We know Santa’s sleigh has bells, ‘cuz it’s a sleigh. Guess who else’s sleigh has bells–everyones! Sing that to a pipe, city slicker!
The Cricketones are back from that album i grew up with playing “Ding-a-Ling Dong, the Sleigh Bell Song.” Which means you can sing-along all you want, ‘cuz that’s the whole set of lyrics pretty much. Kidsong gleefulness.
Some kids’ toon showcased some dumb plodding tune perhaps called “Snowflakes Fall, Sleigh Bells Ring.” We’ll get into it later, but this laundry list of Xmas details does not a carol create, gang.
Here’s one you might know: Gene Autry intros and burbles through “Sleigh Bells.” It’s so happy and all that it feels like you’ve been eating too much sugar.
I guess a little ring-dingy is just what the comical ordered when it comes to trolling the tropes of Christmas. Santa + Bells = mad libs funny. Here, here, i’ll show you:
I remember an ancient comedy bit with Paul Reubens as Pee Wee Herman on David Letterman’s The Late Show. He shook a coffee can full or rocks (or summat) and chanted the acerbic host’s name again and again with every rattle. That constant noise brings madness. So with Santa having to listen to that gay get-out-of-the-way chiming of the bells from his sleigh all night.
Be Your Own Boss Entertainment irks out some rapping with “You Hear Them Bells Go.” Santa’s not so happy now.
The Soundtrack of Our Lives retros a blazing ’60 Invasion beat with “Jingle Hell (Stuck in a Chimney).” I’m not following the lyrics all that much, but i gotta share this monster mash.
Sleigh bells mean Christmas most exactly when they are attached to Santa’s ride. Say, now that you contention that… can’t say as i recall those pimp nodules extending from Big Red’s vehicular contraption. I mean, i can hear that sound–but, is it magic or music?
The Kelly Girls swing the answer with “Jingle Jingle, Mr. Kringle.” Enter Santa, cue the bells. And dance!
Surely you recall “Jingle Jingle Jingle” from the 1964 Bass Rankin stop motion ‘Rudolph’. Stan Francis sings as Santa in a show tune way that has imprinted on many a child.
Most spell-binding is the gentle country folk of Isaac Stancill’s “Jingle Jingle Twinkle Twinkle.” Both a lullaby and a horrorshow, this midnight encounter with Master Claus will leave a lasting impression–or will it?
I won’t admit to getting my party pants on when i hear ‘Jingle Bells,’ but i guess it oughter be included with any but the most cynical Christmas bash (and i would accept an invitation to that). So let’s explore the connection of jingling with jubilating:
Stephen Colbert clashes his “Jingle Jingle Santa Party” with Run the Jewels pointing out that an urban man today gots more to worry about than silly fun.
Private Eye Music swings the instructions in “Jingle Jangle Mingle,” the short list of how-to let the hair down and funkalize. Getting together has a nice ring to it….
If i say Jungle Bells you don’t say -wha? You say -oh, a Jingle Bells takeoff. How many musicians pursue this wordplay you ask?
The Superions conga out in “Christmas Conga (Jungle Bells)” about the Santa shenanigans you usually see in The National Enquirer. Not so much with the jingling, however.
Tubba3ply mash up the ska and the electronic for a mystical night of “Jungle Bells.” It’s downright pagan-tastic.
Succumbing to the primitivism of modern-madness, GattuZan also UK-punks up the pop a bit with another “Jungle Bells.” But there’s no escape from the fa-la-la refrain.
Full reggae mad, Skindred rocks out “Jungle Bells” with a master backbeat. YEAHH!!
South African Blues Broers have more literal claim to their “Jungle Bells,” a litany of the animals (not exactly) adapting to the holiday spirit. A little rockabilly, a little folk-pop. Just a little.
Vincent Cardinale just goes hokey folk with his kidding “Jungle Bells.” Plenty to grunt along with here. And a lesson.
Best up is the repeated entry “Jungle Bells (Dingo-Dongo-Day)” by Les Paul and Mary Ford. Catchy as malaria! Thanks, 1953!
