sprightly kidsong.

All You Gotta Do is Believe You Got a Hoof on the Roof.” Believe it or not, The Hooves sing this bombastic big band gospel call to legs.

The stages from sceptic to advocate outline Ideascapes Music with their jazz big band “Reindeer on the Roof.” Twirl, two three. Whee!

X-claim: hey (pt. 2)

Some exclamatory songs aren’t hollering at Xmas itself, they want the notice of a certain someone. YOU!! (maybe)

RuPaul (feat Markaholic) gathers the girls with “Hey Sis, It’s Christmas.” This dance rap stokes the folks afraid to enter the dance floor. Come on (you can have a refrain, too)!

Just as queer, Randy Rainbow’s “Hey Gurl, It’s Christmas!” smacks the fourth wall show tune style. Those in the know expect the political commentary, but this extravaganza is the whole party start to finish.

Hey Little Drummer Boy” is rockabilly reverence, believe it or don’t. The original po’ boy wittout no geeft is honored in style by Tiger Room. (Not fur shore ’bout the credit here, several ‘bands’ on several compilations are credited for this hot number–my link is to the earliest i could find.)

Rocking Cosgrove makes pop music out of rocking country in “Hey Baby It’s Christmas.” Seamless and catchy, but i’m trying to lower my sugary intake. Phew.

Oli Patto goes the imperfect pop route with “Hey! Baby It’s Christmas Day!” slamming the lyrics hard and riffing off ’12 Days.’ Ironic pop.

Fing’s “Hey Baby It’s Christmas” is classier with bebop and harmony and gravelly vocals. Not pop much.

Tony Spar and Brett Lashley big band up “Hey Baby It’s Christmas” with more jazz than you can handle. Delightful.

X-claim: hello (pt. 3)

What’s up with greeting the holidays? Songwriters think this is some amusing apostrophe to the personification of an institution, or sumfen.

Gabriela Radu sings like an impatient child calling out “Hello Christmas.” But the sultry rhythms and slurring diva tones creep out the kidsong genre. Run, Christmas!

(Maybe) not as skin-crawly, Peter Joannou (Brighton’s Singing Barber) galumphs through “Hello Christmas” as a maudlin, inescapable hearkening to olden times in that old smokey lounge lost from a distant decade or two. Shiver me Decembers!

Thwp adds “Hello Christmas” to their chorus to let the calendar know they’re on to the imminence of that festivity. Kid rock that stinks of pop.

Aging dad band Robocalls (fronted by Roger Bogren) rocks the Kohl’s with “Hello Christmas.” Creaky and not fully fluent with English, they get it their best.

Les Fradkin may have been something a while ago, but his grandpop pop “Hello Christmas, Goodbye Year” is too measured and mannered to be the rock he’s looking for. Trying to be hip without breaking one.

Newlife Music reminds us in “Hello Christmas” that the King is born. A little gloria is interjected thusly and this indie pop falalas hither and yon. It’s engaging stuff, but light on lyrics for all its message.

Josh Ingyu uses “Hello Christmas!” as a rollicking pop intro to the whole year of holidays. My calendar says otherwise, but i threw it on the floor when i heard this stomper.

Myla Smith demurs in her coy country-band yummy “Hello, Christmas!” (Finally: full punctuation!) Her reticence is from being on the receiving end of cheating, so it’s a wonder she’s as perky as this. Got a real Dolly-warble going for her (that’s a good thing).

Wait–I Mean It

Let’s get mean. At this point Christmas is over, and we don’t know why we were so gung ho. I mean, what did we expect, really?

Punk pop from The Earps pees all over the traditions in “I Can’t Wait for Christmas (To be Over).” Slight BLUE ALERT. You know.

Heather Henderson gets ironic big band chanteuse about cat poop and parental insecurity with the luminous “I can’t Wait for Christmas… to be Over.” Give the little lady a hand sanitizer.

Don’t Wait

Wait, don’t wait–what’s a child to do with Christmas in the neighborhood?

“Don’t Wait ’til the Night Before Christmas” to be good, so went the big band standard from pre-WWII. I enjoy Miss Rose & Her Rhythm Percolators wagging a trumpeted finger atcha. Rosemary Clooney and Nick Clooney have a fun rehearsal tape of this. For good measure, here’s Dick Robertson and His Orchestra setting you straight:

12 o’Clock Bells

Bells might ring all through the holidays. They certainly do the week after Christmas for the new year.

Dave Para and friends gets in the folk community spirit with “Ring in the New Year.” Unplugged revelry.

Garage celebration from Motion City Soundtrack. “Together We’ll Ring in the New Year” is churlish and sarcastic. But, that’s good for the genre.

Let him die, intone the a cappella Crofts Family with a dirge for the old. Not sure i’d sing this “Ring Out Wild Bells” on Dec. 31. Folk sorrow from the Alfred Lord Tennyson poem ‘In Memoriam.’

Vintage crooner Johnny Cole chimes in on “Ring Out Wild Bells.” The new is coo’, daddio.

Did I say cool? Billy Ward & His Dominoes is gonna take us on a trip to Mars “Ringing in a Brand New Year.” Doo wop done right.

Zip

No Xmas presents because you forgot?! Is that the weakest excuse ever?!

Sonny James plays it cute despite the steel guitar country twang of “I Forgot to Remember Santa Claus” while buying presents. It’s 1954-ful of innocence.

Tony and Da Guys brandish the cool guy big band swing of “I Forgot That It was Christmas” like that ain’t no thang. You might get away with those bad manners, ya so charmin’!+