We Whisker You a Merry Christmas

Hairdos and don’ts make up human civilization. The follicular top o’ your head may have a function (thermoregulation/UV screen), but what you do with that stuff says a lot about power and sex. It’s a choice.

More so with facial hair. As half of us don’t have that (and those that have do so only after nubility, so to speak), this is solely a mating display. Let’s not limit ourselves to the  intersexual attraction (attracting females), but also consider the intrasexual competition (intimidating rival males). The bushy ‘staches and bountiful beards signify wisdom, strength, or homelessness. Who’s got the worldwide attention of pognophiles? Yahweh, Jesus, Mohammed… and Santa Claus. (Buddha and John Smith shaved as a message for something or other.)

So, here’s to holiday plumage (mostly from the neck up)! We must kick it off with Santa… sure sure sure.

Santa’s hippie-like hisuitsm has been overseen once before on the blog.

Otis Gibbs also has his doubts in the authentic country music of “Lookin’ Like a Hippie.” That’s some fine fiddlin’

LN & AND spell out for us how much God and Santa look alike with the thoughtful indie “Santa’s Beard.” It takes about a minute.

Oh No!

Nearly the worst that could befall us Christmas-wise would be a Santa-cide.

DJ Chestnuts raps over the reverb about our merry loss in “Christmas Tragedy.” Another Santa dead….

Cocoon swings it Sufjan Stevens style with the startling “Christmas Song.” No graphic details here, just innuendo after Santa doesn’t appear: The reindeer may have been shot in the skies.

Some random teens appear as The Untitled and indie up the sentiment with “A Christmas Tragedy.” Short, but not sweet.

Aw, Rats!

The Worst Day That I’ve Had (Joseph’s Song)” is Sammy Horner’s swinging pub rock (great violin) all about infidelity and noisy animals during childbirth and Christmas (I sure do hope that some good comes from our little lad ). Good stuff.

Sneakthief sings “Merry Christmas, from the Worst Year of My Life” seems to allude to COVID-19. Pretty whining, on the other hand.

Jonas Selander measures up freezing to death in “Christmas Night Tragedy” (AKA ‘Winter Night Tragedy’), a short but lively alt jaunt.

Damn That Holiday: Armageddon.9

After all the good stuff is ruined, Jonathan Mann tells the little ones how much he’d like to “Let It Snow (In the Year 2063).” Gallumphing blues make global warming charmingly scary.

Despite accomplishments like moon landings, SoftLightes points out our loss of love. Consequently There’s a fire that’s burnin’ and demandin’ and this may be “The Last Christmas on Earth.” Dancing is prescribed in this rocker.

The excess is no excuse! “More!” by Devin Townsend invokes greed from the kids, the self, and Jesus, too. Salesmen are-a-coming and they want more! Christmas is-a-coming and kids want more! Armageddon is-a-coming and we want more we say! It’s our way, with metal.

Michael M thinks children are the future… and that sucks. “Humans are Not Worth Saving (Merry Christmas)” is poppin’ indie with a ‘tude.

Damn That Holiday: Armageddon.5

The screeching metal of “Eco​-​Crisis (All I Want for Christmas is the End of the World)” is Big Brother asking you to take a good look at yourself and quit killing the planet. ‘Kay?

Party at the End of the World” by The Boys suggests dancing. Odd indie wanderer.

I Hate New Years Eve” includes watching those people on TV who lose their minds like it’s the end of time. Fine folk pop from The Sunflower Spectacle. Tell us what you really think.

Maybe It’s Not the End of the World” hopes Kerrin Connolly. But her folky indie has to discount the disasters, catastrophes, and radioactive fallout to get to that silver (and gold) lining. So long as you’re singing, i have hope.

Damn That Holiday: Hell.9

2020 was THE Pandemic year. As such it was a HELL of a year. So the song record shows. Kari Loya employs sitar sounds to punch up the electronica of “There’s Still Christmas” (and Hanukkah, it’s sad).

