Monthly Archives: October 2019

WAR! what it’s good for

In a more innocent time, we sang Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays in the same song. No one thought a thing about it. Let’s do that, hand in hand, you rascals.

Robert Earl Keen accentuates the absurdity of the trailer trash with trombone in the plodding “Happy Holidays Y’all.” This cut includes two takes (second on has slurring and cracking up). Oompah country.

N’Sync gets the corn roasting with “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.” This unfiltered fluff should have opposite sides settling out of court in a hurry. Perhaps Pentatonix is more your cup of Sanka. Pretend Motown for the preteen set.

Adam Hicks feat. Ryan Newman from the Disney show Zeke and Luther zoop up “Happy Universal Holidays” for one for all. ADHD pop.

Let’s settle the bill with invision haling us with “Happy Holidays,” a greeting for one and all. Or, an egregious alt assault on our sensibilities.

War: the final solution

The last word on The War on Christmas debate comes from Unsinn Quatsch. Don’t be too happy about anything and you won’t offend anyone (not even mimes nor alpacas). So don’t say Merry Christmas. Don’t say Happy Holidays. Instead restrict yourself to the cry “Apathetic Cryptic Epoch”! This helium-voiced pop jingler hits all the right notes by hitting all the wrong ones. (Although there is a cop-out ending.) Thanks, Jason Pitsch!

WAR? what?!

More meanings for War on Christmas inclue The Vietnam War. (Hang on, let me reread that.)

Dogless flashes back with “Nixon’s War on Chrimbus,” a psychedelic whirligig of tribute to the forgotten generation. What, me worship?

WAR! metaphor

War can mean so many things. And we’ve run out of left vs. right songs.

The Ohio City Singers have painted us a breakup of holiday proportions in their “War on Christmas.” Power ballad rock with a sloppy slice of soul that unseats Ares/Mars and shoos up Eros/Cupid. Call Van Morrison!

WAR! what did you do, Daddy? (slight blue alert)

War on Christmas got you down, bucko? Hit default, darling.

“Everyone’s a Christian at Christmas” debates Eric Branget, Julia Pastorius, and David Burrows from Another Fucking Christmas Play: A Fucking Musical. Didn’t the High School do that last year?

WAR! PARTY!

Did someone say War on Christmas? Get your dancing shoes on!

Quichenight’s “Funky Little War on Christmas” is all the soundtrack you need to shimmy into and out of any argument. Cool

WAR! neutral corner

Let’s call the whole thing awful and celebrate Something. (Or is that what they want you to think?)

Leave it to Devo to defuse the bomb with “Merry Something to You,” an inclusive electronic welcoming mat of weirdness. Deedle deedle deet dee.

WAR! armistice

Can’t we just go back to season greeting? Must it be belligerent?

Well, on the one hand, Scott Anthony Andrews maintains he’s still like a child this hopeful time of the year. “I Still Say Merry Christmas” is less about taking a side, and more about merriment, despite the cheesy synth country.

On the other hand, “Don’t Wanna Hear No Merry Christmas” is a cry of alt pain from Kittywinder because it’s a sad time of the year. Be a little sensitive!

WAR! what nonsense (BLUE ALERT)

The chaos and madness of battle can drive us up the Walmart. The War on Christmas has befuddled a few.

“If There’s a War on Christmas (Christmas is Winning)” teeter totters us around the room with gleeful showtune childishness from Lauren Mayer. Oh, yes, she is Jewess. I think that’s part of it.

Macarone sultry raps out “The War on the War on Christmas.” I can dance to it, but i can’t follow the soul train of thought. (BLUE ALERT)

WAR! really?

Perhaps a primer on The War on Christmas speech…

Rob P Rocks has a translation for you in “When They Say Merry Christmas.” It’s not good news, but it’s a sprightly old timey dance tune. (With an Obama epilogue.)