Category Archives: Music Genres

Jingle Bells typo

If i say Jungle Bells you don’t say -wha? You say -oh, a Jingle Bells takeoff. How many musicians pursue this wordplay you ask?

The Superions conga out in “Christmas Conga (Jungle Bells)” about the Santa shenanigans you usually see in The National Enquirer. Not so much with the jingling, however.

Tubba3ply mash up the ska and the electronic for a mystical night of “Jungle Bells.” It’s downright pagan-tastic.

Succumbing to the primitivism of modern-madness, GattuZan also UK-punks up the pop a bit with another “Jungle Bells.” But there’s no escape from the fa-la-la refrain.

Full reggae mad, Skindred rocks out “Jungle Bells” with a master backbeat. YEAHH!!

South African Blues Broers have more literal claim to their “Jungle Bells,” a litany of the animals (not exactly) adapting to the holiday spirit. A little rockabilly, a little folk-pop. Just a little.

Vincent Cardinale just goes hokey folk with his kidding “Jungle Bells.” Plenty to grunt along with here. And a lesson.

Best up is the repeated entry “Jungle Bells (Dingo-Dongo-Day)” by Les Paul and Mary Ford. Catchy as malaria! Thanks, 1953!

Jingle Bell breakdown

The ‘Jingle Bells’ juggernaut has bestowed upon us an industry of songs that aren’t the standard. And you can’t have an engaging story without some conflict. So let’s look at the broken bells a bit. Cry amongst yourselves.

“Ding-a-Ling the Christmas Bell” fell and broke his harmony, according to Lynn Anderson. 1971 was full of such ugly duckling lessons: don’t judge his horrid noise! He saves Santa!!

“The Bell that Couldn’t Jingle” was a 1962 number from Paul Evans, penned by Burt Bacharach. This time the handicapped kid gets a magic fix. And probably got an office job with people who invited him to their backyard bar-be-cues. Bobby Vinton tried this in 1964 with more talent (the same year The Baby Dolls swaddled it in bubble gum), Bobby Helms takes it down to country moroseness in ’65, then the Burt Bacharach Singers make a mess of it in 1968 (the same year Herb Alpert’s players enfolds it into cartoon fun)… hoo-boy let’s leave it at that.

Okay, okay ONE more. (It’s who i am.) The diva-like devotion to the over-orchestrated overly serious Catherine McKinnon version out-camps them all. Are you serious?! Just listen:

“Jingle (Bells)” …keep dancing (older now)

Add the word JINGLE to your number and Xmas hits the spot. Bells may be implied.

Andy Beck and Brian Fisher bring you another kids’ assembly pageant with “Jingle Bells Jukebox.” Jumping and shaking to follow.

“Jingle Down the Christmas Tree” is PJ Parker’s sultry euphemism for the best gift ever–the oldest form of dance there is.

Michael Hurtt & His Haunted Hearts cowboy up the slide guitar with “Jingle Bells Boogie,” a quite danceable honky tonk wonder. Asleep at the Wheel don’t quite bring it to their tired version.

Almost a word-for-word rendition, Wayne Newton manages to demolish the family joy of this traditional song with his smarmy lounge version “Jingle Bell Hustle.” Only one word has been added to the original. Can you spot it? Should you?

“Jingle (Bells)” …now dance

The traditional carol ‘Jingle Bells’ is its own holiday. People celebrate the song by rocking and dancing and partying in their own denominational deviations after just a whiff of its wildness. Be advised, bells matter less than booty here.

“Jingle Dance” from Rembunction features choice shaking of body parts to an infectious parang riddim.

1961 is where you want your wayback machine to show your moves. That’s when Chuck Blevins lays down “Sleigh Bell Rock.” Straight from the fridge, dad. The modern rockabilly of Three Aces and a Joker also allow for the picking them up and putting them down.

1960 may be too far gone for this kid. “Xmas Bell Rock” from Barry and the Highlights doowops up a storm. But my pedal extremities ain’t shindiggin’.

Everything old is new again. Classic rock sounds from Dude York make a pogo out of “Jingle Bell Rock,” not the song you were expecting. But you can still cut a rug to it.

“Jingle Bells”

Enough with the not enough!!

