Wait for the Sellout

Some musical genres lack authenticity when they are merried up too much for more family-friendly sales of holiday songs.

Country music has done nothing but run away from the hills and stalked the pick-up driving suburban teen since 1967. Selling out is ka-ching for country. So no surprise that Aaron Kelly soars to vocal heights with “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” The identification of this song as country is circumstantial at best.

Punk, however, should rage ‘against the machine. So Robert Neary’s repetitive “I Can’t Wait ’til Christmas Day” is particularly mind boggling. Pop punk may be a thing, but this is bubblegum punk.

Royalty Free Music is this thing you can sample for your videos or parties, and it is just a sound curtain not meant to be heard. So when i turn up DJ Quads’s “Waiting for Christmas” i feel a bad trip coming on. R+B stumbles.

Rock’n’roll is steamrolled by cover bands, upandcomers, and even the downandouters. Dadband The Animal Band valiantly attempt the cool rock kid song, but “I Can’t Wait Anymore” comes off as too carefully constructed to wail.

In the same vein Lovetrain rocks slightly harder (for the kids) “I Can’t Wait ’til Christmas.” The cutesy factor may help parents feed this to their offspring, but it murders the spirit of the music.

Even the over-achieving showtune is undone by the misguided gushing of the amateurish. “I Can’t Wait ’til Christmas” is Sherry Allen’s play for posterity. The modulations do more harm than good. Get this unplugged and a cappella and ill revisit my judgment.