Wait for Better

What winds my Christmas countdown clock? Feast your ears….

Kid song works remarkably well when a breathy jazz siren shimmies through suggestive song lyrics, case in point Helen Austin’s “Can’t Wait for Christmas Day.” Woo hoo hoo hoo.

Amateur basement tapes can attain greater altitudes with an overgenerous allotment of musical aptitude. Emma and Charlie’s Radio Podcast gorgeously poprock “Can’t Wait for Christmas Morning” with hand-popping, garage swinging playfulness.

Soul, backed up by the gospel-intended choir, moves a stubborn curmudgeon (as am i). So Jacksoul’s “Can’t Wait ’til Christmas” outstrips all imitators and delivers the mmm-soo good mood.

The nuance of a gentle rock romance reminds me how emotional the caring world can become. Summercamp’s wholesome, homely ballad “I Don’t Want to Wait ’til Christmas” to love you keeps hope alive.

Intentional pop doesn’t have to be repetitive pap, it can drop rhymes as clever as rap. Toby Mac (feat. Relient K) excites my tenterhooks with “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” As parts, not my bag; as a whole, holy cow. I’m gonna listen to it again.

Wait for the Show

Christmas is a big deal, a big show. Let’s bounce in our seats in the audience waiting for curtain time.

We’ve celebrated the Teresa Brewer big band version, now let’s try “I Just Can’t Wait ’til Christmas” as a torch song with back room bluesiness. That’s a better cover, mother. Madison O’Neill for the win.

But, I do admire a jazz tempo big band serenade. See what Jenny Daniel’s (cover again) of “We Can’t Wait.” I shiver so much i hear the tinkling of a two drink minimum.

Legit overorchestration arrives via The Kindie Songwriting Club (In the Nick of Time) and their slow building “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” This erstwhile kid song elevates the genre to showstopper.

Wait for Good

Allow me to uncork the good stuff, songs i’m pretty fond of concerning the wait on Christmas. These first few might go by fast, like sour sweets. Gulp when ready.

Parodying a proper punk anthem (like there ever was such a thing) Two Inch Winky start the party with “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Pump up the volume and open the door. They’ll do the rest.

Perhaps starting out as a kid song that hit folk, turned at garage, then hyperred up some soul, “Waiting for Christmas Day” by Big Little Lions plays to many audiences authentically. Talent’ll do that.

Goofy garage from The Morning Glass (as The Christmas Friends) warms up the ice. “Can’t Wait for Christmas” pops and spits (Santa doesn’t love me the way my parents do–) with lots of lala lalalas for everyone to enjoy. (Punk parody outro totally optional.)

Can’t Wait for Christmas” is off in just the right ways for a punk promise of merriment & joy. Music Infection riffs and roughs up the fun, adding a pleasant melody just for a larf.

Wait for the Squeal

Getting hypoxic with suspense can lead to high pitched keening, which, any other time of the year is annoying but just before Xmas, is parentally preferred. Go figure. Squeak it up, singers!

Light and airy kid frolicsome, Doug & Deb rock the uke for “I Just Can’t Wait ’til Christmas.” It’s nearly ragtime in its earnest energy.

Perky a bit more than the music allows, “I Can Hardly Wait for Christmas” is Michael Gurley’s entry in the sing-along easy rock family time glee.

Dean Kelly switches up the Britpop to punk pogo with “Can’t Wait Until Christmas.” Catchy as Covid, innit?

Kenn Rowell & The Baghdaddies up the folk rock with shouted singing about the good old times in “I Can Hardly Wait ’til Christmas.” Not earbusting, but leaping and goofing like it’s okay.

Waiting for Weird

It doesn’t feel like any other time of anticipation: not for taking your MCATs, not for getting pulled over, not for losing your virginity… waiting for Xmas is a uniquely great expectation. So let’s explore the underrepresented in music.

A Christmas musical so odd MST3K spoofed it, ‘Christmas That Almost Wasn’t’ ends with the song “Nothing to Do But Wait,” wherein shopkeeper Sam (Paul Tripp) with Santa hold their breaths hoping the children will save the holiday. Showtune anger. I guess. YOU describe it then.

Hard banging garage whispering “Can’t Hardly Wait” weirds me out. Soft or hard? Good or bad? BIG HIT, help me understand.

Proper sitar psychedlia from Dimentia 13 melts your apprehension into a world without time. “Christmas Comes to Those Who Wait” must be consumed in a neutral-colored place of comfort with friends near by.

Late addition recommended from Pete the Elf: the 1958 kookiest entry from Tommy Christy “All are Waiting for Christmas.” The skinny and fat ones. too. AKA ‘The Christmas “Name” Song,’ ‘cuz he calls the kids names… For kidsong that’s really yikes!

Electronic psychedelia volleys the oddity into your court. Brad & Barry make “I Can’t Wait for Christmas Time” feel like i can’t wait for the ketamine to kick in. Whoa.

Wait for the Round-Up

Save me a corner by the Okay Chorale, i shine towards an authetic country melody. Make it Christmassy, feature the anticipation, and serve it up chunky and charred. Yummy-haw!

