Licking Candy Canes (BLUE ALERT)

A lot of thought goes into a Christmas blow job, at least guys never stop thinking about it. So call out the reindeer: On Deepthroat, and Biter, and Blower, and Kissit; on Gobbler, and Hummer, and Sucker, and Chewedit. But have you heard this one?

Nocturnal Emissions seems to tip the junk to ‘Battle Hymn of the Republic’ with their “Christmas Blow Job,” a finger-poppin’ pop rock song that argues the economics and practicality of the gift.

Jenny Talia answers the husband’s wish list with the resigned R+B rocker “Christmas Blowjob.” It’s a bit sad.

Matt Rogers puts the X in explicit with his ‘Jingle Bells’ whackoff: “Suck on My Cock.” This gets passed around quite a bit on the internet, if you’re wondering what the internet is for. I may have blushed myself.