Christmas Countdown: 85

Isn’t 85 warm enough for equatorial Xmas? “Santa’s Going South for Christmas” sings Sammy Hagar with appropriate American rock about leaving the freeze and going to Mexico where the temp is mid-eighties.

Joey + Rory get more country rock with “Let It Snow (Somewhere Else).” Somewhere in the islands, it’s more’n warm.

A form of reggae rap livens Social Club Misfits’ “Christmas in Florida.” How you gon drive in the snow Wait …it’s Florida girl it’s 85 degrees.

Arthur Ray gets all slo-mo with his rapping “Christmas in Houston.” Whole lot more descriptive, too: Carolers on Texas Ave sangin’ “White Christmas” 85 degrees, hoes is sweet tea sipping G’s in they slabs got they 4-4s tippin’ Grippin’ wood grain with the candy paint drippin’. Uh, Blue-ish Alert.

The Dan Band notes no snow ’cause it’s 85 degrees (when it drops down to 70 people think they’re gonna freeze). “Christmas Time in California” is like that. Ironic boy band silliness.

Whew, let’s cool it down with ADHD (Animation Domination High Definition). Heather Anne Campbell’s Scientifically Accurate series takes on “Santa Claus” with a whole pile of numbers (speed of Santa, size of craters where he lands), but ends with 85%–the measure of countries WITHOUT child labor laws (who make the toys, not the elves). To the tune of ‘Coming to Town’ get ready to be offended, grossed out, and (perhaps) educated.