Category Archives: a cappella

Dependent Claus: underloved

Maybe he’s too involved with work, supervising, listing, keeping his weight up… i suppose Santa might be neglectful of the husbandly duties a vibrant helpmate like Mrs. Claus ought to expect. Is it bad enough to sing about?

Tony Thaxton (feat Allison Weiss and Sara Watkins) gets sloppy with bluegrass begging in “Mr. and Mrs. Claus, Christmas Eve.” Nagging does not become you, madam.

“Ode to Mrs. Claus’s Joy” from Gregg Cagno is a chatty folk rock feature about the seduction of the fat man. She’s under a blanket under the tree. PG-13. Yeah, there’s some Beethoven mixed in there.

Stockings and Christmas heels are the allure from “Mrs. Claus Laments (Stay Home with Me).” This torchy R+B jazz from Lynzie Kent gets a bit sweaty.

The Bobs bring it home with “Mrs. Claus Wants Some Lovin’.” Shaggy baggy R+B a cappella that’ll land her on the naughty list.

EX-Mas, reasons to get out

Christmas is a time for love, forgiveness, togetherness.

But let’s get real before the New Year hits us all the harder.

Joshua Gilyard leads the all-girl choir (Queen of Ratchet) to lecture your smitten face with “Your Man is a Bum.” (‘Drummer Boy’ parody, yeah.) Eyes open, ladies.

TreeMendous Holiday Fun: Coloring Outside the Pines

Anyone can string the bulbs ’round the needles. It takes an outlier to really decorate with chromatic panache. Light ‘er up, Jetson!

Putting incandescence on the holiday plumage may take on other meanings. “Lit up Like a Christmas Tree” from Flaming Stars isn’t about drinking, but about drinking you in with my eyes, love.

When The Smoking Trees invite you to melt your mind, it’s with tambourines and filters and sound effects from town and distortion. “The Psychedelic Lights of Christmas” result. Ingest responsibly.

Other moods include BLUE. “Blue Light Christmas Tree” isn’t about the decorations after all. Jim Rorie gets bluesy about her leaving him. The tree just is there, brightly mocking him.

And what if they’re dark… or “Blinking Lights“? Brian Kinder goes music hall funny with this.

On the other branch, you can overload that unsuspecting pine into a “Fifty Kilowatt Tree” as Caribbean a cappella-ed by The Bobs. Blew the ‘burbs out. Purdue Musical Organization performs:

Snow Way: firsties

All of our anticipation for Winter’s secondary characteristics leads us to the deep seated joy over that first fall.

Hal Leonard Choral supplies secondary schools with arrangements for those tricky pubescent voices. But “The First Snow” is as winsome and awesome as you might expect.

Shawnee Press competes with a similar “The First Snowfall.” This is in the dog-wince range, however.

From some children’s book The First Snow of Winter comes this song by Pat Tracy with Gaelic fiddle and range. It’s heroic and stuff.

And now for something completely old: William Huckaby has revived 19th C songs to sinister effect as with John B Tabb’s “The First Snowfall.” Lord help us.

Gotta feed the a cappella jones while we’re here too. Moodswing swings and sways with “First Snowfall” creating a roller coaster of thumpy jazz.

Parodies’ Paradise: 1972 “Walk on the Wild Side”

Lou Reed’s journey of seediness peaked at #16 on the Billboard Hot 100 singles charts… in the United States, RCA released the single using an edited version of the song without the reference to oral sex… in the UK, the reference slipped past the censors, who were apparently unfamiliar with the term ‘giving head’… the term ‘colored girls’ was also an issue in the US and RCA provided radio stations with a version in which it was edited out.

The Blenders get pretty damn funny with their “Sleigh Ride.” And a cappella, too. Damn.

Drink N.B. Merry: nog5

A few songs have raised the roof in correlation with raising the blood alcohol index. Eggnog is not required to be hard, but many enjoy it that way.

If it’s a surprise, then someone SPIKED that drink. Who would do that?

Vaudeville Etiquette parties with country rock (and yodeling), but when that’s not enough “Let’s Spike the Eggnog.” Smells like the 1980s.

Jason O’Brien also recalls old country with “Santa’s Spiked Eggnog.” It’s a saga of elvish betrayal, drunk sleighing, and injustice.

Lil Poverty Angels plays Santa as a playa making the BillCosby move with “Santa Spiked the Eggnog.” It’s rap with a suspiciously ’90s fun backbeat.

Accidental Airplay also rap out “Who Spiked the Eggnog?” These kids are a 9.5 on the wild-o-meter to begin with, but with the addition of alkey-hall—oh my. Some nice solos (they also take turns adding to the punchbowl too–gum!?) makes this a party song. And a half.

The real (white) deal on sneaking in daddy-juice belongs to Straight No Chaser. They make a Scooby Doo case out of the crime in the big band style a cappella “Who Spiked the Eggnog?” It was me.

Consume-mas Quantities: casserole chorale

What to make for Xmas? Throw it all in a 9 x 12 and call it good.

“Aunt Clara’s Christmas Casserole” by ‘Clara’s Kinfolk’ (Probably Jack Servello) warns family of the dreaded elderly traditional potluck. Careful with that hee haw humor, it’ll grow an ad-lib on your reunion the size of a confabulation.

The Christmas Chids work up a sweat with their “Casserole of the Bells.” It sure is pretty. Lean in if you want to feel the full flavor. That cathedral sized echo may make you miss some.

Xmas Dance Party: can-can

That French one-step, the cancan, is antique but iconic. And not just for the ladies to perform, but, yeah, a spectator sport.

To the Offenbach, Straight No Chaser’s a cappella “Christmas Can-Can” made them famous and gave them a record deal while in college. It’s worth hearing every year. (Sorry if it’s becoming mainstream.)

Santa Jobs: clones

You knew!

Santa’s secondary job, like Dr. Who’s, is to fold space-time so he can be everywhere at the same moment. He seems to be multiple copies of himself–but that’s our limited perception forcing our paradigm on his magic.

I’m glad you knew.

The Peter Pan Carolers explain their shock that there are “Ten Thousand Santa Clauses,” but never fear–they’ll blink them away.

When Gayla Peevey wasn’t shilling for hippopotami, she was counting “77 Santa Clauses.” Kids think they’re so smart.

The more adult perspective comes from Bob Rivers who, natch, turns ‘Here Comes’ to “There’s Another Santa Claus.” Yes, very clever. But you seem to be racist, Bob.

The appropriate response to “Too Many Santas” is awe and stupefaction. Although The Bobs collapse into cynicism, they do it with love. Rock steady.g00384

Santa Jobs: super duper

Regardless of deification/defication, Santa does what no one else can. He’s super (thanks for asking).

Rod Stewart makes that case with his “Red Suited Superman.” It’s jazzy and middle of the road and oldsters everywhere will love the song.

Slightly more impressed with their own guitaring, The Fleshtones mention “Super Rock Santa” as just another way to name ol’ Kris.

Noodlin’ the poodle, Stephen Colbert reveals Santa’s secret identity with “Jingle Man and Christmas Boy” as they fight crime around the tai-state area. Funny, but don’t tell.

A real serial adventure of super Santa is a cappella brought to you by The Bobs (keep in mind all their accompaniment is vocalized). “Yuleman Vs. the Anti-Claus” is something i wish i’d written. It’s a bit musical theater-ish and brash, but ends on a cliffhanger… (tune in next year)!

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