Them snow swept lonesome plains’ll make you pine for the clapboards of the old homestead, so sing Wild Bill featuring the Whiskey Shivers with “I Can’t Wait to Go Home for Christmas Again.” Yeah, it’s maudlin, but in a tight-lipped cowboy way. There’s no crying in cow-pokin’.

Driving folk may put me in mind of one-horse towns that’ll blow away in the breeze. Try LuLu’s “Can’t Wait for Christmas” to see how i’m persuaded.

Even pop, with the right cantering tempo, can put me in a mind of riding the range. Saddle up with Candy Apple Blue (feat. Nick Bramlett) and their not-quite-ironic “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Oh to be a child again, when a six-shooter had heroic glory–not political and social qualification.

You want the REAL cowboy song, like from Bonanaza? then try The Caroleer Singers from the old Peter Pan Records days and “Wait for the Wagon on Christmas Day.” This is as authentic as corduroy rawhide. But childish fun.

Perhaps too morose, Ben Aaron drawls “I Can’t Wait for Christmas” like he wouldn’t tolerate none of you-all’s foolishness no how. The hypnotic cadences, however, make my toes tap. It’s like candied chaw.

Wait for the Lounge

What are you waiting for? Party like it’s Christmas! That is–in the manner most consistent with your observation. Oh, just so? The lounge it is….

Can’t Wait!” is the jazz diva turn of white girl Esmee Denters. But the twirly shrill twists on her endnotes belie her down-ness. Piano bar mellow times.

Mindi Abair wootchi-cooes the jazz experience with “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Sure a whisper in my ear perks up my Xmas spirit, but where’s all the other partygoers?

There they are! Teresa Brewer fronts The Les Brown Band with the sparkly jazz band “I Just Can’t Wait for Christmas.” This is the shape of kidsong of yore, younglers. Corny, but cool.

Amateur piano bar bounciness gives Charles Szabo to sing out of both sides of his mouth. “I Can’t Wait for Christmas” is also kid-centric, with an oldster bent. But it means so well, it borders on kicky.

On the mainstage of the Yuletide Room, the showstopping ragtime barn burner is “I Can’t Wait to Fly on Christmas Eve” by John Gannon. Rockin’, in a retired guy kind of way. Yet, it warms me like chicken soup.

Wait for the Cool

I’m susceptible to cool jazz, R+B soul–the sort of aww shucks that Black culture can inject into a silly season. As an outsider, natch, but an outside avid listener. Can you hear what i hear?

J Fresh gets the electric worm out of his synthy sexiness. “Can’t Wait Until Christmas” is a mess of R+B playfulness, but from a lounging posture.

Also synthesizing the bejeepers out of R+B, Desmond Dennis dance-conjures the scene with “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Seductive, and party friendly.

RuPaul interrupts the mellow with a gospel-soul take down of traditional values. “I Just Can’t Wait (‘Til Christmas)” is a sing-along about how Xmas makes us all one (just not the one you expected). Yowza.

Electro-pop crowds the soul of Honey Doll’s “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Hokey smoke, that’s cute. The girls’re after you, Santa. Hee hee.

Aloe Blacc’s fulla funk with his near-disco “I Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Furzz up those speakers! Let the beat drop! ‘Sime talkin’ ’bout.

Wait for Love’s Chance

Waiting for Xmas means time off, overeating, gifts… and having an excuse to see that one you’ve been missing all your life. Get the Hallmark outta here, musicians!

James Collins plays in low key rock ‘n’ roll with his folksy “I Just Can’t Wait ’til Christmas Time.” He’s cool, ladies, ’cause he’s found a reason for the seizin’.

Pop R+B overplays the love story Sheléa woo-oohs about missing you while she “Don’t Wanna Wait ’til Christmas.” ‘Nuff said.

Stretching the limits of easy listening, soul lisping Mario J Brown sexies up the possibilities of what he “Can’t Wait for Christmas” for. Here he comes serenading with sultry snares of sensuality. You better watch out.

Empty pop spouts whole out of Erick Nathan (ooh, then there’s scatting doowop! And dance moves!) in “Can’t Wait for Christmas.” Bouncy, but i’m not exactly won over.

The woman-rock of Denae Joy is assured and folk strong. “I Just Don’t Think that I can (Wait for Christmas)” is bluegrass country with vocals ranging into a yodel. That’s good enough for me, i’m in love.

Wait for Fun

When is Christmas music fun? Like a new boyfriend, when it’s about something! Songs that just want you to like them so they do everything they’re supposed to are predictable, calculating monsters! What did i ever see in you?! Boo hoohoo.

Olivier Deparis may think he’s in a Disney movie, but the banging of kitchen utensils for a timpani about Mom and Dad cooking makes “Can’t Wait for Christmas” a surprise rising slightly above common kidsong fodder. Bit o’ fun.

When an Australian album proclaims itself as Dance Around the Lounge Room, i give pause. Mick McIvor starts with Jesus as Elvis then tutors the tots in patience. “You Gotta Wait for Christmas” is unusually (and barely) fun.

A gay agenda is usually loud and proud, so “Just Can’t Wait for Christmas” by Sheena Rose is no drag, but fabulous pop. Perhaps a bit measured in tempo, still a solid 6 on the fun meter.

Waiting for Snow” is breathy folk from John McCutcheon. A welcome break from the same old entry into our category. Poetic, pretty, fun.