Fraudulent Unacknowledged Crooked Koran (BLUE ALERT)

While whooping it up, being true to our school, we might at times take other names in vain.

Certainly South Park is known for this xenophobic excoriation with Mr. Garrison’s “Merry Fucking Christmas,” a show stopping number you can holler to be racist, or be ironic about racists. Seen this already.

Justin Cooper playfully paeans the American way with “A Fuck You Christmas Song.” Tooting and tootling, we face alcoholism, patriotism, and apathetic despair. Love Xmas or eat shit and die.

Fermented Upbeat Caroling Kudos (BLUE ALERT)

Left-handed celebrations allow for the comfort and joy, while acknowledging the misery and discomfort of the holiday seasons.

Lovebyte says “Merry Fucking Christmas to Me.” Experimental pop at half speed. I can feel the love. Ow.

Name dropping the yuletide usuals, ReWine rocks the pop out of “Merry Fucking Christmas.” I got pop Bingo!

The DAWS slam yin and yang together into the mosh pit of UK pop (half punk, half skiffle) for “Christmas Fucking Day.” It’s a drunken surrender into family. Gotta do it.

Fond Upon Candied Kisses (BLUE ALERT)

So you love Christmas, i mean really love Christmas. So what’re you going to do, sing?

Hovey Benjamin of Funny or Die demonstrates with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Rap comedy, of ‘the fireplace is lit’ variety. Mostly listing.

Kiwi Matt Mulholland goes beyond the pale with his white rapping “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Nasty boy, nasty boy, whatch goin’ tadoo–?

Fiancé Unto Castle K-mart (BLUE ALERT)

We have established beforehand that swearing is an emphatic heightening the word meanings to their superlative status (mostly because we don’t know more words). So the king of all bad language might mean how ecstatic we are with Christmas.

Doug Walker (“The Nostalgic Critic”) of Channel Awesome nails this conceit with “I Fucking Love Christmas.” Here presented as metal fun musical video within the complete skit. This gets pretty twisted.

Fashionably Unbalanced Cartoon Keepsake (BLUE ALERT)

Animation and swearing, it’s like chocolate and tuna fish! They shouldn’t go together, but somehow–

‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ is the easy target here, ‘cuz it’s a musical (duh) and also weirdos like it.

Gamma Secretase plays “Fuck This” as a Madlibs, poking in the swear word for some other word as often as possible. Your laughter levels will tell you how high you are at the moment.

Shorter and more clever (though with direct drug references) is Lord Jazor’s “The F*ck is This?” Yeah, i know, it’s a Christmas movie, not really a Christmas song. Still like it.

Foul Unadulterated Cantankerous Knavery (BLUE ALERT)

What begins as heartbreak can infect all customary Christmas celebratory delight. She left you, so the whole package can go hang. You understand.

Dave Kilgore deadpans the light rock of “Merry F’n Christmas” adding to the comedy of contrast with his increasing venom. Poor guy.

Skate Punks (SK8PNX) want to go home with you, but it’s not meant to be. So garage rock out the “Merry Fucking Christmas” sadness. But xylophones don’t make me sad, dudes!

Federation Undersecretary Captain Kirk (BLUE ALERT)

Christmas is so full of expectation, that any loss is catastrophic and cuss-worthy. Jilted for joyeax noel? Time for snarling slang!

Those Dreaded Gnats roll up the woes with “Merry FXmas,” a tale as old as flat tires. Cool rock pop.

Niki Luparelli is crestfallen by your caddishness, so “Why Don’t You Go F Yourself (This Christmas)?” I mean really, to this lounge diva brassy bossa nova tempo, why don’t you perform all these euphemisms? G’head.

Financial Unrest Concerning Kickbacks (BLUE ALERT)

Anger at overspending (and having to return crappy presents) excites 85% Jesus to rockin’ song with “Merry Fucking Christmas (To Some of You).” Wow.

But finally, a song that celebrates the 1% (with tongue in ass-cheek) for the holidays. Meanspiritedness trickles down, motherspender! Brad Sucks and John Benjamin present “Fuck You, Motherfucker (It’s Christmas)” as a quarterly economic lesson for the rest of us. Coffeehouse pop folk. Have fun with this one.

Fully Uncaring Carnival Kangaroo (BLUE ALERT)

Dulled to death by the holiday haze, the next monotone messages may include THAT WORD by disaffected default. Ain’t no thing.

The Christmas version of The Great American Trailer Park Musical includes the pick-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps jubilee “…It’s Christmas” by Susan Koozin and cast. Up with hillbilly people who swear pretty casually.

Barely able to muster the breath to complain, The Mike and Ryan Project project “Oh Fuck Me, It’s Christmas Time” onto a wrinkled sheet with a candle powered projector. The tuba helps. And cool is momentarily lost. But the swearing is automatic and unfeeling.

Guinea Worms plunkity plinks on the toy piano through “Oh F*uck, It’s Christmas Again” as if time were merely a countdown to the end. Who the f*uck cares anyway?