Dysphemism and Christmas needn’t be cacophonous. Nay nay! Let’s try on some sugar-coated songs with less than parliamentary language.

I guess ‘cuz i like the rock and the roll i find Fear’s “Fuck Christmas” euphonious. Sue me. It’s short.

The Mr. T Experience stadiums up the garage anthem with “Merry Fucking Christmas,” a positive greeting of some warmth. And beer.

Austin Litz injects a modicum of calypso into easy listening with the funny “Fuck You Christmas.” Swinging, soothing, sarcastic soft jazz. And the sleigh you rode in on.

Poppy neutered harmonica on Andrew Giachetti’s “It’s Fucking Christmas Time” too fun to miss. Don’t.

“Fucking Hating Christmas” is a winsome pop musing from Gary Agg that won me over quite a bit. I just listened to it again.

Jason Bieler’s Owl Stretching have a bone to pick with the calendar (its days are numbered!). “Fuck You It’s Christmas” is a newage folk protest about the meanness of the masses. Christ! (But it’s pretty.)

Amping up like ’70s party rock, Rollercoaster X sneaks in the fulminations with “A Merry Fucking Christmas to You.” In the nicest way possible, thank you.