Wait for a Near Bummer

Class up the kidsong, zip up the talent and tempo, and we have less than a mess and more of a cynical manipulation. I can’t help how i can’t stomach Raffi and his ilk.

Some imagination over food and Santa interaction boosts “Can’t Wait for Christmas Morning” by Johanna Lewis. But the sweetly humble kid intonations make me pick this as a song for the retirement home, rather than the romper room.

The Texas twang of Rosie Flores imbues corrido-stylings to “Watchoo Waitin’ for Christmas?” lofting it to higher musical levels. ‘Cause then there’s food again. And then there’s accordion, and honkytonk piano. Finally the stilted beat seems almost reprimanding. Can’t recommend this to anyone under 55.

The message in “I Can’t Wait!” by Patch the Pirate is unbearable anticipation for Grandma to open the special present from ME, the kid. Showtune shenanigans that feels by-the-numbers for all its ingenuity.

Warmed over retro rock for the chilluns should set me back on my heels, but i’m only slightly offended by The Wiggles crooning “Just Can’t Wait for Christmas Day.” It stinks of dad-hobby, but the boys’ve got talent: C-.