1993 was another helluva year. I guess. Well, the lines are: It’s been a hell of a year And we need you here. “Put On Another Christmas Song” by Brittlestar (feat. Emma Rudy) is dandy Celtic pop. It makes hell better, dunnit?

It’s been one hell of a year was a 2021 sendoff from King Carol (feat. gig Wigmore) in “Christmas Party“–a party retro rocker of grrl power.

Young Mister hits the indie mood drum thoughtfully with “Helluva Year (But Christmas is Here).” Patrience, young padawan. This one takes its time.

Damn That Holiday: devil.2

Dancing with devils and making angels in the snow are The Night Hobs with the heavily orchestrated “Waltz of the Gingerbread Goblins.” More music than lyrics, more dance than sing.

Santa’s Angry Elves metal out when they warn you that “Frosty’s the Devil.” It’s the nose, innit?

The devil’s in the details when Slow Smile alt-rocks “A Pink Badger for Christmas.” That’s a lot of party music for details.

Damn That Holiday: devil.0

Demons may be minions to The Devil, but we allow for devils as upper management given how taken we are with all things underworld.

The Cupheads Show offers a pretty cool devil. Luke Millington-Drake showtunes prettily in “A Very Devil Christmas Song” from the special holiday episode. See, the goodness of the season motivates a do-badder to lower lows.

Spinal Tap might be well known for their gothic hair metal irony “Christmas with the Devil.” Yes, that’s Michael McKean, Harry Shearer, and Christopher Guest. Clap if you believe.

Cellus Hamilton (ft. Isaiah Jenkins) reminds us Devil hated Christmas, showed up, Devil’s like Grinch: Try to steal the Christmas on us in his dropped bars and busted rhymes “Up All Night.”

Sufjan Steven’s muddles up reality once again for the mightily metaphoric “Lonely Man of Winter.” Among other things, this enigma is riding in the devil’s abyss. Cool indie.

X Files-mas: Golems

Is Marie Shelley’s famed monstrous creation merely a Talmudic throwback? The golem is life (human shaped) created by and animated most often by other humans. An Old Testament entry suggest this could be the progenitor of the human, or a blank slate for good or evil purposes. Like us!

Element Animation (feat. Dan Bull) offers up “The Ballad of Bob the Snow Golem.” The peripatetic night watchman is bad then good then bad again. Least it stopped that zombie horde. Cute rap against Minecraft.

Der Golemz offers bilingual “Der Golem Has Stolen The Stollen.” ‘Tis a simple story: Golem takes Christmas bread, eats and sickens. Celtic-like for a fairy tale feeling, but still alt-pop. And fun.

X Files-mas: Ghosts future

Dickens may have cornered the market on Advent apparitions, but there are other corners. (Only metaphysical–no metaphors may apply.)

Christmas Ghost Waltz” by RW Hedges & Luca Nieri summons laughter and dancing in the night. Spooky waltz music like a maddened music box.

All Cannelle wants for the holidays is “The Christmas Ghost” of you. She trundles off to bed whispering with a tympanic lullaby for your essence. What could go wrong?

Drew James dreams of his “Christmas Ghost” and is revisited by all his past memories of family and happier times. Indie wistfulness.

Riffing on Dickens, “The Ghost of Christmas Present Gave Me The Wedding Present for Christmas” by Trevor Sensitive and the Locals imagines the true meaning of Xmas: cool music. Hypnotic indie.

Most upbeat is the dance music from The Ohio City Players in the form of “The Ghosts.” Sing, ghosts, sing!

Alt rocking, MU 330 compares the “Ghosts of Christmas” to those of Halloween. The wintry ones are too real, the autumnal ones too fake. Cue the depression.

Christmas Ghost” by Le chat au café tinkles a cute stringy invitation to whatever’s on the other side. Cool? Gross? Doesn’t matter!