Let’s move on to the spirit of Xmas, the trappings, the deets, the minutiae…how ’bout them BELLS? Poe‘ll tell you, bells can be used to connote many celebrations–but I’m hard pressed (unh) to attach these tinklers to Halloween or the Fourth of July or Earth Day. Ringing means 12/25, y’all.

The icon in the room is ‘Jingle Bells,’ the 1850-something small-ranging number by James Lord Pierpont. The controversy surrounding this earworm could fill a whole month of blogging, so let’s just say NOW it’s a family tradition for more than the racists among us.

If you need to hear this every December, bully for you. It tasks me, so i will not share the best, coolest, weirdest versions of this song i can find (maybe some other month when i’m out of ideas)–not the instrumentals, nor even the foreign translations.

Today, let’s try out some reimaginings using a bit of a different melody. That’s fun. (It’s the same lyrics, mostly here.)

Even John Denver has a bit of tinkly new age fun with this old horse.

What about James Taylor putting his downbeat syncopation trademark on it?

PDX’s own Jesus Presley throws a low curveball of lounge garage when you least expect it.

Over the Rhine sneaks up on you as well with “One Olive Jingle,” a bluesy, jazzy, word poem.

Going girl ASMR Lisa Loeb slows down the ride to a stuck in the snow slog.

Walking away with recognizability, Fats Waller jellyrolls the ragtime out of “Swinin’ Them Jingle Bells.” You won’t know you’re in a one-horse open sleigh for a minute. Ride with it. It’s mostly instrumental.

ël-No, the thirtieth

No Christmas. I mean, none. You going to cry? Or, perhaps, will you join hands Whoville-style and sing about how you still got it. That calendar number don’t matter!

A brief bon voyage then from Jebb & The Riots who warble about “The Day Christmas was Cancelled” without a commercial jingle care in the world. Here’s the thing about Xmas: IT! WILL! BE!

ël-No, the twenty-ninth

Christmas isn’t happening because I died, okay?! No Xmas for the ex-person.

Aged big band aficionado Jerry Drake brazens his way through the MIA tragedy “The Boy Who Missed Christmas.” No, it’s not a Christmas song at all. It’s barely a song.

Alto soaring, Nick Dache doesn’t have much to say after a near-death experience, except for apologizing for the “Empty Christmas.” Too much acceptance, not enough denial, dude. Light alt fun, tho.

ël-No, the twenty-eighth

Credit where credit is overdue. We all enjoy Christmas because of–? Well, JC may have rebranded an ongoing festival… Santa only came into the equation late… Hmm.

“If It Weren’t for Girls, There Would be No Christmas” croons The Want to a peppy rock backbeat. Sure, it tries a bit too hard and as such overcompensates with stereotypes and some back-handed flattery. But who else is taking the time to appreciate, i ask you?

ël-No, the twenty-seventh (Blue Alert)

No Christmas without you is a common love-song cry, but the pissed off holler of the broken up is the anti-carol. Xmas smashed!

The blues will do that, wallow in what messes up all that’s good in life… but what about some cool Doo Wop to bring the blues into view. Woo hoo hoo from Larry Chance and The Earls in “No Christmas Cheer.” So there.

Giles Field hates everything after you ripped out his heart, so “No Christmas” (Blue Alert) with a garage lilt to the alt. Skipping to the loo.

ël-No, the twenty-sixth

Stretching out of pop music smarm, alternative music also dwells in the wallows of emotionality. The lovelorn cancellation of Christmas is ripe for writing in this universe.

“Empty Christmas” is the alt cry of The Wheels. Waffling between with you and without you this tinkly charmer sets you at arm’s length.

El Dorado croons to warbly synth in “No Christmas This Year,” a pop song in everything but word choice. Just a bit off kilter for the commoners. (So, yeah, i like it.)

Hyper garage from Brandon Harrod plays out the broken relationship as psychological number-line with “Christmas is Cancelled.” Well, you tell me, then.

Pop-punk from Bankrupt is heightened by the grindhouse footage backing “Christmas is Cancelled.” Leaving me is like a tree murdering. Or zombies. (Blue Alert)

Driving Brit-pop is as far from mod-pop as The Monkees, ‘tho The Long Blondes remind me a bit more of Blondie with their “Christmas is Cancelled.” That bangin’ guitar is the heartbeat of heartbreak.