Monthly Archives: June 2018

Presents of Mine: shopping blues

Has the spending and crowding and futility of it all got you down, bucko? Time to wail the blues.

Along the Road make the blues pretty with “Christmas Shopping Mall Blues.” Shiny big band finishing, melodic, yeah even a bit whiney. Next.

Fat, Happy and Blue jazz up the blues to the level of gin bar with “Christmas Shopping Blues.” Still flashy, sexy, and stand-uppity. What else?

Raw, ragged, and joyously hopeless, The Christmas Jug Band gallop around “X-Mas Shopping Blues.” Roaring fun. (Still wish i had some Memphis growlin’.)

Presents of Mine: shopping wherever else

Some specialized shopping destinations for Christmas herewith.

A scary pop song commercial for the UK TV channel Ideal World summons you to spend. Flexi-payments! “The One Stop Shop This Christmas” must not be listened to alone.

The Fallen Angel Choir yuk it up for a Walmart spree with their parody “Achy Breaky Shop.”

How about “Christmas at My Comic Shop”? Joe Quesada and the Idlechatters rock it for the geeks.

Jerry Darlek & The Buffalo Touch have a hint how to help the Christmas party: do your “Christmas Shopping Polka” at the liquor store. A personal message of sumfin er edder.

Presents of Mine: shopping wherever

Does your Christmas shopping list include where to get what?

R+B hollering from M-Dot, Lg leads to a thoughtful rap-sody about “Christmas Shopping in the Ghetto.” It’s quite a mashup production.

Twangy nasal bluegrass sets the atmosphere for “Christmas Shopping at the Dump.” Charlotta Clutter and Her Short-Notice Showmen make a classic case for Kentucky recycling. Fortune’s Favor have a protruding tongue in cheek with their folk shout out on the same title. Much less classy.

SYNTHAR sets the moog with “Pawn Shop Christmas.” Electronica overload to portray the possibilities of purchasing as if it were an ’80s cartoon.

John Dunbar bangs the folk out of “Christmas Shopping at the 99 Cents Store.” This coulda been a comic country howler, or an alt ironic as heck causticality, but it’s a fun celebration of living for less. Bravo.

Presents of Mine: shopping mockery.99

Previously on noveltychristmasmusic.com…

Chris Townsend demands we “Keep on Shopping in a Free World.” Take that, Neil Young!

Bob Rivers jokes on Purple Haze to give us “‘Scuse Me, I’ve Got Gifts to Buy.”

My favorite already posted shopping parody is genius Joel Kopischke’s “Shopping Mall of Broken Dreams.”

Can Christmas shopping be super cool? Check out Benny Grunch and the Bunch nasally laying out the blues with the relaxed acceptance of professionals. “I Bought Presents” includes a bottle, baby.

Presents of Mine: shopping mockery.01

Deja views–

Black Friday has been subsumed into the digital world and we can barely remember the frenzied line-standing anymore. Like who remembers Rebecca Black’s only hit from 2011? Ally Hills takes us back with “Black Friday.” Shopping as warfare.

“Shop Around” means something different to The Mistletones than it does to The Miracles. Go go go!

Dan and son team Meet the Bullens trick up Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’s hit to reach “Christmas Thrift Shop.” Goodwill to men.

Presents of Mine: shopping for taste

Not all songs about Christmas shopping are great music.

The Olympics have a disco soul party with “Santa Claus Boogie in the Shopping Mall.” But to what geriatric end?

Shorty Garrett impersonates rockabilly with cheap equipment in “Shopping Shopping Shopping.” We’re laughing at you, Shorty.

Blake Jone & The Trike Shop go agenda-mad with “Christmas Sale.” Apparently it’s two-faced to spend money for Christ’s aborning–wait, wait, not done yet–WHILE being mad at big box department stores for not calling it a ‘Christmas sale,’ but only a ‘holiday sale’ (or something something… hang on, is this something?). Cool indie irony, but ya got me twirling.

Presents of Mine: shopping rhythms

Some folks take the long lists and crowded aisles in stride while Xmas shopping.

Garage pop from A Shaw Thing tries to lean in to the marathon with “Christmas Shopping.” Up beat and beat up.

Bluesy funk from J Randy Krauss makes family “Christmas Shopping” a sentimental lovefest. Too far?

Manic depressive from Ren and Stimpy. “We’re Going Shopping” covers the great and the groans of their expedition. Happy happy joy joy prevails.

Rockabilly sells it. “Christmas Shopping” by Angry Johnny and The Killbillies honky tonks the spirit within an inch of its life. Wouldn’t wanna be on their list, tho.

Presents of Mine: black shopping

Black Friday is traditionally the kickoff to Christmas shopping. It’s been a couple years since i trowled out Black Friday songs for Christmas. There have been some recent developments:

Harsh judgment from The Homeless Gospel Choir in the form of “Black Friday.” Alt, not gospel. Although prayers for the departed are included.

Real Digital Music ramps up the anger slightly for “Forget Black Friday Song!!” Listless rap; black sales don’t matter.

Rusty Cage (slightly BLUE) bebops cute kid music to underscore his deadly “Black Friday Song” message. Graphic imagery, but, y’know, y’tube.

Presents of Mine: shopping countdown

Snow… trees… decorations… what’s missing? Jesus? No. Gifties, please.

Let’s spend some time searching, acquiring, prepping, and delivering the packages that pack the proper punch. (And NO special love messages that i-only-want-you, or Christ is the gift of God [that he hung on a tree]… no no no, we want mercantile materialism to minimize the malaise of modern madness. I said gimme gimme gimme, kay?)

So shop until we drop the pretense of what this holiday is all about.

The Russian Futurists proffer some electro-pop “100 Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” BLUE ALERT, but this is so lovestruck and iconoclast, it gets thumbs up without reservation. Dance, consumers!

One of Cledus T Judd’s less clever bits of irony is “364 More Shopping Days ’til Christmas.” You’re to never stop shopping year-round, get it? Plodding and predictable, it is still humorous. Leave it to Cledus.

Durand Bernar parties hip hop pop with “Christmas Shopping in July,” infecting us with symbolic joie de vivre bordering on dyspeptic mania. It’s about the feeling, but all good holiday songs are.