Did you really ASK for something to wear?: ‘Course you didn’t! That’s lame-o!

“Grandma’s Christmas Shirt” tells us the story of that gift you have to wear but you’d rather burn. The Good Year Pimps go appropriately punk for this honest discourtesy.

Drunk parody fun time! “What Tie is This?” takes a turn at ‘Child’ with the wit of Robert Lund of FuMP. You’ll larf, if you’ve lived this.

‘Course there’s the sizing problem. Mel Blanc gives us classic nationalism with “The Hat I Got for Christmas is Too Beeg.” Reeng dee bell and beet duh drom.

Then there’s socks. Something Awful Christmas Songs tells the whole sordid BLUE ALERT tale in “King Lou’s Terrible Christmas Song.” You might need a drink.

Andy Pagana gives you the actual list of what he does want. But most especially, he country kidsongs, “I Don’t Want Clothes for Christmas.” You’ve been warned.

The worst gift JD McPherson ever got? “Socks.” A jazz romp of considerable elasticity.

Boogie rock with Trout Fishing in America: “Santa Brought Me Clothes.” You need to reinventory your misdeeds for the year, dudes. Santa’s telling you something.