What aren’t you getting for Christmas, you miserable one? You aren’t getting shit. That sounds reasonable at first, until you real the emphatic purposes of the ain’t.
Way back when, we visited Red Peters mocking an old Walter Brennan masterpiece with “You Ain’t Getting Shit for Christmas.” It’s real purdy.
Bob Wire and Chip Whitson get more funky rock with their “You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit for Christmas.” It’s telling.
Stevie B. calls from ‘cross the Pond to alert the slackers “Well, You Won’t Get Jack Shit.” BLUE ALERT for a proper comeuppance.
Underage rap from Daddy Hustle BLUE ALERT whispers out “U Ain’t Getting Shit for Christmas.” Not sure he means it.
White girl R+B lounge rap from Emily Miller testifies “You Ain’t Gettin’ Shit (For Christmas).” Buy it yourself, loser.
Uncle Daddy & The Skeeters get folksy pop with “Santa Ain’t Bringing You Shit.” Some layers of judgment here. You can tell because of the harsh percussion.
Let’s cut the shit. Heywood Banks is a comic genius and he can sing about how you’re not getting shit without saying the naughty word and being naughty himself. “You Ain’t Getting Diddly Squat” is the novelty we didn’t know we wanted. And–Big Finish!