Monthly Archives: June 2019

EX-Mas, never be over it

Christmas is ruined, life is over, no more sunrises. From what you did to me, bring out the crows. Dunzos!

Every year the connection to the cheer and you-not-here triggers the country blues from Travis Tritt. “Christmas Just Ain’t Christmas Without You” is a bar burner of piano rolls. Vince Vance & The Valiants plugs female vocals into this trauma.

The Supremes aren’t getting over what seems 5000 years of missing him in “Just a Lonely Christmas.” Girl dour.

Bowling for Soup cheers us up just a bit with this no holds barred lamentation with upbeat pop: “Miss You Most on Christmas.” See, he thinks about you every day since you left, twice on holidays.

EX-Mas, dealing

It’s been a while since the disunion. How’s it going?

M J Moore matter-of-factly (tone-deafly) offers “I’ll Miss You at Christmas.” Someone take that drum machine away from that cancer-throated crooner!

John Eddie just doesn’t want to talk about it. Country pop crooning “Another Lonely Christmas” is all about just getting through it–maybe next year will be better.

Misty Boyce toasts “Merry Christmas, My Love” from far away. A gentle country twanger, almost cowboy with echoic solitude and strength.

Ex-Mas, a special place in hell BLUE ALERT

You horrible person, you did me so much wrong I can no longer do what Jesus would do. Instead I curse you, with colorful spiteful obscenity!

[Ed. note: i love these turn-about venom-laced manifestos!!]

It seemed like only yesterday James Cole was wishing his departing girlfriend “A Very AIDS-y Christmas.” Soft ballad. BLUE ALERT

Gibson covers Landon Tewers’s “I Hope You have a Shitty Christmas” from a few years before on this blog. Definitely worth repeating. Pop. BLUE ALERT

A toothless set of insults from Pop Punk Band lets her have it with “I Hate My Ex, I Hate Ex-Mas.” It’s a bit punk, a bit techno, a lot pop.

Slightly meaner, Mr. Cork wears a “Christmas Tattoo” that says ‘Screw you’ on his butt in memory of your mistreatment of his heart. Calypso infused pop.

Appropriate hate from Johnny Setlist with a long setup about the perfect holiday relationship–and THEN! “Christmas with Someone Special” is BLUE ALERT in all the best ways, you–you–you poop-head! Ironic pop.

EX-Mas, not dealing with it

That inbetween space ‘twixt light and dark contains the brokenhearted. During dark times (solstice, frinstance) the mopey becomes the dweller in the cellar for as long as–say a song.

Bobby Vee’s 1962 swingin’, swayin’ “A Not So Very Merry Christmas” blues-rocks the woes melodically with long-drawn out chorus notes. Can you dig it?

Luther Vandross makes an annual fool of himself with the R+B complaint “Every Year, Every Christmas.” He won’t give you up, no matter he can’t find you. You had to be there.

Mariah Carey is all over the octave plaintively crying out “Miss You Most (At Christmas Time)“! Pop ear burster.

Taylor Swift shows the talent you’d expect with “Christmasses When You were Mine,” a gentle trembling country piece of poetry about living in the past.

EX-Mas, messed up BLUE ALERT

Up. Down. Over it. Hating it. What was I saying? The breakup? You? Xmas?

“The Worst Christmas Song Ever” features Johnny Polygon’s mantra to deal with the heartlessness you done him. Those words are a BLUE ALERT, but they don’t work anyway.

EX-Mas, celebrating

Hoorah! We’re lonely! All of us together!

The Memphis Ukulele Band wishes “Merry Christmas Broken Hearts,” ‘cuz folk uke noodling is an indicator Santa will bring you new love. Awful pretty.

Dr. Elmo goes almost legit with “Here’s to the Lonely,” a country anthem to lift the spirits. Or get you to lift the spirits to your mouth.

EX-Mas, what now?

Head swirling, room closing in, future uncertain–

You left me and I don’t know what to do next.

“What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas?” wonders Anthony Hamilton in just the right R+B.

The same question from The Emotions results in no more answer.

EX-Mas, wallowing

It’s over. You’re alone. Christmas day. Look around. Whaddya got? SELF-PITY!!

Banging on the toy piano Mind’s Eye circles the drain with “This Christmas Sucks,” but it’s worth the wailing guitar solo. Angry over lost love!

Steve Lukather & Friends hammer rock into the blues with “Broken Heart for Christmas.” Is that a happy ending after all, or are you so deluded with sorrow you imagined it?

EX-Mas, down the road

Okay, he/she didn’t really leave, just physically unavailable at the moment that counts. So there’s songs for that separateness.

Hadn’t, couldn’t, don’t–Katharine McPhee is having contractions without you. “It’s Not Christmas Without You” is a pop diva directed diatribe of non-situations, soaring yet wallowing. The official video shows him just down the road until the surprise happy ending.

Lena Anderssen is going through the Christmas motions but “It ain’t Christmas ’til You’re Home.” Miss you, miss you is the issue with this twinkling soft pop.

The Lonely Hearts Elvis swing the blues with “Christmas Without You.” Breathy, probably because they’re phone-sexing.

EX-Mas, deserved it

So, I‘m the stinker?!

Cherrywodd ha-has up a buttload of Australian honky tonk for the irresponsible “Broken Heart for Christmas.” It’s catchy, it’s seductive, but you wind up with an pounding emptiness afterwards.