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Monthly Archives: March 2022

Christmas Countdown: 400

Dylan Daley is not too good at make-up songs as proved by his “Merry,” a sad sack passive aggressive why-can’t-we-get-together-now-that-I’m-back-in-town-for-Christmas-instead-of-400-miles-away emo-boy pop ode. Whiney to the max.

Christmas Countdown: 401

Highway 401 will take you from Detroit through Ontario to Montreal (where it becomes the A-20). Kaleb Hikele will take this route to come home, and though he was hoping “To Buy You Gold” for Christmas, he now wishes you’d wait for his broke-ass butt to just show up. Garage desperation.

Time to think about the future… the 401K plan. (Which is not a thing so much as it was twenty years ago. What’s the future coming to?)

Fast Eddie’s Bowling Academy (feat. Dave Gomez) has a thing or two to say about consumerism in “Slay Bells.” Santa, being the mad capitalist symbol, is the salesman 401k stocks are enriching him. Boo! Right?

Lamonta gets stuck at a terrible holiday bash with small talk (and offensive subjects) that drive them outside. Rock out to “All I Got for Christmas was Stoned.” (They slip NEED for got in there a couple times, you get the idea.)

Christmas Countdown: 404

Now we’re (trying to) getting somewhere! Southbank Crows are Hitchhiking down the 404–It’s Christmas Eve again Trying to get home to see My darling baby. Going home in this American rock anthem is emotional and repetitive. 404 is Georgetown to Wye Mills–crossing Delaware’s flap to get across to the mainland/D.C. Looks like a slog. She must be worth it or they wouldn’t be singing “Another Xmas Song.”

Christmas Countdown: 405

Joee Corso relates “The Night I Followed Santa” in a Coupe de Ville Rolling down the 405 to Vegas. This dirty blues country grinder gives us no other hints (the 405 is San Bernardino south to Irvine, a bypass off I-5 west of LA’s center), but lays on the dream imagery of adult Christmas. Best to join in your dreams.

Christmas countdown: 416

Christmas lights hang over the hollow world of Clementoon. But it’s no-place no-time, just an in-between seeing you and leaving you (at 4:16). All that’s left in this haunting non-genre indie is the “Coat.” It’s all she has left of you. It’s not enough.

Christmas Countdown: 417

It’s a “Lonely Winter” for the ‘experimental’ singer Zarik Yusaf. He’s 417 miles away from his significant other who’s off to see family. But this discordant indie is more painful than sad. Ah, the holidays–

Christmas Countdown: 420

Channel 420 mumbles and fumbles through his almost imperceptible rock song “Christmas 420.” Nothing too counter culture here, just wondering if he’ll get the nerve to talk to her.

Christmas Countdown: 430

“Wish List” by Big Burd (feat. Anastasia Pshokina) is a straight out rap love song without the putdowns and crudities. Romcom fun, where he gets up as early as kid-possible (4:30) to find that particular cute girl under the tree. Swings like R+B.

Christmas Countdown: 489

A masterful mix, “ReDoin” conjures the H.H. Gregg company’s mad sales tactics into a hypnotic electronic rhythm. JerryTerry may not have come to bury the Chpter 11 (now online) tech store, but to praise it–the beat is so good. BTdubs, the 489 is the highest priced item, the LG 42-inch HDTV. At these prices why buy the warranty–you can buy another in two years!

Christmas Countdown: 500$

Perhaps in a drug trip, Merry Christmas wails Don’t hold onto me, I am an aeronaut Merry Christmas Emily Flying Battle Lulls 500! “For the Lulls” is a folk storm of a mess and i love it.

Even more hallucinatory, “It Feels Like the Christmas 500” is experimental DJ mixing from tomoe. Was that a Muppets song?

Emil Beckford is wondering how I’m gonna find 500 bucks to pay for you a surprise in his R+B charmer “Focus on the Love (It’s Christmas).” So he won’t have to, or get socks from you, he’s going to retread the reason for the season and make it about the feels. Kisses not lists. You good?

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