The ‘Jingle Bells’ juggernaut has bestowed upon us an industry of songs that aren’t the standard. And you can’t have an engaging story without some conflict. So let’s look at the broken bells a bit. Cry amongst yourselves.
“Ding-a-Ling the Christmas Bell” fell and broke his harmony, according to Lynn Anderson. 1971 was full of such ugly duckling lessons: don’t judge his horrid noise! He saves Santa!!
“The Bell that Couldn’t Jingle” was a 1962 number from Paul Evans, penned by Burt Bacharach. This time the handicapped kid gets a magic fix. And probably got an office job with people who invited him to their backyard bar-be-cues. Bobby Vinton tried this in 1964 with more talent (the same year The Baby Dolls swaddled it in bubble gum), Bobby Helms takes it down to country moroseness in ’65, then the Burt Bacharach Singers make a mess of it in 1968 (the same year Herb Alpert’s players enfolds it into cartoon fun)… hoo-boy let’s leave it at that.
Okay, okay ONE more. (It’s who i am.) The diva-like devotion to the over-orchestrated overly serious Catherine McKinnon version out-camps them all. Are you serious?! Just listen:
Add the word JINGLE to your number and Xmas hits the spot. Bells may be implied.
Andy Beck and Brian Fisher bring you another kids’ assembly pageant with “Jingle Bells Jukebox.” Jumping and shaking to follow.
“Jingle Down the Christmas Tree” is PJ Parker’s sultry euphemism for the best gift ever–the oldest form of dance there is.
Michael Hurtt & His Haunted Hearts cowboy up the slide guitar with “Jingle Bells Boogie,” a quite danceable honky tonk wonder. Asleep at the Wheel don’t quite bring it to their tired version.
Almost a word-for-word rendition, Wayne Newton manages to demolish the family joy of this traditional song with his smarmy lounge version “Jingle Bell Hustle.” Only one word has been added to the original. Can you spot it? Should you?
The traditional carol ‘Jingle Bells’ is its own holiday. People celebrate the song by rocking and dancing and partying in their own denominational deviations after just a whiff of its wildness. Be advised, bells matter less than booty here.
“Jingle Dance” from Rembunction features choice shaking of body parts to an infectious parang riddim.
1961 is where you want your wayback machine to show your moves. That’s when Chuck Blevins lays down “Sleigh Bell Rock.” Straight from the fridge, dad. The modern rockabilly of Three Aces and a Joker also allow for the picking them up and putting them down.
1960 may be too far gone for this kid. “Xmas Bell Rock” from Barry and the Highlights doowops up a storm. But my pedal extremities ain’t shindiggin’.
Everything old is new again. Classic rock sounds from Dude York make a pogo out of “Jingle Bell Rock,” not the song you were expecting. But you can still cut a rug to it.
The elevation of ‘Jingle Bells’ as a holiday song (NO Christ, NO Santa, NO presents… howso?!) means that anyone who hears the melody knows the sentiment. A slight play on the words… and novelization is born.
Now, I’m not talkin’ re-topicalification. Sure there are songs ranging from petty peeves to current culture to the secrets of life that borrow this music and make merry. That’s a rabbit hole to step over for the time being. Here we celebrate the snow and the sleigh and just scat a bit, for color.
Yogi Yorgenson does this handily with the dumb-furriner approach of “Yingle Bells,” a 1949 big Christmas hit that you might know by heart. If not, reacquaint, please.
1959 sees The Three Stooges messing up the transpo with junk in their slow-tempo “Jingle Bells Drag.” Lots of bonks and a few slaps to go with the jingling.
Paul & Paula switch up the ride to surfboards for “Holiday Hootenanny,” a kissin’ cousin to the original, but worth the wipeout. Now it’s 1963.
Homer and Jethro, a few years later (1968), cash in on what we used to call ‘frontier humor’ (now it’s redneck) with their “Jingle Bells.” More de-romanticizing of the icy out-of-doors. And loads o’ larfs.
Little has been done along these lines since those good ol’ days, so let’s go out dada-style with James Rossi’s “Jingle Bawtiba.” The title will become meaningful while partaking of this tasty morsel. Diggety-ding.
