Month: July 2019

It’s All Relative, including the kids

Can’t have family without offspring, so let the wee ones tell ya how much they like having you all around (in their way) for the Christmas cheer.

Grabby like kids Vonzella Cummings and Eddie B Cummings chant out their “Family Christmas” in a tin bathroom so you can’t barely tell what’s going on. So alt it doesn’t have an ending.

I’ve already hooted over “Jasper’s Worst Christmas.” Whit Hill rollicks the bluegrass over the full house. Ha ha ha to rotten families.

The shaking of presents might lead to a manic guessing frenzy if not for strict mom and Bible dad in Bruce Reimer’s old-fashioned country tale “Family Christmas.” Greed disappoints, family fulfills. Or whatever.

Pandy Walshe dad-lectures then sing-structures what the kids should expect in “Family Christmas.” Kid country at its frothiest.

Mark Anthony Harrison Buckley dirge beats the pop Santa story “Our Family Christmas.” It’s about the kids having to wait, but singing with the whole clan to help pass the time. Counts.

It’s All Relative, spirited

Not that you need any more excuses, but when the family shows up with baggage and bottles one solution presents itself: two parts bourbon, one vermouth.

Happy families drink as well. Brian Tiernan offers up “A Christmas Toast” with banjo pop playfulness. Cheers.

Welcome back Kristian Bush who’s still “Thinking About Drinking for Christmas.” Honky tonk slurry fun at the intolerable family’s expense..

Big and Rich list out the problem/drink answers when they get drunk, drunk, “Drunk on Christmas.” It’s all settled with a bouncy country pop tune. (Jimmy Fallon covers this with one of these guys. More hooting.)

It’s All Relative, holy god

Family for Christmas might mean filling the pew out (hey, what’s the sound of bullet ricochets off church benches??). Mo’ people, mo’ prayers. Mass-ive!

Discover Worship has a kidsong to teach you the lineage of JC. Cute. But i can’t listen to “Jesus’ Family Tree” without thinking of Yakko’s State Capital song.

Lloyd Zuniga and Mary Murphy-Zuniga blend mom and dad voices for “A Family Christmas” that’s all about The One Way… and hot chocolate.

Can’t get enuf of the Mark Dubbeld family singing for the Fox 21 Morning News. This is the no-fear talent show local set belting out “Warm Family Christmas” as hard as God’ll let ’em. The more they mention The Savior, the bigger they smile!

It’s All Relative, impoverished

All you need for Christmas is family. No presents, no food, no warmth, just co-sufferers. Or so the songs would have you believe.

Keith Williams has some country fun with “Redneck Family Christmas,” portraying the back woods as just another place–still got Santa (bringing roadkill). Some fun, huh.

Megatrax incorporates the music mill by offering “Redneck Family Christmas” with male or female vocals but without extending credit. Ain’t nothing but a down home portrait. Don’t know no better but to enjoy.

The Arrogant Worms lead us out of the South, well southern US. The South for Canada offers Great White Trash like “Christmas in Ignace.” This assault of a tune reveals the joy in getting a rock for a gift.

It’s All Relative, activities

Can’t play games ’til all the family members up. Let’s play!

Bad families have their own button-pushing to get done, certainly. I hesitate to mention Robert Earl Keene‘s big holiday hit as it strikes me as an accepted number in the Christmas canon. So, i’ll turn on Julie Sobule’s cover as it eases off the beatbox rhythm and adds just a touch of heart (and not just ‘cuz it’s HER brand of ciggies). “Merry Christmas from the Family” to alt-country your novelty needs (and the next to happy ending).

Beginners hearken to Banyan Global Learning, whose “Family Christmas Song” will teach you customs and the English language too. Kids pop.

Anita Wilson sashays some middle of the road soul with “Family Christmas.” This is some tribute to heart-warming fun, y’all. And, i suspect, karaoke will be proposed.

Naomi Hooley pounds on the ol’ pianner with some upbeat churchy country assigning roles in her “Family Christmas.” Her loving managing might make this the best ever holiday. I’m in.

It’s All Relative, the cooking

We’ve covered the casserole dishes repeatedly over the years, but food = family, unless you’re some heathen McDonalds-ite for Xmas.

Yumminess from Bing Crosby reprising “Christmas Dinner, Country Style.” Big band country curdled with square dance steps. But it’s all about family.

Encore for “Aunt Clara’s Christmas Casserole” a Ray Stevens/Andy Griffith har-de-har country comic mashup from Dann & Yeaney. Clean your plate!

Most inappropriate is the returning hit, “Grandma’s Christmas Dinner.” It’s folk/bluegrass black comedy from Paul and Storm. Be ready to run.

Dr. Duke Tomatoe offers a new dish with “Christmas at Grandma’s”–another comic take on emetic cuisine. Pop easy listening fun about family torture.

It’s All Relative, so proud

Is it just so wonderful to see all them again with love in their hearts and gifts in their laps? Are you turning to mush inside?

David DeBoy comedy brags about the family with the “Flegman Family Christmas Letter” using easy listening oomph. Ha!

Ritchie Remo seesaws his pop country doggerel into “Christmas Family.” I include this ‘cuz of the touch of killer fiddle and purdy tenor, but background only….

Just as metronomic, Lizzie West and Baba Buffalo praise/miss the warm hearth with their “Family Christmas.” Earnest folk tearjerking.

Nicholas Cunha plays the good son card with the well meant and talented “Family (An Original Christmas Song.” It’s serious as a loaf of bread.

It’s All Relative, dysfunction

Oil, water, vinegar, gasoline… it takes all kinds to make one group of relatives. Go with it.

Lynyrd Skynyrd gets honky tonk American rock with the aw shucks celebration “Skynyrd Family.” They’re one short of an eight track.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Saturday Night Live had a running ‘Dysfunctional Family’ routine, including the commercial for the “Dysfunctional Family Christmas Album.” Pop psychology parodies.

Todd Yohn goes gay musical with “Dysfunctional Family Christmas.” Curious, but a bit ordinary for a colorful family collective.

Vancougar gets melodically mellifluous with their “Dysfunctional Family Christmas.” It’s a heartwarming celebration of what Xmas really means.

It’s All Relative, say hello

Let’s bebop to the holiday home!

Previous parody from The Parliament needs reprising. “Christmas Time” is all about the malaise of that time of year, but family is the burst acne on the cake here. Pop folk drollery.

Tim Nordstrom sounds fatalistic with his piano bar jazz “Christmas is Family.” Perhaps he’s a couple drinks in and whiskey philosophical, but it’s making a relaxed sense.

Simen Tangen crushes it with the fluffy pop of “Family Christmas,” a ’70s throwback about love and whistling. Long notes, too!

It’s All Relative, dogs BLUE ALERT

Troubles are part of the packaging when it comes to Christmasfamilytime.

“Black Dog Family” are better off without ’em. The old ones, anyway. Now, the new family (the little black dogs) are all Three Ninjas need. Awfully fun folk alt with commentary. BLUE ALERT–we hate ’em so much.