Jack Derringer prefers the hair metal for his “Parole for Christmas.” He means it, so he can get back to you, baby. Pucker up.
Back to country–swing this time, where Bob Rivers paints a picture with “I’m Dressing Up Like Santa Claus” when I get out on parole. Then it’ll be home sweet home. Parole = forgiveness, right? I mean it’s Christmas and all. (Cover by Fly Amero.)
“Break Momma Home for Christmas” depicts a breakout by Three Day Threshold & Summer Villains. Hard rockin’ bluegrass defends the poor old lady from deerslaughter. She was trying to feed the starving poor ones, not take out Santa’s team. Sorry!
Then i discovered this monster concept album Payday 2, A Merry Payday Christmas, the soundtrack to a videogame. Simon Viklund is the composer at Overkill/Starbreeze which developed ‘Payday 2.’ So he made this bad-ass musical about a caper and the resultant “Christmas in Prison.” Rock the prison blues, man.
When asking nicely doesn’t cut it any longer, it’s time to get litigious. Civil cases may not be criminal, but they’re still illegal and stuff. I guess.
Dr. Elmo claims “Grandpa’s Gonna Sue the Pants off Santa” for that whole reindeer/grandma kerfuffle. I thought it was granslaughter, but then TV shyster’s got their mitts on the elderly. Cornball country.
The ultimate lawsuit, according to Bill Engvall, uses truck-driving country rock to explicate how “I’m Getting Sued by Santa” for a dog mauling. You’d think ol’ Nick’d have better things to do.
You have a right to representation against Santa, or anyone else.
Lawrence Savell fronts The Law Tunes to wonderfully amusing effect over several holiday albums. Here’s a commercial sampling from Season’s Briefings. Pick it up for your legal eagle holiday needs for next year.
The long arm of johnny law is still reaching in late December. So don’t think you’ll be getting away scott free, you dick.
Taking the high horse, The Christmas Pranksters rewind us to 2009 with a ridiculous Christmas shopper thinking he can buy what he wants (Tickle Me Elmo) when no one else can. “Arrest That Ragin’ Gentleman” is caroldy that’s sing-song sweet, but past its sell-by date.
The usual suspects includes that old breakin’ and enterin’ bagman. Bob Gronowski’s “Santa Claus Got Busted” is a swingin jazz tribute to a misunderstanding of tears and cheer. (Quitcher drinkin’, Santa!)