Presents of Mine: the gift card, you lazy bastard

When you don’t know what they want, when you don’t have the time, when you don’t care–

Big bald whiteys Super Secret Project beg you not to get them crappy presents. To Pachelbel’s Canon in D minor SSP go all in with “Cash or a Gift Card.” Not that’s a carol.

Some live it and love it. Kyle’s Xmas is a show sponsored by Colorado Public Radio. This year he brags it’s gonna be a “Gift Card Christmas.” The reason for the season.

Black Jesus is sending you love telling you to “Open up the Gift Card.” BJ54321 means it from the bottom of the envelope.

Lil Poverty Angels return with the problem “Who Took My Christmas Gift Card?BLUE ALERT Not playing. Rap.

Thao Nguyen (with Maria Bamford) gets really country over the dilemma of “The Gift Card Song.” The illogic of it all!

The Snake Oil Willie Band make a fun joke out of “Gift Card.” Bouncy rockabilly excuses.