The Christmas sweater may have begun with Andy Williams and his televised holiday specials, but the BBC co-opted Christmas jumpers through the ’80s. THE joke gift of the ’90s, the so-called ugly hand-crafted relative-bestowed woolly overdecorated pullover fell by the wayside, only to become an ironic champion to the millennials in the 2010s.

We’ll cover a few days with the lovely songs about them, from sweetest to sourest.

The Ghost Script (Matt Thompson) countdowns the traditions that make December Christmas. With blaring jazzy pop, he finds his “Favorite Christmas Sweater” and becomes the hero.

Hanson (grown up!) falls in love at first sight with “My Favorite Christmas Sweater.” Pop folk.

Noah Glenn is also in love. “Christmas Sweaters” are pop rock symptoms of that overweening force. He’s a goner.

“Sweater, What Could be Sweeter?” is the rhetorical jazz pop poser from Bilbo Kipler. It was the best thing ever.

You know what’s the best? Listen to “Ugly Christmas Sweater” arranged by Daniel Semsen and find out what orchestrated pop show tunes say are the best.

Lovely floating altrock lifts “My Favorite Christmas Sweater” from Isaac Romero to heavenly drug states. That sweater makes him feel good.

Coloring outside the lines helps bands brand with their own sound. It’s not exactly rock, or folk, or metal… WTF?

But i loves so much of it.

It’s folk! It’s the blues! It’s country! Henry Cyr worries about sending that “Christmas Card” to you. He’s crying and crooning.

Blending symphonic easy listening with jazz and pop, Nancy Kelly likes her “Christmas Cards.” Seductively persuasive.

BLUE ALERT: driving rock + light folk + playful pop = “The Christmas Card Song” by Craig L. McEachern. Do i smell some punk aftertaste?

Alt is often thoughtful and heavily poetic. In the words of a “Christmas Card” Jonathan Reuel considers his life. And yours. Folk, garage, blues.

Dismissively garage and sorta punk, the minimalist “Christmas Card” embodies the empty sentiment of buying that damned thing, or anything. Henry Kroll III jazz free associates the insanity.

Pop jazz country R+B, Christine Anu’s “Christmas Card” is honestly full of love. Take heart!

The Many-Splendored Things take the time to describe “A Christmas Card (In My Heart)” with some colorful detail, sprightly jazz, flirty folk, and pop back ups. Thank you.

Did i mention how important the Christmas card list was? Who’s on it, who innit, it’s a horserace of favorites and disappointments.

Peter Ward sloshily rides the rote “Christmas Card List” with yelling folk and boinging sound effects. And a laff track. Roll with it.

Dick Dedrick does that weird country music thing where he lectures out his song “Cards that Count/My Kind of Christmas.” It starts with the importance of who’s on the list. Then… well, take notes, aliens, if you want to recreate this fantasy no one ever lived through.

Narrowing down that list to that one special name, the person you only have “A Christmas Card Relationship” with reveals an important purpose of the list: casual regret. The last vestige of contact you have with someone who may have once been instrumental in your life is that address and name–still current? Chris Davidson flies this flag with alt pop sincerity and tugs some heartstring. Thanks, man, now’m sad.

By calling out how it’s “Just Another Christmas Song” Stolen Moments takes a step out of the hearth warmth and holds us aloof and lonely (you’re not here). But is that empty spot a lost love… or God?? Country cornball over-orchestrated pop/slop.

Fundraising from home Lins Honeyman is singing “Just Another Christmas Song” to jumpstart your spirit. Redeem for his cause. I mean now.

Jethro Tull gets poetical/political (what else is new?) with “Another Christmas Song,” but this one’s to convince world leaders to quit the warring and give us world peace. Songs do that, you know.

Time for prime time networks to sell albums. I mean, movies do it. Fox begins this trend with the soapy young troubles kind of shows (The WB/CW perfects it later). Background montage soundtrack might cover only a minute or so of the song, but stars are made from excited fans who want to recreate their lives from their special fictional friends’ lives.

“Maybe This Christmas” by Ron Sexsmith from season 1’s ep. ‘The Best Chrismukkah Ever.’

“Christmas with You is the Best” by The Long Winters appears in that episode and also season 2’s ‘The Chrismukkah that Almost Wasn’t.’

In the latter is “Christmas” by Leona Naess. Slow funky alt folk. Moody.

Season 3’s ‘The Chrismukkah Bar-Mitzvahkkah’ has “Christmas Day in the Sun” by Hot Hot Heat. A banger.

One song that was a character’s favorite, but was not a mood setter was “Just Like Christmas” by Low. Alt pop, but bach pad good.

To paraphrase Voltaire, If television didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

TV has made us as much as we’ve made it. TV has made Christmas what it is today. So obviously, we need to focus on RankinBass specials and Hallmark magic love movies that play once, twice, twelve times a year. But NO. We here at novelty Christmas music dotcom must ever hunt more elusive game: the sudden original song in the serial experience. No, not awkward caroling by our weekly stars, but actual entries into the canon of never-hear-that-afore celebrations of the holidays. Honestly, an enormity of these will be from cartoons. And i will allow cartoon specials/albums from established characters. (But NO musical variety shows.)

And i’ll start with something else weird: Christmas songs about TVs.

Ancient M.A.N. revisit their childhood with all those specials i promised i’d overlook and how much they taught us the true spirit of Christ. “Christmas Cartoon Song” is maudlin folk with a touch of alt.

52 New Things focuses on the offerings of “Christmas Day TV.” A later generation (slightly before cable, it sounds like) also uses folk (with mad fiddling) enjoys those special family movie selections that preempted soaps.

Modern despair from The Deckchairs who watch “TV Xmas” and drink to forget. Party punk.

The Buddy System gets alt-retro with “Xmas on TV.” More music, less message! Just like TV!