Category Archives: altrock

WHAT ELSE? A New Box, Perhaps

Boxing Day is like turning a corner. New hope for everyone!

Merry Christmas/Christmas is over! hollers Xmas Movie Soundtrack in their “Boxing Day.” Insistent pop offers a hand into the next day. Remember me?

Poprant leans hard on the classic rock beat to alt the torture of tomorrow with “Boxing Day.” Something… anything.

Folk rock accompanies “Boxing Day Drive” opn the way to deliver the late gifties. Mick Thomas’ Roving Commission delivers on the genre that comes after the blues.

Matthew West sneaks in some Jesus with “Day After Christmas,” country pop with the retort that Christianity never takes a day off. Keep on Christmassing!

Maybe he’ll see you after Xmas next year? Sam DeMartino’s “Boxing Day” is a pretty folk pop song with his pretty voice with some pretty messed up stalker vibe.

It’s All Relative, what?

The powerful concept of family for Christmas inspires far and wide. Way far. Far side far. Some of these songs are to WTF for me to pigeonhole, but not to appreciate.

The Shake blues-metals around the bush for “Families and Christmas Trees.” Just distractions from the real meaning of life?

The Studs punk-metals a rollercoaster of feels for “Donner Family Christmas Party.” Pain = life. Don’t eat each other.

More punk metal from DIE NASTY. “It’s Christmas (My Family’s All Dead)” smells like a parody, but it’s not really about –oh i give up. Sociopathy.

More quietly, Chris Mayor draws out the alt-rock so that each word takes a half dozen notes. Christmas isn’t at issue here (i think) but family inspired by the holidays is. And “Family” is on his Xmas EP. So here goes:

It’s All Relative, the family-shaped hole

We know family is so important for Christmas when we can’t see them. That void can only be filled with a song.

Serving your country can keep you from home. Daniel O’Flaherty mourns “Christmas Without Family” in spare Celtic folk. Wait, is he in prison?

Crappy Canadian pop from Rita MacNeil promises she’ll share “With My Family.” Perhaps they’re not here right now… or they’re dead… can’t tell.

Jesse Daniel Smith gets melancholic about his absence with “Please Hang Out with Your Family,” an alt-reggae bit o’ the blues. Learn from his pain.

It’s All Relative, faux fam

Can you fake a family? ‘Course you can! ‘Tis the season to fool Pee and Em about your marital status.

Is this really a problem?! Please re-listen to Sara Baker’s “(I Hate) Every single Christmas,” a showtune about nosy relates who wanta know about your lovelife, martial status, childbearing possibilities…. Eeek.

Team Natu has a folksy upbeat number in “Christmas Man.” I’m not sure if this guy’s a Craigslist ad, but you get the idea. Funny stuff.

It’s All Relative, too much!

New boyfriend? Bring ‘im! In-laws? C’mover! Blended fam? Uh-what! We’re running out of room around the holidays in our cozy house! Chaos!!

The happy-party-lovefest version of this sounds like Peter Andre with horns and uke and jazz and “Christmas Time’s for Family.” Can’t stop smiling!

Ross Bagdasarian (aka David Seville of Chipmunks fame) returns with “Let’s Have a Merry Merry Christmas” about the car crash of family get-togethers. 1953 big band pop hijinks.

In-laws are a popular bitch for Christmas. The Christmas Pranksters check the parody box with “My In-Laws are Coming to Town,” which i guess smells worse than Santa Claus doing that.

Celtic wonder from Mark Cummings also worried about “Inlaws Coming to
Town.” Now it’s philosophical questions rather than rando rants. Thoughtful crying.

It’s All Relative, impoverished

All you need for Christmas is family. No presents, no food, no warmth, just co-sufferers. Or so the songs would have you believe.

Keith Williams has some country fun with “Redneck Family Christmas,” portraying the back woods as just another place–still got Santa (bringing roadkill). Some fun, huh.

Megatrax incorporates the music mill by offering “Redneck Family Christmas” with male or female vocals but without extending credit. Ain’t nothing but a down home portrait. Don’t know no better but to enjoy.

The Arrogant Worms lead us out of the South, well southern US. The South for Canada offers Great White Trash like “Christmas in Ignace.” This assault of a tune reveals the joy in getting a rock for a gift.

