Big Shaq tortures some rhymes with a Caribbean twist in “Daily Duppy.” This Christmas party veers all over from getting back a Santa cussing out his mom, to spilled drinks, to Fly your girl like Concorde
143 on the dashboard. Uh oh.
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Christmas Countdown: 150
Now for something a little bit different. Charlie Stout hammers out a hardcore juke-joint ballad to “The Last Rattlesnake in All of West Texas.” This country corrida spledorizes a bad mama-jama what pokes his head out of his hole on a Christmas morning (115 degrees), feels his oats (no F-150s in sight), and takes a bite of a passing tornado. Tune in to find out what happens next….
Christmas Countdown: 151
Bob Rivers satirizes the David Bowie/Bing Crosby harmony on ‘Little Drummer Boy’ with “Rummy Rocker Boy.” Here a (perhaps dead) Bing teams up with a metal-rocker (Roach from the band Vomit) to drink and sing and drink. The banter includes: Now be careful son that is 151, so we know it’s the real Bacardi.
Christmas Countdown: 163
Not to shy away from the super-odd, “Rap, Clap, Slap” is the electronically distorted not quite fluent in English slightly Christmas themed rando-rap from Lars Epsensen, ending with the dutiful that was 163 words.
Christmas Countdown: 173
The Stupendium is back with “A Very Scary Christmas,” another minor key holiday visit with horror monsters from pop culture–including SCP-173, the concrete killer from the ‘SCP-Containment Breach’ video game. This guy has got some musical chops, so elevate expectations and try this.
Christmas Countdown: 179
Canadian cartoonist Joren Cull outcounted us all with the nine hour jamboree “The 179 Days of Christmas.” I am not kidding. Hats (which is number 133) off to him. I dare you! [If you do have a life, however, the below link will get you the less-than-a-minute sample.] Lyrics are available, but lotta this stuff is Canadian, so… huh?
Christmas Countdown: 187 BLUE ALERT
G-Mo Skee pulls a 187 on your misconceptions, that is “Filthmas Origins (The Prequel)” murders the ordinary view of our Christian observance. This rap on the hella-pagan satan-worshippin’ heathen holiday pulls no punches. I mean, BLUE ALERT, a’ight. Look out. There’s history.
Christmas Countdown: 200 BLUE ALERT
Still into the triple digits, but now we’re at the line between heavyweight and the lower weights. The first unprimable number. The big two-double-oh.
Easy folk-alts “Christmas Memories” about watching ‘Home Alone’ 200 times and liking the photo albums better with rum. But when she comes hither with maybe tonight We can make another Christmas memory, the song gains traction and violins and tubular bells. Childlike wonder sits well on this giggly grownup.
I just spent 200 on my friend’s list, regrets Shayla Hamady in “I’m Broke But Happy Holidays.” This alt-lounge serenade is a cool goof on celebrating, but the pissiness lingers like unwashed socks.
The duo Schmab brings it home with the colliding culture shock of “Fuck Yeah Christmas,” a gospel rant of dysfunctional proportions. Finally a song to fully reference a Red Ryder carbide action 200-shot range model air rifle and the Roker polar vortex. Ah, men.
Christmas Countdown: 2:14
Perhaps as a palate cleanser, The Worship Together Kids perform “Luke 2:14” as ‘The Promise of Christmas.’ This sprightly pop is uplifting, but no mere gospel praise. It’s a catchy tune!
Christmas Countdown: 216 BLUE ALERT
Pineapple Posse wants to celebrate the holidays, but–clinging to street red–swear they won’t take “No L“–not from nobody. Lazy sex references and casual violence attribution frame: I’m back on the mic 216 Up in the heights, yeah the Posse down to fight. That’s likely a reference to the area code for E. Cleveland’s Shaker Heights. Must be some down-and-dirty there to warrant this rudderless rap.