Let’s fool around with some more side eye on The War on Christmas. Those conservatives sound like this: fuff fu fuff uff fuffy uff fuff. Ha ha ha. Showed them up.
Erin McKeown’s Anti-Holiday Spectacular eventually introduces her singsongy ultimatum “Christmas (Love It Or Leave It)” with some strongly proclaimed un-Christian sentiments. I-ah-ron-ick!
“It’s a War on Christmas” alts out The Holiday Bloch-busters about the incursions, intrusions, and intolerance of fighting over Peace on Earth.
Santa could keep his hearth and home happy with that frisky promise of bride and groom. I think that’s all a couple needs–i read that somewhere.
If the longest sentence in the English language is ‘I do,’ then maybe Santa’s stuck with Mrs. Claus and “Mrs. Claus is Ugly” according to Santa’s Angry Elves. Rude metal, but no significant swearing.
Now that the work’s done, “Let’s Have Some Fun, Mrs. Claus.” Morning delight with a gypsy waltzing lilt from Emma Wallace and Marie Bee. Well, gee, i had fun.
“Chasing Mrs. Claus ‘Round the North Pole” is just the party raunchy alt we need to visualize to feel better about the cuddly twosome. Thanks Lust Control. Now i can stop thinking about my parents’ wedding night.
Boxing Day is like turning a corner. New hope for everyone!
Merry Christmas/Christmas is over! hollers Xmas Movie Soundtrack in their “Boxing Day.” Insistent pop offers a hand into the next day. Remember me?
Poprant leans hard on the classic rock beat to alt the torture of tomorrow with “Boxing Day.” Something… anything.
Folk rock accompanies “Boxing Day Drive” opn the way to deliver the late gifties. Mick Thomas’ Roving Commission delivers on the genre that comes after the blues.
Matthew West sneaks in some Jesus with “Day After Christmas,” country pop with the retort that Christianity never takes a day off. Keep on Christmassing!
Maybe he’ll see you after Xmas next year? Sam DeMartino’s “Boxing Day” is a pretty folk pop song with his pretty voice with some pretty messed up stalker vibe.
The powerful concept of family for Christmas inspires far and wide. Way far. Far side far. Some of these songs are to WTF for me to pigeonhole, but not to appreciate.
The Shake blues-metals around the bush for “Families and Christmas Trees.” Just distractions from the real meaning of life?
The Studs punk-metals a rollercoaster of feels for “Donner Family Christmas Party.” Pain = life. Don’t eat each other.
More punk metal from DIE NASTY. “It’s Christmas (My Family’s All Dead)” smells like a parody, but it’s not really about –oh i give up. Sociopathy.
More quietly, Chris Mayor draws out the alt-rock so that each word takes a half dozen notes. Christmas isn’t at issue here (i think) but family inspired by the holidays is. And “Family” is on his Xmas EP. So here goes:
We know family is so important for Christmas when we can’t see them. That void can only be filled with a song.
Serving your country can keep you from home. Daniel O’Flaherty mourns “Christmas Without Family” in spare Celtic folk. Wait, is he in prison?
Crappy Canadian pop from Rita MacNeil promises she’ll share “With My Family.” Perhaps they’re not here right now… or they’re dead… can’t tell.
Jesse Daniel Smith gets melancholic about his absence with “Please Hang Out with Your Family,” an alt-reggae bit o’ the blues. Learn from his pain.
Can you fake a family? ‘Course you can! ‘Tis the season to fool Pee and Em about your marital status.
Is this really a problem?! Please re-listen to Sara Baker’s “(I Hate) Every single Christmas,” a showtune about nosy relates who wanta know about your lovelife, martial status, childbearing possibilities…. Eeek.
Team Natu has a folksy upbeat number in “Christmas Man.” I’m not sure if this guy’s a Craigslist ad, but you get the idea. Funny stuff.
New boyfriend? Bring ‘im! In-laws? C’mover! Blended fam? Uh-what! We’re running out of room around the holidays in our cozy house! Chaos!!
The happy-party-lovefest version of this sounds like Peter Andre with horns and uke and jazz and “Christmas Time’s for Family.” Can’t stop smiling!
Ross Bagdasarian (aka David Seville of Chipmunks fame) returns with “Let’s Have a Merry Merry Christmas” about the car crash of family get-togethers. 1953 big band pop hijinks.
In-laws are a popular bitch for Christmas. The Christmas Pranksters check the parody box with “My In-Laws are Coming to Town,” which i guess smells worse than Santa Claus doing that.
Celtic wonder from Mark Cummings also worried about “Inlaws Coming to
Town.” Now it’s philosophical questions rather than rando rants. Thoughtful crying.
All you need for Christmas is family. No presents, no food, no warmth, just co-sufferers. Or so the songs would have you believe.
Keith Williams has some country fun with “Redneck Family Christmas,” portraying the back woods as just another place–still got Santa (bringing roadkill). Some fun, huh.
Megatrax incorporates the music mill by offering “Redneck Family Christmas” with male or female vocals but without extending credit. Ain’t nothing but a down home portrait. Don’t know no better but to enjoy.
The Arrogant Worms lead us out of the South, well southern US. The South for Canada offers Great White Trash like “Christmas in Ignace.” This assault of a tune reveals the joy in getting a rock for a gift.
Troubles are part of the packaging when it comes to Christmasfamilytime.
“Black Dog Family” are better off without ’em. The old ones, anyway. Now, the new family (the little black dogs) are all Three Ninjas need. Awfully fun folk alt with commentary. BLUE ALERT–we hate ’em so much.
Shock reverberates after such trauma. Didn’t see it coming… couldn’t be at a worse time… what the fa-la-la–la-la…?
Merrill Leffman divas into the disbelief with “Dumped Before Christmas.” Her confusion is only surpassed by her tonelessness.
Followin’ her to her rendezvous, Big Yayo slathers on the soulful blues with “She Left Me for Christmas.” She wha? He wha? They wha? Damn.
Static Monsters bring back the talent with an alt-pop “Just Got Dumped” that slides effortlessly into metal, then back. This is the roller coaster of repercussions, so hang on.