It’s All Relative, dogs BLUE ALERT

Troubles are part of the packaging when it comes to Christmasfamilytime.

“Black Dog Family” are better off without ’em. The old ones, anyway. Now, the new family (the little black dogs) are all Three Ninjas need. Awfully fun folk alt with commentary. BLUE ALERT–we hate ’em so much.

EX-Mas, disbelief

Shock reverberates after such trauma. Didn’t see it coming… couldn’t be at a worse time… what the fa-la-la–la-la…?

Merrill Leffman divas into the disbelief with “Dumped Before Christmas.” Her confusion is only surpassed by her tonelessness.

Followin’ her to her rendezvous, Big Yayo slathers on the soulful blues with “She Left Me for Christmas.” She wha? He wha? They wha? Damn.

Static Monsters bring back the talent with an alt-pop “Just Got Dumped” that slides effortlessly into metal, then back. This is the roller coaster of repercussions, so hang on.

EX-Mas, it’s not yule…

The announcement for the Xmas break-up is traditionally quiet, with a slammed door for punctuation.

Way underplayed is the jazzy scat from Goldentusk. “I’m Breaking up with You for Christmas” calmly takes us through the presents, surprises, and exit. Almost missed it–

Matt Roach also strums matter-of-factly through the split. “Paralyzed” is the reaction to your rapidly vanishing backside, on Christmas day. But, this fine folk tale is not done. His emotional freezing will be matched with a physical similarity. Listen to find out why.

Before Braille more prettily drops the bombshell with graphic explanations. Alt crooning makes it worse.

ReduXmas: Parodies’ Paradise

Man i love me some spot on hit song parodies that feature Christmas. So how could i have missed out on The Withers?! Time to rectify. (And sprinkle in a few other finds.)

1966: Buffalo Springfield releases ‘For What It’s Worth’ just before Christmas and it peaks on no. 7 of the Billboard charts, also becoming a big deal in the anti-Vietnam War movement. The Withers get hip with “What the Present’s Worth.”

1966: Hey, there are other parodiers! DeathTongue hits up the Johnny Rivers hit ‘Secret Agent Man’ from the TV deal with “Elf on the Shelf.” I spy with my little eye that that no.3 rocker is well served.</p>

1968: The Beatles rock softly with the Paul McCartney ‘Blackbird.’ The Withers play nice with their “Reindeer.”

1972: all-Rush mixtape has an adorable take on Bread’s ‘Guitar Man’ with an unapproachable “Santa Man.” The original hit number 11 on Billboard, but was no ‘Baby, I’ma Want You.’ And yet the parody is groovy gravy.

1974 Carl Douglas sold 11 million ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ singles and became one of the greatest one-hit wonders of all time. The Withers get kazoo crazy with “Christmas Lighting.”

1975: ‘Low Rider’ from War hit 7 on the Hot Singles chart, 1 on the R+B chart. Santa’s Elves fa la la it up with “Sleigh Rider.” Mr. Red’s got street cred.

1976: Blue Oyster Cult’s ‘(Don’t Fear) the Reaper’ barely broke the top ten, but had legs and was included in Rolling Stone‘s Top 500 Songs of all time. Dr. BLT’s “Don’t Fear the New Year” is not karaoke slavish to the original, it just putzes around having fun. (The Withers, natch, mock it up with “Don’t Feed the Reindeer.”)

1976: Starland Vocal Band adds to our slanglish with ‘Afternoon Delight.’ The Withers honor thy pop with “Christmas Delight.”

1978: Number 20 on Billboard’s Greatest Girl Groups Songs of all time, Sister Sledge takes ‘We Are Family’ to club levels. “We Got a Christmas Tree” by Santa’s Elves goes back to the musical roots.

2017: New contenders The Skorys take on mod pop tunes with Xmas twists. Love ’em, but they yet have room to grow. Portugal. The Man’s ‘Feel It Still’ charted strong and got swooped up for commercial and movie trailer backgrounds. Even better as the parody “Naughty List.”

2017: Selena Gomez’s ‘Wolves’ charted much better in Poland than here, but The Skorys have many funninesses with their parody “Christmas Time.”

1992: Better reviewed than bought, REM’s ‘Man on the Moon’ sparked the in-the-know party convo that alt snobs loved. The Withers get complicated with “Reindeer on the Moon.” C’mon, Rudolph.